Adoption...

...It's About Love.

I have been meaning to write this post for a while, but have had other things going on. LDS Family Services' new website, http://www.itsaboutlove.org/, which is improved from an older version, is now live. Go check it out and be inspired by the wonderful stories found there. I can't tell you how blessed I am to have the job that I do. I don't talk about it much on this blog, but it is a large part of my life and something I am so grateful for. I get to be right involved in the Lord's work of creating eternal families. I have had sacred, spiritual experiences too numerous to name over the last year that I have worked there.

I tell my adoptive couples all the time how strong they are. I don't know if they believe me, but I honestly admire so much the strength that they have. Not many people can go through something so trying, yet be so grateful for it. I have been blessed by my association with such amazing people. Infertility is tough, but it is the refiner's fire for people that go through it. There are special experiences that adoptive couples go through as they expand their families that some of the others of us don't get to have. Being in the temple with each child and having them sealed, for example. What an amazing experience! I admire adoptive couples because they have to have such faith in the Lord and His plan for them. Most of us like to have some element of control over our lives and to have a plan for when and how we are going to do things, but that isn't possible for couples in the adoption world. Though it can be frustrating to not know when things are going to happen, it is incredible to see the faith involved in knowing that when the timing is right, the Lord will provide.

Sitting in the infertility chair would be, in my opinion, one of the most difficult trials to go through. I have listened as so many people (mostly women) bear their souls and describe how heart wrenching it is to feel "broken" in a society where childbearing is honored, respected, and even expected. "What do I say to people when they ask me when we are going to have kids?" or "I want to be happy for all my friends that are pregnant and having babies, but it is so hard, because I want so badly to be there too." These are common sentiments expressed by adoptive couples. Hearing their stories has definitely changed the way I think about others. I wish for each of us to be a little more sensitive because we just never know what situation someone else is in.

On the flip side of the coin are the amazing women who choose to place their babies for adoption. Something I learned my very first day on the job was the positive adoption language, such as "placing the baby" versus "giving up the baby" (That makes me cringe now). Do you see the difference? Birth mothers give everything to that precious baby that they choose to place in another mother's arms. One of the messages on our phones that plays when you are on hold is this quote that runs through my head a lot, from a birth mother: "If I had loved him one ounce less, I would never have let him go." True, so true. I think birth fathers are often left out of the equation, but they too are amazing (most of the time) people who think first of their child's needs over their own. I have had equally spiritual experiences working with birth parents as I have with adoptive couples. I have learned to rely on the Spirit to direct the things that I say and do. It is incredible to see the results of something that I said or was directed to do not on my own. I had one of those experiences last week. It just reaffirms that the Lord is in charge and that I am simply an instrument. I strive to live the way that I should so that I can receive those promptings. Each person is different and each person needs different direction at different times. I don't know how I would do it without the Spirit.

I just wanted to write this post to say how thankful I am for my job and the wonderful people that it puts me in association with. I was reading my journal from my senior year of high school a while ago and I had written goals for my life, one of which was to work at LDS Family Services doing adoption. I had forgotten that that was a goal of mine, even back then! But I am so happy that it has come to pass and that I am privileged enough to be doing the work I am, even when there is so much to do it is almost to the point of overwhelming. It is still worth it, even then! :)






Image from here