Life in August

Well, apparently our summer came to a screeching halt as of late. That's probably due to the fact that I started a job. I took a job as a PRN social worker at a local hospital, for a few reasons:
A) I need supervision to start working toward my L. I am on the 10 year track, but hey...it's something. I have no supervision with my business and can work pretty independently with a CSW, but it would be nice to have supervision there too so that I can start counting those hours. Someday, someday.
B) I need a little "out" sometimes. Love, love, love my kids, but I know me and you know me and we all know that full-time, stay-at-home mom is not me. But what about the business? Yes, that is something, but that is mostly done from home. I interview each couple for about 3-4 hours in their home and the rest is done from the comfort of my bed or couch. So yeah, a little more out than that.
C) I have a hefty student loan (are you embarrassed that I'm discussing finances here on the blog? Don't be. I won't give you specifics) that I would just love to pay off sooner rather than later. My income can go toward that.
D) I love being a social worker and I love working in whatever capacity I can.

I honestly don't know why I feel the need to explain why I decided to take a job, but for some reason, I do, so there you go.

So, anyway, the month of August has consisted of doing training, which has been 3 times per week. That is more than I want to work ultimately, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. So far, loving the job. I like variety, seeing something new all the time, and more fast paced. I don't know that I will ever do a desk- therapist job. I can do 2-3 individual sessions in a row, but beyond that, no can do. It's too much at once. So, the hospital setting is quite good for me. There is a little bit of everything to do, including discharge planning, responding to psychiatric emergencies, counseling with families who have loved ones there/with loved ones about to die, assessing for needs in certain populations of patients, and being part of the trauma team, plus a whole bunch of things I am certain I don't know yet. The hospital I am working for is a trauma hospital and a social worker must respond to every trauma. So, I got my first pager, circa 1995. I was not even cool enough back then to have one, but I am now apparently. I can't even run the thing. Anyway, right now I am just following the other workers to train on the traumas too, but eventually, I'll be on at least once a week from 4 pm to 8 am the next morning. Wish me luck waking up in the middle of the night as we all know that's not my forte.

I had my first trauma the first week I was there and it was a horrific one. The worst the hospital has seen for a while, so apparently it was a good one to see first? I followed another worker and learned a lot. I won't go into details since of course that's hippa protected, but it was all over the news. The hospital did a grief group after for any worker who wanted to come because it affected a lot of them deeply. I went to the group too, but felt like I had handled my emotions pretty well. I did have a bunch of them associated with the whole process and I was really triggered thinking of being on the other end of that scenario with my Aunt Linda. However, I think I handled everything okay. I am not excited for the fact that people will have to go through such horrible things, but I am excited to be on the trauma team because I think I will be okay at it.

So anyway, that's what has caused the lack of exciting things to happen in August. The kids went to a babysitter that I found online, which is a whole different trauma story. Let's just say that babysitter didn't work out so well, however, we had her for the whole month because we didn't have any other options. I seriously love where we live, but I do miss Provo too. Part of that is because I felt secure there with a base of support people to fall back on, between family, neighbors, ward members, etc. Here, I have no one. I feel a little like I am drowning sometimes. It takes a while to build up that relationship with people where you feel comfortable asking for help, but I did eventually ask for help. I emailed the Relief Society President in the ward and asked if she knows of anyone who could help babysit my kids. Within a few days, I had four people contact me and say they'd love to help. I was so relieved. However, this is a ritzy ward (we are the poorest of the poor, for sure...) so I know they are volunteering as a favor to me, not because it's a reciprocal thing where I pay them and it helps them too, you know? That dynamic just doesn't really exist around here-- young couple with a kid or two who can use the extra income. Nope, not Provo anymore.

I was offered a part-time job at the hospital instead of PRN last week, but after thinking it over and looking at the babysitting situation, we decided it was best to turn it down. I don't feel good about having someone watch the kids 3x per week when it's really just as a favor to me. Hallie and Flor start school on Monday, so that will be nice, but still. So, I'll work the part-time schedule through Sept (they had a social worker quit right after I started) and then hopefully they'll have someone hired so I can go back to PRN. I don't think I will work more than 2x per week and some weeks not at all. I think it will work out well.

ANYWAY, holy drama. Apparently I needed to unload that here. Sad to see summer come to an end, but not really. :) I'm totally ready for the routine and structure of school. Bring it on (Monday!)