M's Adoption: Part Four

A few extra pieces of the back story that are significant:

Remember back in April, I had a miscarriage.  Devin and I started to feel that we needed to add to our family back in January. I quickly became pregnant and then ended up having a miscarriage. I think that we were right in our feelings that it was time to add to our family, but just not in the direction that we were to go to do that. The miscarriage was harder than I expected it to be, especially knowing how common they are and knowing how blessed I really am in the lack of fertility issues I have faced. However, the sting of that miscarriage really lessened when we turned our hearts and our minds to adoption. I have hardly thought of the miscarriage since beginning this process (although it has come up again recently just a little bit because I would have been due right about now) and it has really taken the pain of it away. I feel so confident in the path we're pursuing that I know the Lord is blessing me to just look forward to the future and not dwell on the hardship of the miscarriage. I don't know if we will have more biological children, but whether we do or don't, I feel peace at this point.

Second, after we sold our house, we had a time crunch to find a place to live in Davis County. We had decided even before the adoption came along that we would return to the world of renting. We decided this for a few reasons, one, so that we could learn more about the area and where we want to be, two because Devin may have other job opportunities come up within his field and who knows if we'll actually be in Farmington for too long, and three, so that we could use the profits from our house for my student loan. So, we began the search for a place.

I had decided that I liked the idea of living in Bountiful, but when we started looking at places to live, we found that our most realistic options within our price range were in the northern part of the county, more in Clearfield, Clinton, and Layton. I did not love the idea of living in those areas, but we started our search there anyway. We had decided on a certain amount that we wanted to spend on rent each month, and the places within that budget (which we felt was a lot for rent), were either in really sketchy areas or were too small for our family. We went looking one day and as we drove home, I was just so depressed thinking about the options we had. Nothing seemed right and it all just seemed so overwhelming. As we drove, Devin and I discussed the need to increase our budget so that we could look at the other end of the county (near Bountiful, where I had felt we should look). We decided that we'd do that and also look at places with one fewer bedroom. When we got home, we started the search again in the southern part of the county. We found a few good options and scheduled a time to go look at them. They were all in the upper range of our budget (the increased budget that is). We had looked at some places in Farmington, but felt that everything was too pricey. Anyway, as we looked online, we did find one place in Farmington that looked promising, but it almost seemed too good to be true. It looked nice, had decent square footage, and the rent was $400 less than what we were looking at with all these other places.

We visited a bunch of places in Bountiful and Layton on our second trip and ended at the place in Farmington. I immediately liked it and felt good about it. It seemed to be in a good neighborhood, was about the same size as our house, had an unfinished basement (a bonus for kids to play down there), and was remodeled. It was nothing fancy, but it was definitely adequate for our needs. As we were walking out, I asked the agent what we needed to do to sign the lease right then. Devin looked at me like I was nuts (the second time in as many weeks now), but I just felt like we could not let this place go. The rent alone was low enough that we could save a lot more money for the adoption. The agent told us that the owner had just lowered the rent too, because he'd had someone interested in renting it but that it fell through last minute, so he dropped the price to get it rented quickly. Coincidence again? I don't think so. Perfect timing and place for us? I think so. And, we have been extremely happy here, with wonderful and supportive neighbors, a wonderful area to live, etc. The other nice thing about this place is that it was by far the closest to Devin's work, since he works in Farmington. Going from a 2+ hour commute every day to a 5 minute commute has been pure bliss. It's been just perfect for our family and I feel so blessed that we have been watched over and guided in so many ways throughout this process. Is any of it not guided and directed? No. I know that it has been.

So. Better area? Check. Cheaper Rent? Check. Close to Devin's work? Check. Amazing neighbors? Check. How much more could we want? We feel very blessed with the way everything has all worked out.

We waited until we moved (July 1) to start the home study process. We had only been in our new place for a few weeks when I felt the urgency to get going. So, we started then. We chose an adoption provider from an international agency in Ogden and the assigned caseworker is someone I have known a long time since we've both been in the adoption business for a while. So, that was a pretty easy. Being on the other end of the home study process is always interesting. This time, we also had to complete full psychological testing, which was a very, um, special process.

The psych testing actually took less time than the home study. Devin and I went in for interviews together one day and then each went in for testing on separate days. The testing included a parenting profile, a mental health screen, a personality test, and an IQ test. The IQ test was by far the worst- it took like 3 hours. By the time I was done, I thought my brain was going to explode. I mean, I was in a tiny room with one woman asking me questions. No pressure. It was insane. Some of the tests I knew I was not doing so well in (like math story problems, no pen and paper), but I knew they'd be a piece of cake for Devin. And sure enough, when we got our results back, he'd done amazing in some categories that I didn't do so hot in and vice versa. In addition to the math story problems, there was number series, where she'd state a series of numbers to you and then you'd have to repeat them back and they got increasingly longer. Then you'd have to repeat them backwards, then put them in chronological order. No paper, remember. There were also verbal tests- word definitions, using words in a sentence, that kind of thing. There was a game with a cube that I hated-- there was a picture on the ipad that you then had to re-create using cubes and again it got increasingly harder. There was pictures that you had to find the missing items, symbol decoding, speed tests with writing symbols, and completing patterns. I am trying to think of what else...anyway, suffice it to say that it was an experience that I hope to never repeat! The good news is that Devin and I are equally as smart/dumb  as our IQ's were 3 points away from each other, which is a normal standard deviation (in other words, if we'd been given the test on different days, the scores could have been within 3 ish points of what we got, but not necessarily the same score). So, no one can hold over the other that he/she is smarter (but as of now, I am smarter since that day my score was 3 points higher..ha! Just kidding, honey! I won't tease you forever.)

Anyway, we received that written report rather quickly and then waited for the home study, which was delayed as you know by the Portuguese background check process. Now we have both reports and let me just tell you, we know more about ourselves than we ever wanted to know. It's really interesting reading about yourself in written report form. :) Now we just hope the government likes us and will allow us to move on to the next step in the process. I-800a is currently pending.

Now we're all caught up on the back story, since I told part 5 back in September. You can read it by clicking on that link if you missed it.

If I have missed anything or if anyone has questions, you know I am an open book. Please ask! Other than specific details about the child, which we will wait to share when we are officially matched, I think we can answer almost anything else. :)