Sunday Post #4

Well, this week was another doozy. I hope I don't come across as using this as a place just to vent, but that sort of seems like the way life has gone lately. I am glad I am writing this at the end of the week instead of the beginning of the week, or my tone may have been a bit different. I think time helps settle things and even if things don't quite make sense, they are okay instead of feeling completely out of control.

So, here's a short long breakdown of the rough: (I am telling you, it seems like life just gets crazier and crazier):
Monday: Well this day was a bust. I went to work and it was absolutely crazy. We were in the midst of a million little storms and I was feeling super stressed. I went back into our office at one point and saw that I had missed a number of calls from Flor's bus driver. I had a few voicemails from him as well and so I immediately started panicking. Well, little did I know, but Flor was early out from school all week long. YES, mother of the year, right here, that DID NOT KNOW that her child was early out. If I was stressed before, I was over the edge with that news. I normally don't carry my phone with me out on the floor at the hospital, so enough time had lapsed that I just listened to three angry voicemails from him and a few panicked ones from my cousin Che'. The bus driver was understandably very mad and he ended up leaving Flor with a neighbor that answered their door- though it was a neighbor we don't know and so I was not super pleased with this. I think that the protocol for not having a parent home is that they take the child back to the school (that was my understanding) but he kept saying in the voice mails that he needed to take her to a shelter per his protocol. I would have preferred him to do that and then I would have dealt with the consequences of that instead of leaving her with a neighbor that we don't know and that does not know Flor. He had called Che' multiple times because she is listed as the emergency contact and given her an earful. She said she could leave and come get her right away, but she was in SLC. By the time I got all these messages, I was super upset. I called another neighbor that we do know to go get Flor from the first neighbor and then called the bus driver back just to let him know that I had gotten the messages and to apologize. Oh boy, it was rough. I was out on the floor at the hospital in tears feeling like I was the worst mother ever. Not a good start to the week. I don't know how I didn't get the memo about early out, but it was just her school and ALL week long-- makes no sense the week before Spring Break, but oh well. Don't worry, I had plans for her on Tuesday for a sweet neighbor (her activity day leader) to come get her off the bus. Not the best way to start the week, though.

Jen and Steve stayed with us that night, which was super nice. They were on their way to Mesquite for their spring break. It's always fun to have them around.

Tuesday: Another doozy. We received word via email that Ecuador rejected our dossier and wants a whole list of stupid, stupid things fixed before they will approve us. This came as a huge surprise because our agency made it sound like we were just waiting to be matched. Apparently not. The list is the most ridiculous things...we had my brother Michael translate it, because they sent it in Spanish. I wrote and requested that our agency send us an official translation so that we make sure to do it right, but we haven't gotten that yet. Ugh. I want to get going on it and get it done, but I want to do it right the first time! I felt SO overwhelmed by this for the next few days. It is going to be a bit of work, more time, more money, and more energy. It's not even the money that I care about at this point. It is just so exhausting thinking about jumping through these hoops just to jump through them, especially because we have so many other things going on and I have really been feeling good about traveling soon. So, no, I am sure this will delay us a few months. And just for kicks and giggles for those of you who are not on our adoption facebook page, here is a small sampling of what needs to be fixed and my sarcastic comments in parenthesis, since we all know I have a problem with over use of parenthesis:

Psychological Study:
*We need to address why we had Flor living with us since Dec 2011 but she was not adopted until 2012. Why the discrepancy in dates? (Note from Kim: Uhhhh, because of your ridiculous process in country? What else do you want me to say?)

*It is necessary to record the opinions thoroughly of the biological children on their their thoughts on the adoption of a new brother or sister (Because I am certain that both Jace and Hallie can eloquently state that in at least a page each)

*The grief process for the miscarriage I had is not thoroughly explained. Their words "An event of this nature requires the support of a professional". (So they want me to do a course of grief therapy to talk about an early term miscarriage?? Seriously!?!?!)

*It is not clear what our objective is for wanting to adopt another child (though this is talked about in the home study, in the psych report, AND i wrote a two page statement about it at the request of our agency just to be sure...that was the first time around...what more is there to be said about it? Shouldn't they just be happy that someone wants to adopt a child!?!)

*It is necessary to record, with photos, the home environment and family activities that PROVE a relationship exists between the parents and children (Really. Seriously. No words.)

Home Study:
*It says that I work for myself in the work of adoption. Them "What does this mean? Is it your own job, or a state job?" (Because the term 'working for myself' is not clear). They then want me to prove that I worked in adoption prior to this job by getting a letter from my previous employment. (oh joy).

