Dedicated to my Dear Cousin Shawna

I sent this to Stacey, the director of the orphanage where "MF" lives now for an anniversary memory book that she was putting together:

My first night in Ecuador, I had a really eye-opening experience that taught me more than I can begin to describe on paper. I spent that first night, New Year’s Eve, in the hospital at a night shift with a child that I had never before met who had serious medical problems. I went into the night shift feeling quite sorry for myself because I was alone in a dirty, cockroach infested hospital in a foreign country with a baby that I did not know. To make matters worse, my fellow volunteers were out spending time getting to know one another and going to a traditional Ecuadorian New Year’s party. I sat staring at this baby for a few hours, really pitying myself and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Midway through the night, this precious little girl started to cry. I begrudgingly picked her up and started to rock her. Within minutes, my eyes were wet and my whole body shook as I held her. I realized how selfish I had been and realized at the same time how important I was to this child at this moment. She had no one to call her own family, she had no one to even care about her, and she had faced more in her short year of life than I had in my entire life. The only hope she had at that time was me; I had the opportunity to make a difference in her life and it was my decision how I was going to spend my three months in Ecuador.

My attitude changed after that day and I spent my time in Quito doing my best to make a small difference in the lives of the children that I served. MF, the baby that I spent the night with in the hospital, became very special and important to me. She was in and out of the hospital the entire time I was there and I volunteered to spend most hospital shifts with her. Near the end of my time in Quito, I had such strong feelings for this baby that every time I thought of leaving her, I could hardly contain my emotions. Her little spirit had taught me so much and I had seen vast improvements in her growth and in her health since I had been there. I felt that my experience in Quito was important for all the other children, but I really felt that I was there to help this little girl. In the orphanage, she had little care and was disliked by the staff because she was always sick.

Near the end of my three months, I began hearing rumors that MF was going to be moved to a special home that could better care for her needs. I was frightened that I would show up for a shift at the orphanage one day and that she would just be gone. However, she was there on my last day and I had the chance to say goodbye to her, thinking it would be the last time I would ever see this precious child that had come to mean so much to me. With my fellow volunteers, I spent three days in the jungle before we were scheduled to fly back to the states. When we arrived back in Quito after the jungle, I heard the news that MF had been moved while I was gone. I was also told by the site coordinator of our program that she had pulled some strings and found out where MF was and that she had arranged for me to be able to visit that afternoon before we flew out the next morning. I was ecstatic at the thought of being able to see MF again one more time and at the opportunity to see where she now lived.

When we arrived at her new home, I was greeted graciously by Stacey, the one who would be taking care of my little girl from then on. I was struck by how nice the home was where these children lived and by the obvious good care that they were receiving. I was so relieved to realize what a blessing it was that MF was brought to this home, where she would not only receive much better care, but where she would be loved, something she received little of in her old home. She would no longer be looked at as a burden, but as a precious child who was appreciated. Seeing MF in her new home was the closure that I needed before I left for home the next day. However, she has never left my thoughts and I think about her and pray for her and the other children daily. By the time I left Quito for the first time, I knew that I had made a difference in the life of MF, however small it may have been. That feeling is irreplaceable and incomparable to anything I have ever experienced. MF was the main reason I decided to go back and visit Quito for two weeks in August. The difference in the baby that I had known five months earlier was like night and day. MF was not only doing well, but she was thriving in her new environment. She smiled constantly, which is something she rarely did before! She was so much bigger and so much healthier. It was such a blessing for me to see her doing so well.

I returned home and have "sponsored" MF ever since. I get monthly updates about her and every few months I will get a picture. She is a huge part of my life still and I am grateful for that one little girl down in Quito, Ecuador because she has made a difference in my life.