Opposition

Opposition.

I feel like we are getting nothing but right now in our adoption. When we started this journey, I knew it was going to be hard. But never did I imagine that it would be this hard. Maybe it is because this isn't the only hard thing I feel like I am battling right now, but I just feel like this really testing me.

Why do good things have to be so hard? I know the answer to that, but things are just so crappy right now. I hoped we would be immune to opposition, but we have been hit over and over again. I am almost to my breaking point. I think our motives are pure. We want to bring an orphan, special needs child into our home. So why is everything going wrong? I know that in reality, this experience will teach us to treasure MF even more for everything we have had to go through to get her here.

Some scriptures are taking on more intense meaning for me:

(2 Nephi 2:11) For it must needs be, that there is an ^aopposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

(D&C 29:39) And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves; for if they never should have bitter they could not know the sweet—

And this one, which has always been a favorite scripture of mine. This is a comfort to me because I know that when I am at my weakest, as Paul says, then my reliance is more upon the Lord and He can make me strong:

(2 Corinthians 12:10) Therefore I take pleasure in ^ainfirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in ^bpersecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am ^cweak, then am I ^dstrong.

I know that ours is exactly the type of situation that Satan fights hardest against. He knows that families are of utmost importance and he aims to defeat them. He wants us to give up.

Believe me, I am far from giving up. I am just ready for something to go our way.

I know the best things in life require long and hard fights. MF is going to bring us so much happiness and add joy to our lives and the fight is worth it. Just like adding Hallie and then adding Jace has made Devin and I  more complete and much more happy, I know it will be the same with MF. So, we will just have to fight that much harder.

The latest:

I received an email last week from our agency letting us know that we were "officially" on the docket to be assigned this Thursday (tomorrow, the 20th). This after almost a 2 month wait for the assignment (remember how the first date we were told was September 8th?) Well this time really did seem to be the real deal, because the other families who have been assigned have told me that they got the same message about being "on the docket" before they were actually assigned.

Well, we have obviously been anticipating this Thursday all week. It felt like something was really going to happen.

Then, I got this email today from our agency:

Hey Kim,

The copy of the passport that we submitted with your dossier shows that your passport isn't signed.

Please sign your passport, re-scan and send to me asap. I will send to Ecuador.

Also, did you keep a copy of the spanish application? MJ (rep in Ecuador) is saying something about the signatures at the bottom of the page...that Devin's doesn't match his passport. Can you explain that or resend that page with new signatures.

Okay. I was a little annoyed that I was just getting this information the day before our case was to go before the assignment committee when our dossier has been in country for three months now and we have been sitting here doing nothing. However, it seemed fixable... I ran home from work, signed my passport, and scanned and emailed a copy back. As for Devin's signature on his passport, I explained that yes it is different because his passport is seven years old and his signature has changed in that time.

J (agency rep here in the US) emailed back and assured me that all would be fine with that explanation and the new copy of my passport.

That is until this evening when I got another email stating that it is in fact NOT fine. They would not accept the copy of my passport. I now need to get a new copy of it, notarize it, and apostille it (Remember that process where I had to drive our documents to Salt Lake to be apostilled- basically a notarization of the notary's stamp and it cost an arm and a leg and took two days? Yeah. That.) As for Devin's situation, his signatures must match. Okay, GREAT. So we must re-fill out our application and have him sign his signature as he did seven years ago (who knows if he is even capable of that?? The signature is very different. Let's be honest, he was 18 then.) We then must also notarize that and apostille it again. Good. Great. Oh, and the kicker? The committee will meet on our case next Thursday if we can get the documents done and Fedexed to Ecuador before then ($125 to fedex! No big thing!)

That's only going to take a small miracle. If we don't get them there by then, who knows when they will meet again and actually look at our case. I am going to do everything in my power to get them there, but I have to be honest and tell you of my extreme disappointment and frustration at this point. I am confused as to why our documents were not reviewed prior to today in order to catch these things? Had I known Devin's signatures would be an issue, we would have just gotten him a new passport when the kids and I got them. It would have been much easier. I am kicking myself for not signing my passport, but again, why was it not looked at when it was sent three months ago? Just frustrating.

Clinging on to all the hope and faith I can at this point....

Those of you who are mighty pray-ers (or anyone who prays at all), would you be so kind to offer one up in our behalf? As you can tell, we need it.