Ecuador Day 30

Another good day around here, though we still don't have any word on court. Ugh. Soon, soon--we hope!

This morning we took a walk to a higher scale bakery that we found up the road from us. They had delicious bread and delicious treats, but it was a bit pricey, so we will have to try to resist going there too often. It was worth it for today though, for sure. We spent the morning at home, other than that little trip.

This afternoon we went back to the Ejido Park and let the kids run around and play. The Harlans and the Schinnerers joined us there. It really is so nice to have friends around. It makes the time pass much quicker. Erin should be returning home this weekend and we will definitely miss her. The Schinnerers will be here probably the whole time we are as they came in the day after we did, so that's nice (for us!)

The rain decided to appear after a few hours at the park, so we departed and decided to meet back up again at Papa John's for 2 for 1 pizza night. We waited ages in the rain for a taxi before finding one. And actually, the "taxi" we took was unmarked, which has happened to us a few times. I think some people just decide they want to be a taxi whenever it is convenient when they see desperate people like us need a ride and they can make a quick buck. It's pretty awesome.

Pizza was fantastic, the company even better, and all in all it was a great day.

Here are some pictures of our day at the park.

A real gem of all the kids. Hals is bored to death, Jace skeptical, and Flor interested in something behind us. Great shot.

Hallie promised Adri that she would catch her on the slide and she is a woman true to her word!

Flor and Hallie alike love Jim. He is just so great with the kids. He had Flor laughing and laughing today.

So, how are things really going around here? Well, of course there are rough times and better times. I hesitate to share difficulties here because I don't want anyone to think that we regret our choice to adopt Flor, but on the same hand, I have never been good at "faking" things and I want to be transparent in an effort to not sugar-coat this process and to be real.  Honestly, I never expected this experience to be easy and I was never naive enough to think that we would not have problems, and we have had difficulties. However, we have had so many confirmations of our choice and we honestly feel that Flor is our child. Each child comes with unique trials and difficulties and Flor definitely has hers. So, just know, that despite our sharing the truth of difficult times, we will never regret our choice to be where we are. Sure, there may be days where we think "What are we doing?" (and honestly, the first few days, I can't even tell you how many times I thought this) or "I just want life to be easier, like it used to be", that does not mean that ultimately would go back and choose anything different than to be where we are.

"I never said it would be easy; I only said it would be worth it" comes to mind.

Devin and I made the executive decision yesterday to stop with the potty-training process. This has been a bit of a debate for us because it is clear that Flor is capable. However, she is stubborn and as of late, just mentioning the word "potty" or "bathroom" sends her into a crying fit. She was becoming frustrated with our constant attempts to have her sit on the toilet (as she refuses to learn the sign for "bathroom") and we were becoming increasingly frustrated with her stubbornness, especially because as soon as she would just sit on the potty, she would usually go. We just decided that the level of frustration around here was not worth it, especially because we felt it was not fostering positive feelings in Flor for us. I noticed it especially in the last few days when we would spend time with the other two families, Flor would get so excited to see them and run and give them all hugs. No such excitement was happening with Devin and I. She has gotten quite mad at us over the potty issue. So-- the decision has been made. Abandoning the potty training for now in favor of a more trusting and loving relationship with our daughter who probably doesn't quite know what to make of us right now. 

Another thing we are struggling with is instituting boundaries with Flor. She needs a lot of re-direction and has behavioral issues that we don't allow Hallie to get away with (pulling hair, hitting, biting) so that we should not allow her to get away with either. But, as it is, it seems like we have to let some things slide with her or else we are constantly getting after her. It seems like we spend all day telling her "no" when I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement. I hate that we have to tell her "no" all the time, yet she needs to know that certain things are not okay. So, that's been a difficult line to draw--when to discipline, when to ignore...etc. We are having to really re-think our parenting with her and we are still figuring out what works and what does not work. I am sure this will be a long process!

Don't be frightened of us putting the truth out there. We really feel good about how things are going overall and are happy that Flor is part of our family. We love her immensely and want to see her grow and progress and learn new things. She has a very sweet spirit and I feel like we are peeling back her layers, little by little. She is a wonderful addition to our family and I honestly can't wait to see how things go once we get her home, into school, into therapies, into a routine, into the doctor, etc.