*Our tithing donations were listed as part of our financial section. Them: "Who is donating? And why??"

*They want an explanation of my student loan. WHY do I have it? (I am not sure if STUDENT and LOAN together could be more self-explanatory, but okay)

And my person favorite:
*Expand on information of food costs. Their words, "It is only $350 for 5 persons per month to eat? You receive food donations." (Yes, that last part is a statement. They accuse us of being on some sort of subsidy because we only spend $350 a month on groceries. Yep. I am not sure how to even go about talking about this one. Should I submit my receipts? What would even be the point of us lying about how much we spend on groceries per month? Wouldn't they be much more alarmed if we were spending an insane amount?? So unclear why this is important...)

Yes, oh, SO FUN! 

Wednesday and Thursday I spent most of the day at the Utah Adoption Council Conference. We (UAS) have had a booth there for the past few years. While I normally love these events, I just was not feeling it. I was too worried about everything else going on. The good thing about it, though, was that our home study provider was there, so I was able to clue him in to everything and we talked about a strategy for getting the updates done as soon as possible. So, that was good.

Wednesday, as soon as I got home from UAC, I got a call from Flor's teacher telling me that her face was swelling and it looked like she was getting a black eye. She asked me to come get her (unsure why since black eyes are not contagious and it was 15 minutes before school ended...weird). Anyway, yes, her face was very puffy and she has a huge black eye and bruise extending over to by her ear. They swear that nothing happened at school and I have no way of knowing if something happened the day before because she was with a babysitter. I do suspect that it happened at school, though, because her face was so swollen then and it went down quickly that evening and the next day. It's still pretty ugly. Poor girl. Wish she could tell me what goes on sometimes! I wouldn't even be mad if they just said that someone hit her accidentally (and this is likely- some of the students get violent sometimes) but it's just weird that no one seems to know what happened. Sigh. 

Wednesday night, I was on trauma call and got called in at 1:30 am and was there until 3:30 am, which was an awesome way to spend my middle of the night hours. This week has been crazy for traumas at the hospital for some reason. Who knows why...but I will just count my blessings that I was not on Saturday night as there were 4- yes FOUR- in the middle of the night. I am sure my co-worker that was on was there the entire night. Awesome way to spend the weekend!

Some of this is not necessarily on the negative list, but it was just a busy week, so I'll include some of the other things we did just for record's sake :)

Thursday night, I spoke at an adoption community event about international adoption and specifically Flor's story. There was another couple there who shared their story and some agencies who talked about their international programs. It went really well. I wasn't really looking forward to it just because I'd had so much going on and I wanted to just sit at home and do nothing (or go to bed because I'd been up the whole night before!), but I was glad that I went. I talked to one couple after who is thinking about international adoption for a good long time and that was really nice. I do love the adoption world. 

Friday we had Che' and Landon's kids last minute as their babysitter was sick. We had a great time with the kids and had to laugh because everywhere we went, people commented on my five children. I'm crazy, but not that crazy. Anyway, Flor had an event that morning where she received a free bike from the American College of Genetics and Genomics. This group meets in a different place annually for their conference and partners with local organizations to provide bikes for kids with genetic disorders. They happened to be having their conference in SLC this year, the year Flor has been working with Shriners. We feel so blessed that she was given an adaptive bike that she can ride! It is a costly bike, too, one that we would never have been able to afford, so we feel especially grateful. I will post pictures of that at the end. 

I then took the kids to McDonalds for them to burn some energy and to consume 4000 chicken nuggets. That afternoon, I swapped Landon and he took all the kids so I could go down to Provo for a birth parent relinquishment. I had to hurry back as I had a phone interview with a couple that night. I finally had a few hours of relaxation that evening after that crazy week. 

Saturday I had interviews with a couple in their home for a home study and then spent the afternoon with the kids at the Jiffy Lube, because, you guessed it, car problems!! We went to get the van's safety and emissions done and it didn't pass because it needed new brakes. YEP. Another $400. It's almost comical, huh? 

Saturday afternoon, my sister and Steve were passing through town on their way back from Mesquite and picked up the kids to take back to Idaho with them. After the bus event, I had been freaking out that day, feeling like I ask too much of my neighbors to help me with the kids. This next week is spring break and I had no plans for the kids for Monday and Tuesday when I work at the hospital. I was venting this to my mom and Jennifer and they both immediately volunteered to take them. I definitely have the best family ever. So, the kids left Saturday afternoon with Jen and Steve and I'll go get them Tuesday evening. This is so awesome and provided a nice opportunity for me to go to the Women's Broadcast last night...which leads into the good stuff of the week.

