Houston Temple 2020

 The year 2020 has brought so many challenges to me personally. There have been some rays of sunshine amidst the storms, though, and when I look for them, I see them. Devin and I had the opportunity to go to Houston to go through the temple with our nephew Kayden, who received last minute permission to go through right before he left for his mission. Because of COVID-19, temples have been shut down for months. I have thought about how hard it has been for me to not be able to go to the temple in the past many months, especially as I have faced certain trials. I find the temple to be a place of peace and refuge. Devin and I had a goal to attend a new temple every month during 2019 and we made that goal. To go from attending the temple at least monthly to not at all for almost this whole year has been hard.

When the opportunity arose for us to go with Kayden, we jumped on it and got last minute tickets to Houston. Being in the temple this time was the most unique and maybe one of the most sacred times I have ever been. Just our party was allowed in, which consisted of Kayden, his parents Shawna and Slava, Devin's parents, his sister Jana, me and Devin, and two close friends of Shawna and Slava. There were a handful of temple workers to help us out, but other than that, we had the temple entirely to ourselves. The feeling there was sacred and almost as if we had a special invitation from our Heavenly Father to be there. 

One thing I have struggled with in the last few months is feeling acknowledged for what I did and what I went through. I know it's an internal feeling, not something that people are actually doing or not doing, but for whatever reason, I have often felt like no one really understands the true sacrifice that I went through to bring Paris to this world and then to go through the aftermath with the hysterectomy and the physical and emotional damage that came with that. I have tried to fight the feelings, but often find myself feeling confused as to why I needed to go through so much when I was just trying to do a good thing in the world. 

I recognized while sitting in the temple that I had not been able to have that extra source of support by attending during the months that were hardest. We haven't been to the temple since February, when we went with Jana in Florida. At that time, I was still pregnant with Paris. I haven't been able to go since her delivery nor the aftermath.

While I sat and pondered the last few months during our time in the temple, I had an overwhelming sense of peace come over me and I had the physical impression come, "I am proud of you. You did what was asked of you and I know that it has been hard for you, but you did it." I know that this was a direct impression to me from my Heavenly Father, who truly knows and loves me. HE knows, and so does his Son, what I have been through. Why do I need to have validation from the outside world when all that matters is knowing that my Heavenly Father is proud of me? It was truly an answer to a prayer that I didn't know I had, but came from the deepest part of my heart. 

I am grateful for a God who knows each of us, loves each of us perfectly, and who is the ultimate source of peace and comfort.

Hallie's Baptism day!

Hallie was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on November 5, 2016. She turned 8 just the day before, so it was special that she got to be baptized so quickly after her 8th birthday. Hallie was baptized with her cousin Ryder in Ryder's ward. The two were also blessed together- so fun to share milestones with family! While we were getting ready that morning, I asked Hallie why she had chosen to be baptized and she said "Because I want to follow Jesus Christ and be a part of His church." She is a true blessing in our lives and a wonderful daughter and sister.

The day was beautiful and wonderful in many ways. It is crazy how fast our kids have grown up and are reaching these big milestones. Hallie looked beautiful in her dress from Grandma Lisa. She was baptized and confirmed by her dad. We had a luncheon after at Kirston's church, which was also really wonderful. We made sure to sing Happy Birthday to my mom as it was her birthday that day :)

All the big pictures are on Kirston's camera, but here are a few that we have. It was a day we won't soon forget.

Hallie's Pre-Baptism pictures

Hallie was baptized on November 5, 2016 as a member of our church. We didn't think about getting pictures taken of her before hand, but then an announcement came in the mail for her cousin Ryder's baptism (they were baptized together), so she was wondering where her announcement was. You'd think she'd learn that her parents are just not that on top of things! :) So, we took her to the Ogden Temple on a Sunday afternoon and took some pictures ourselves. That's why they look so professional ...;) We made up an announcement and sent them off, you know, a few days before the baptism. That's okay; at least we have the keepsake I guess! 

Hard to believe our girl is 8. Here are some of the pictures we took:

 And a few of just the temple, because it's pretty gorgeous.

