M's Adoption- Part Two

A little extra back story here: My major reasons for not considering adopting M in the past when I was rallying to find her a family were because  1) Adoption costs a lot of money, and 2) because our family didn't feel ready. It has taken this whole time since Flor came home (almost 3 years) to feel "ready" to add to our family again- thus, the attempts at getting pregnant at the beginning of the year (apparently I wasn't quite aware of what direction adding to our family was supposed to go at that point).  I felt the weight of impossibility settle over me every time I thought about adopting again (because I have thought about that a lot) when I considered finances. Flor's adoption cost us about $25,000 total and I know that adopting internationally again would cost that much or more. Flor's adoption was largely funded by amazingly generous people who donated money to us to help bring her home. I knew that we could not go that route again to bring home another child, though. In my prayers over the years since Flor's adoption, I have told Heavenly Father many times that if He wanted us to adopt again, a financial path would have to be made clear. I know- who am I to tell God what to do? We just felt and feel strongly that one time is enough to request the generosity of others in such a manner.

Back to the unfolding of events:

That Sunday passed without my mentioning to Devin my impressions and thoughts from that day. I wanted to give it some more time to settle in my own head before bringing it up to Devin. Plus, let's be honest. Adopting again is not something we had considered at all, nor had we talked about it. So, I wanted to think about the way I was going to approach it with Devin.

The Monday after that Sunday (the very next day), we got a call from our realtor telling us that someone wanted to see the house that evening. It had been approximately three weeks since we'd even had a showing, so I was really excited about this news. We cleaned and scrubbed and got the house looking in tip-top shape for the showing and then headed out to a park with the kids to kill the time. As we drove back to our house after the allotted time had passed for the showing, we saw people standing in our driveway still. We drove by and kept driving around the neighborhood, occasionally driving by to see if they were still there. They were, three or four more times. I knew that this was good news. This meant that they were likely interested in the house, since they were spending an awful lot of time scoping it out.

The next morning, our realtor called to tell us that we had an offer on the house-- and not only that, but it was for $3000 more than our asking price.

Do you see how quickly the Heavenly Father works when we are willing to listen to His voice? The very next day after I'd had the promptings about what to do with the profit on our house, we got an offer for more than our asking price. I truly believe that He was waiting for me to get with the program and to understand what His will was for us before allowing the sale of our home to go through. Prior to that, our intention was to put all of the money toward my student loan. Seems like a great plan, right? I was so set on that, that had the house sold earlier, that money would have been gone to pay for that loan as quickly as we got it. It really took the sell falling through three times before I heard the message.

I am sure there were other times that Heavenly Father tried to get me to listen, but I wasn't hearing. The interesting thing about our buyers too, is that they had family in our neighborhood and were looking specifically for a home in our neighborhood to be near them. They could have started their search three months earlier and purchased our home, no problem. But they started their search at the specific time that coincided with when we were truly ready to sell. Every little thing about our situation and getting to this point has lined up so amazingly that I can't even say the word coincidence in connection with any of it. There's no doubt that it was all divinely orchestrated.

The next step in the process was to tell Devin my thoughts and feelings. So, shortly after we got our offer, we were again discussing our path from there, especially in regards to the money. I knew that it was now the time to bring up my impressions. I told Devin, through a lot of tears, what I had been experiencing. He sat there in silence mostly and just listened to what I was telling him. I was so emotional and the Spirit was so strong again, that it just confirmed to me what I had felt. This was the first time I was saying it out loud and there is something about talking about something verbally that can solidify feelings and thoughts from before. That was definitely the case this time. Devin, however, had not had the experience that I had, so I expected that it would take him a while to gather his own thoughts and get an answer for himself as to what we were to do. He did tell me at the end of our conversation that he was completely shocked by the bomb dropped, but that it wasn't a bad thing. He said that he was open to whatever the Lord wanted us to do and would take some time to figure out the answer for himself. I said, "So you don't think I am totally nuts?" and he responded, "Well, I didn't say that...". Haha. Good thing he is a good husband and is willing to find out for himself and not just go on with life thinking I'm nuts forever. :)

I was able to go to the Temple later that week with my friend Jill. Of course, the entire time, M was on my mind. I was hoping for some strong confirmation that this was the right thing for our family, but what I got instead was a quiet, simple peace. I recognized that as the Spirit, but it was not a loud or strong voice again. Why should I go in asking for lightening bolts when I'd already received such a distinct impression? Why doubt my first experience? Because that's the way Satan works. As soon as we grasp on to something good, he will do whatever he can to make us doubt those positive feelings. I had to ask myself over and over, "Did I really experience that? Was that what I thought it was? Did I make that up?" But, the peace at the Temple helped me to know that everything was right and good.