1) Women's Broadcast. I have not been able to go to one of these for YEARS because Devin is always working. My sister-in-law Kirston called earlier in the week and asked if I wanted to go with her and some of the other sister-in-laws. I really wanted to go, but didn't think it was possible because who would watch the kids? Jen and Steve came in time to get them so that I could go. And it was amazing. I loved President Eyring's talk, the music, and the videos. There was nothing even super profound about it all, but just being able to be there with people I love and to sit quietly and feel the spirit was much needed. It was amazing. We went out for smoothies afterward and decided we'd make it a tradition with the Perry girls. Love it.

2) My ward had the Relief Society birthday dinner on Tuesday night. Again, I didn't think I'd be able to go because I did not have a babysitter. But, my sweet neighbor, definitely prompted by the Spirit, texted me to tell me she was sending her daughter over to babysit so that I could go. I thought I didn't really have time, either, amongst all my craziness, but again, I needed to be there and it was so perfect. There is just something about a sisterhood of people who love and help each other. We had homemade Cafe Rio (my favorite) and then went around and talked about "Angels Among Us", people who had helped and served us in times of need. I didn't think I was going to say anything, but then the mic came to me, and well, I had a lot to say. I am so grateful for the women in my ward of who have rescued me many times. I moved in not even a year ago and have felt so much love and caring toward our family. I have been in the position often of feeling like I have needed to ask for help, and that's always hard. Yet, every time I have asked, they have come. I am so grateful for that and I was glad to be able to express my gratitude to them. 

3) Today in Fast and Testimony Meeting, the little girl who gets Flor off the bus on Mondays and Tuesdays and spends an hour with her until I get home from work got up and bore her testimony about the positive impact Flor has had in her life. It was the sweetest testimony about God's love for all of his children. I was so touched because I was unsure how our babysitter had been feeling about everything. She is quiet and does not tell me a lot. I will admit another flaw of mine here, so don't judge. I often get stuck in the mode of thinking about the extra hardships that Flor has and I get anxious about leaving her with people because of her needs. To me, having someone watch Hallie and Jace is not that big of a deal because they are pretty easy and just play, but Flor takes attention, time, and effort. It is harder for me to ask for help with her because I worry about how she'll act. But, so many people came up to me after sacrament and our babysitter's testimony to tell me how positively Flor has impacted their lives, too. How amazing and what a beautiful blessing.

4) My cousin Carlie came to see us Wednesday afternoon and brought a big "Box of Sunshine" and then stayed the afternoon with me. I really needed her company and a distraction from everything, so her visit was timely and so needed. I am grateful for her for being such a blessing to me and being one of my people. 

5) Our entire family and some friends fasted for us today to help our adoption process move along. When life gets bogged down and hard, the solution is fasting and prayer. In his talk last night, President Eyring talked about the people of Alma and how they were under the huge burdens that Amulon placed upon them. They had taskmasters continually working them and placing large loads upon them. He shared this verse, which is just what I needed this week: 

And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord. (Mosiah 24:15)

The very act of fasting this week and knowing that so many were fasting with us was enough to help me feel my burdens being lightened. I have a new perspective on the dossier situation...while it still sucks, I feel better equipped to handle it somehow. I don't feel so depressed and down about it, I feel more ready to take it on. I know that has come through the power of prayer and fasting from so many, so thank you. I don't know that I am ready to submit "cheerfully" as the people of Alma did, but maybe I'll get there. :) 

And now, after that beast of a tale (sorry!), here are a few pictures:

Carlie's Box of Sunshine. Isn't she amazing?

Jace is such a funny boy. He asked me to send this picture to uncle Mikey to show him his shirt. This is not the first time this has happened. I'm not sure why he thinks Mikey cares so much about his shirts, but okay! And I really do have to send them, because then he sits and waits for the text back and asks me to tell him what it says. 

Ready to get her bike!

There it is!! So excited!!

Us and our five children! :) We had multiple comments about our twins (Jace and Hudson). If they are twins, one is certainly stealing food from the other (Jace from Hudson). :) There were a bunch of news outlets there and we were photographed with everyone multiple times. I hope we appear in the newspaper with all our kids! The Davis Clipper did contact me and want to run a picture of Flor on her bike, which I told them was fine. We don't get that paper, so probably won't know if it happens, but Flor may be making the paper twice in one month. She's our famous one, for sure!

Cute Jovi at McDonalds! Love her and trips to the Play Place!

Whew...I think that's it!!