Photographer Sealing Pictures

One of the biggest surprises of Mishell's sealing day (I know I already used that phrase a few times-- but there were just so many!!) was that my friend Terra Cooper, who is an amazing photographer, just showed up to take our pictures as we came out. I did not ask her to and I did not know she was coming, but it was so amazing and kind of her! She took some fantastic pictures of us, even though it was freeeeezing outside (you'd never know by her talent!). Seriously, so, so grateful for this gift! Here are just a few of them:

Look at that amazing sky!

I promise we were all happy, despite Devin's face!

Our amazing support crew! And again, the SKY!!

Mishell's Sealing!

We prepared for a few months after Mishell's baptism for her big sealing day. We planned it for April because that gave us a few months to meet with the missionaries and to help her understand what would be happening in the temple and also because I was hoping to past morning sickness by then (and luckily I was!), but I also didn't want to be huge pregnant.

We planned the date for April 23 in the Ogden Temple. Little did we know that our move out date would be moved up to that exact day--- so the day was really quite chaotic, but we had so much help and family support that it turned out great. Everyone came to the sealing in the morning, to our house for a BBQ for lunch, and then they all helped clean the old and new houses and the men moved all our big furniture. It was quite the day.

The sealing itself was amazing and so, so sacred. There is just nothing like being in the temple with your whole family! We had an amazing sealer, again who had adoption ties. I don't think this happens by coincidence, but he talked to Devin and I before hand and shared his experience adopting his children. It makes it that much more special when the sealer has a good understanding of adoption. He spoke to everyone there for a while, then the kids were brought in in their white dresses and suit. They looked so adorable. Mishell looked a little worried at first, but when she saw us, she immediately relaxed. It wasn't until we were at the sealing alter that she broke into a big smile. It was a wonderful ceremony and it was so special to be surrounded by so many friends and family.

I asked my sister in law Lara to take some pictures for us and she was amazing to do so. We also had so many surprises and gifts that day that made the day extra special. I'll talk about a few of those as we go. Most of these pictures are from Lara:

I called Aunt Alisa the week of the sealing and begged her to come help me with the girls' hair before hand. She of course said yes and I am oh so grateful. The girls all looked darling thanks to her pro hair doing skills!

Point proven!

On our way to the temple!!

One of the most special parts of the day for me was having three of my OSSO friends come to the sealing. Stephanie, Beth, and Wendy all knew Mishell when she was tiny during our volunteer days. Beth used to sing to her "Michelle my Belle" by the Beatles all the time and it is such a special memory for me. So to have them make the effort to come meant the world. We need to actually get together and catch up now too since I didn't get to talk to them for long! Those OSSO days, man they were life changing.

Look at those two cuties with their treats from the temple nursery ! They had such a good time with all the lovely temple workers there.

This was another super special part of the day. Elder Maza, previously known as Pablo, was able to come to the sealing! He was from the ward we attended during our time in Quito to adopt Mishell. He came multiple times with the missionaries there to help teach her the beginnings of the gospel. He was waiting for his visa to leave on his mission to Ogden, Utah. I invited him by email, thinking it was a long shot that he would be able to come but when we walked into the sealing room, his is one of the first faces I saw!! Such a miracle. He came to our house for a short time after for lunch but then had to return to the work ;)

Just some of the people who came to support Mishell and our family: 

Jana is another one of the first faces I saw when I entered the sealing room! We had no idea she was coming, but she surprised us and came all the way from San Antonio! It was the best surprise ever. I wish we had gotten more time to chat while she was here, but it was so chaotic with all the people around. Thanks for coming Jana. It means the world.

Some of the kids playing in the new play room! :) Breaking it in.

These guys amaze me. Without even asking them to, they started on deep cleaning the new house while we were feeding everyone lunch. They wanted to make sure we had everything in tip top shape before we moved the big stuff in. Aren't they the most amazing sister in laws?

Cute kids outside the temple

Devin's boss and his wife came, which was super nice of them! They are such good people and role models for Devin.

Cleaning Crew: We ended the day moving all our furniture out of the old house and deep cleaning there. We had so much help, it went really quickly. Thank you family for being the best ever and sticking it out on the crazy day to help us.

I think this must accurately reflect how I felt at this point: Beat

All in all, a chaotic, but wonderful and very special day we won't soon forget!