Houshold Detecting Devices: 1, Kim: 0

Happy New Year everyone! I had a really eventful New Year's Eve and I am going to share it with you because I am sure you all need a good laugh (at my expense...yes, I am secure with my own stupidity.) It all began as a very, very boring evening. Devin had to work and Hallie went to bed at 7 like normal, because well, we are the ones who suffer when she stays up late. I had decided that Hallie and I would celebrate New Year's on our own before she went to bed and even made snack foods for us to have to make it as fun as possible. A real joy, I know- the two of us at home alone. Anyway, it was great, we ate our hearts out and then she went to bed.

Right around 10:30 pm or so, I begin to hear this suspicious beeping noise. Upon further investigation, I determine that it is the carbon monoxide detector. However, it is only beeping once every minute or so, so I am unsure what is going on. I am on the phone with my friend Camille and quiz her about her knowledge of carbon monoxide detectors. We conclude that if it is not beeping incessantly, everything is probably fine.

I settle back in to watch the New Year's celebrations on TV, but the dang beeping is just bothering me so much and minute by minute I become increasingly worried. I decide to place a call to Devin at work. I explain the situation to him and he calmly tells me to open the windows so that we can get some fresh air flowing and to turn off the heat if it makes me feel better. I follow his advice, but the relaxation is short lived. I am almost in full panic mode because the beeping hasn't stopped. I make the unwise decision to look up carbon monoxide poisoning online and become increasingly panicked with each thing that I read. I place about five more calls to Devin commanding him to come home immediately. He insists that he can't because he is the manager and the only one who knows how to do the closing duties. My response: "I can't believe you care more about whether the store gets closed properly than your wife and daughter possibly dying!!!" (I can be quite dramatic if need be.) Devin remains calm and insists that things are fine. (I can't prove this, but he probably rolled his eyes a time or two, too.)

I resume my internet searching and find a checklist of carbon monoxide poisoning symptoms.
Headache? Yes, I have that!
Dizziness? I am definitely dizzy!
Nauseousness? I felt the urge to throw up just a while ago!
Lightheadedness? Yes, definitely!
Confusion? I guess I am confused? Do I know my name? Do I know where I am? I don't know what is going on, so I conclude that I am definitely confused!

That is about all I can handle. At this point, I decide to call the number listed on the website for poison control. I explain the situation as calmly as possible to the lady on the the line and she asks me if I have tried changing the batteries in the unit. Why didn't I think of that? Duh. So I grab some new batteries, change them out, and breathe a sigh of relief. That has to be it.

Nope. A short time later, the beeping continues. The lady then assures me that this is indeed a problem and that I need to get out of the house as soon as possible and not return for the night. She gives me the number to Questar and says to call them in the morning. Because the unit isn't beeping incessantly, she said she suspects a small leak, nevertheless, she wants us out of the house right away.

It is now about 11:30 and I run around like a crazy woman throwing whatever I can find in a bag to head out for the night. I drag Hallie out of bed and throw her and our stuff in the car, all the while calling Devin again at work to tell him that I knew there was a problem and what are we going to do now?! He says he is almost done with work so to come there and we will decide what to do next. In the meantime, I place panicked phone calls to my mom and sister and continue to look up carbon monoxide poisoning information on the web (who knew you could get internet in the Smith's parking lot? Well you can, just in case you wonder.) I become convinced that Hallie and I need to go to the ER because according to the website, even small incidents of poisoning need to be treated right away with oxygen treatments. I call my mom and sister again to see if they agree that we should go to the ER. They both agree that we should, particularly because I tell them that my symptoms exactly mirror those listed on the website for a minor case of poisoning. Plus, the poisoning can be worst for young children and for fetuses. Both of which I have. Great.

Once in the car, Devin asks if I closed the windows in the house at home. I tell him I did not and he insists that we need to go home to close them or else the pipes will freeze. Reluctantly, I agree to drive him home to close the windows. Hallie and I wait in the driveway in the car while he runs inside. 20 minutes later he has still not emerged and I am of course thinking the worst- the carbon monoxide has gotten so bad in there, he has gone in and died! (Somewhere in here, we wish ourselves a happy 2011 as the clock strikes midnight. Thrilling way to celebrate, eh?) I refuse to step foot back in the house, so I decide to call his phone.

"Yes?" he answers.
"WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING???!" I shout into the phone.
"Umm, honey, I am afraid to tell you this...but I am pretty sure that is not the carbon monoxide detector going off. It's a smoke detector."

Sure enough. All that time, it was a smoke detector in the bedroom upstairs (which to my defense is REALLY close to the carbon monoxide detector in question) that was beeping. I swear I stood in front of the carbon monoxide detector and watched it beep. I timed it for quite some time to see how often the beeps were coming. It took Devin taking the unit off of the wall and taking all of the smoke detectors off of the ceiling throughout the house except for the offender to make me believe him. A simple battery change in that unit and the beeping ceased. Hmmm...imagine that.

So, Happy New Year to everyone! Here's to hoping that the rest of 2011 is an improvement on that first night for me...

(PS. New post on the adoption blog...Finally!!! Read it here)