Ecuador Day 40-It's Official!

Well, it's official! Flor is ours!

When I woke up this morning, I instantly knew that I didn't feel so swell. And by not swell, I mean horrible. Great. Just the day to not feel well! We have been here for 40 days with nothing to do  every day and the most important day of our adoption journey I have the makings of the flu? Awesome.

Flor was luckily feeling better. I tried to sleep it off and self-medicate all morning long, but nothing quite worked. I just prayed that I would be able to make it through court. We got the kids up from their naps at 1 and got ready to go. Our agency had told us that we should dress up for the event, which we did. Devin did opt out of wearing his shirt and tie and instead went for a polo with his dress pants. A good call, a good call.

Getting to the courthouse was stressful as we hit horrible traffic. We were supposed to be there right at 2, with our hearing to be at 2:15. We finally jumped out of our taxi about 3 blocks away and ran the rest of the way as we were in stand still traffic. We got there at about 2:05. MJ and Fabiola were there waiting for us and we went right into one of the offices.

We waited for just a bit and then moved into the judge's office. She soon came in and I couldn't help but notice first thing that she was wearing a pair of jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. Can you say "overdressed"? Yes, we were. She took a seat behind her desk while her secretary (?) pulled up a chair beside her and started typing on the computer. The judge asked for color-copies of our passports, which we did not bring as MJ told us we would not need them. Fabiola ran downstairs to get the copies while the judge pressed on with the proceedings. She began to ask us questions about our relationship with Flor, why we decided to adopt, why we chose a special needs child, if we understand what her care is going to entail, what we are willing to do for her as parents, if we will love her the same as a biological child, many variations of the same, and my favorite (she asked twice): "Do you realize that you now have three children?" Answering the questions was torture, not just because we felt highly interrogated, but because there was no translator there (Fabiola doubles as the attorney and translator and she was out, remember) so we had to answer the questions in Spanish. Neither of us are really all that great at Spanish, so I am sure our answers were interesting. It was also hard not to mention my previous relationship with Flor, as that is the real reason we have pursued her adoption. We have felt she is our child for sometime, but had to answer the questions about why we are pursuing adoption and specifically the adoption of a special needs child in a different way. The judge was not so encouraging either; she sat there and scowled at us pretty much the whole time. It didn't help that Hallie was running around wild around the room and refused to sit in her chair. Yikes.

We must have passed though, because as soon as Fabiola returned, the Judge asked a few more questions, had Fabiola dictate some things to the secretary, who dutifully typed it up, and then we signed some document. That was that. All done. We did ask the judge how long it would take for the decree (though I did not put my begging skills to use- I just was not up to it) and she said she would get it done as soon as possible. That could mean anything--but we will try to be hopeful.

We did ask the judge for a picture in the room and that opened her up. She was super friendly after that, holding the kids, smiling at them, blowing kisses at Flor, and asking us to send her pictures of her. Hmmm. Okay.

I had to crop the photo as it is a shot right up Hallie's dress. No one wants to see that. This is us with the secretary (in blue shirt), and the judge (sorry you can't see the whole outfit for effect). Please also forgive my hair. It has multiple problems, including that it has a new quality of life to it since my giving birth to children, and also that I had to do it without a mirror today as the bathroom plugs in our apartment don't work. Thus the ponytails every day.

This is Fabiola (attorney) and the famous MJ here with Flor.

After court, I felt as if I was about to die, but MJ said that we needed to go around the corner to a notary's office to finish the Power of Attorney process for Devin. She took us in a taxi, literally around the corner, and dropped us off, telling us that a man was coming to translate for us and that we ought to wait at the coffee shop next door until he came. We sat at the little shop for about an hour waiting for this man, who finally showed up. We felt rude just sitting there so ordered a few snacks to keep us occupied.

After the man arrived, he led us into the next door building where another long waiting period ensued. I felt so awful at this point that it was all I could do just to sit there. I laid my head on the table for a while, which I am sure they thought was rude, but hey, it's better than throwing up during the reading of the legal documents, right? Another hour later, that was finally accomplished and we headed home.

I took another long nap while Devin handled the children. He is such a champ. I don't feel much better yet, but at least I made it through court with no incidents. Can you imagine? What I wouldnt' give for a bowl of Chicken Noodle Soup right about now. Unfortunately, no such thing has been seen by us around here.

I wish the day didn't have such a negative undertone for me because this is such a significant day for us and for Flor. It's official. She is ours! Though it has felt that way for the past few weeks while we have had her (5 to be exact), it is nice to know that it is really real and that no one can take her away from us now.

The question the judge asked us about loving Flor the way we do our biological children was interesting to me. I guess I just didn't ever think it would be any other way. I have seen a lot of adoptions in my work and I know that the love an adoptive parent has for their child is to the same caliber that a biological parent does. We are so grateful that this journey has led us to where we want to be, despite it being a fairly difficult road. Flor is our child and we love her immensely. She has already taught me lessons I know I would not be learning any other way. I look forward to many, many more years of developing my relationship with her and enjoying the gifts and spirit she brings into our home.

HAPPY GOTCHA DAY FLOR!!! WE LOVE YOU!


(PS. We had a little issue with Flor's name. Our agency never informed us before that each child can only have four names- so even though we had planned to keep Flor's prior last names as her middle names, the agency went ahead and dropped them for us to comply with Ecuadorian law. Hmm. So Flor's official name is Maria Florinda Perry Perry. Yes, two Perrys as it is custom here to have two last names, (usually one from the mother and one from the father). I asked if we could keep one of her prior names instead of the double Perry and the answer was no. Don't ask me. So, welcome to the family, Maria Florinda Perry Perry!)