The Back Story (Part 1)

I don't know how long this will get, so let's just start with this and see where it goes.

Our adoption journey really begins back when I was in Ecuador. Read here for that story and here for some of my thoughts about MF.

Devin and I really started discussing adopting MF about a year ago, I would say. We knew that one of the requirements was that we both be 25 years old, which wouldn't happen until fall 2010. However, I started emailing people in about April just to figure out what the process would be like and to get some background info. I first emailed Stacey, the lady who had been over Precious Miracles where MF moved when I left Ecuador. Stacey had since left Ecuador to be home with her family while her brother battled a brain tumor. However, she was able to direct me to the new orphanage where MF was living, For His Children. The directors there are also from the United States and moved to Ecuador in the late 80's to start an orphanage after feeling like that was what God wanted them to do. They were great to email me and send me updates on MF. She was excited at the idea that Devin and I were interested in adopting MF, as she said that she had been available for adoption since 2008 and no one had expressed any interest in her.

Being able to keep track of MF all these years is nothing short of a miracle. I can't tell you where any of the other children are that I worked with in the orphanages there. I don't know how many have been adopted, how many are still at the same orphanage, or how many have been moved elsewhere. I was really devastated when I found out MF was moving at the end of my time in Ecuador, but I know that she was moved at the right time and to the right place. I also don't think it is a coincidence that both places she has lived since have been run by English speaking, North American people who have been willing to communicate with me and send me updates. It has all just worked out so amazingly.

About April, I also started emailing adoption agencies. There are only 3 who facilitate US/Ecuador adoptions in the United States, so it was easy to gather information from each of the three. Each one told me the same information- we needed to wait until we were 25, even to start the home study. I thought that was kinda crazy because I thought the home study process might take a while, so why not complete it while we were 24 and then have everything ready to go for when our birthdays came? Well, that was the firm answer. Nothing could be done until we were 25. While this frustrated me at the time, I really feel that the timing has worked out incredibly so far.

I don't remember how and when we started praying/attending the Temple to confirm that this path was right for our family, but that has been an integral part of this process. I have really felt since the time I was in Ecuador that MF was my child (I know- you are probably thinking that is not possible, but I just had such a connection with her that I can't even describe.) I have talked about her our entire marriage and Devin has sat through countless nights of my crying to him about how much I miss her and how much I feel that she is missing from our family. I really worried in the beginning that this was something that was going to be my desire and that he would just go along with it because he loves me and wants me to be happy. However, throughout the process, he has been right there a long with me and I know that this is our decision- something that we have searched out together and both feel is right. I have drilled Devin so many times about whether he will feel the same about her when she is here and whether he can love her as his own child and he constantly reassures me that there is no doubt in his mind that he can. I know this is true- one of the first things that attracted me to Devin was his love of children and his interactions with them. He truly has the capability to love any child and this is a blessing to us in this situation since I do already have a history with her and a connection with her. I am excited to see how the bonding process goes for him and MF.

Initially, Devin and I had thought that we would go through with the adoption before having another biological child. However, once we knew that we needed to wait until we were 25 and that the process could take 6 months to a year plus from there, we thought that it was important that we continue to grow our family. I really feel that the timing in everything has been perfect- our son is coming at the right time and MF will join our family at the right time as well.

Once our birthdays hit, we immediately began the home study process through an agency in Salt Lake. We had a lot of documents to gather, medical reports to have filled out, references needed to send in letters, background checks from every place we have lived since the age of 18 (yes that includes Portugal and Ecuador for us...yikes!) and then we were finally able to schedule our home visit. We had the visit and our interviews on December 1. Having been on the other side of the process, I really tried to prepare Devin for what to expect. I had our house in tip top shape and had asked him all the questions I usually ask my adoptive couples to prepare for the big event. Well...let's just say we were a tad bit over-prepared! The home study worker was very nice and really easy to talk to, but we did just that- talk. She asked us some questions about our background and stuff, but nothing near as in depth as we go into in our agency.

Up to that point, we had not talked to anyone about what we were doing...other than the people we had asked to write reference letters for us, because, well, obviously they had to know. Devin's parents wrote a letter for us before they left on their mission and two of our good friends, Camille & Buzz and Kylee & Seth wrote the other two (we had to have one relative and two non-relatives.) It was hard to keep everything a secret, especially for me, but we felt like we needed to be far enough into the process and have a better idea of what to expect before we started talking about it openly.

Next...talking to our families and the matching process! Oh and the joke that is adoption training (all done online.) That's enough for now, though.