Throwback Thursday

One year ago: (yesterday)

Flor and I were left alone in Ecuador after Devin and the other two kids returned to the US on our original flights. We were too depressed to show our faces. I know I cried for at least 24 hours straight and I am sure Flor thought I was nuts.

So, I have yet to read through our entire Ecuador journey. I wrote nearly every day that we were there and there are tons of pictures of the journey, but for some reason, I have just not been able to bring myself to re-live the whole thing. Not that the whole experience was negative (though there were some negative parts), but I think it just brings up a lot of emotions for me. I get nostalgic for Ecuador and the simpler way of life (because I really do love Ecuador), but it also brings me back to a state of panic-- not having any control over our process, adjusting to a new child with extreme needs, and feeling alone (especially after Devin, Hallie, and Jace left.)

I also feel a lot of gratitude for what was done for us during that time. I know I only comprehend the tiniest amount of what people sacrificed for us. I asked Devin the other day how he possibly managed to go to work for three weeks without me here to watch the kids. I know countless neighbors and family members stepped up to help with caring for Jace and Hallie and others provided meals, frozen meals, and a new freezer for us. I am still so in awe of everything that was done for us. This is an example of the goodness of others at its best.

Looking at this picture, another reminder I have is that I CAN DO HARD THINGS. Staying in Ecuador for three weeks alone, managing the process, and flying to and from Guayaquil and then back home to the US all alone was a big deal for me. I am so grateful that Flor and I were able to stay at the OSSO house so that we had some company (though I think I was not very good company because I just remember being sad all the time). I am also so, so grateful for the Schinnerers, who were there with me, too. I saw them almost daily and they became dear friends to me. I remember the crisis of trying to get flights out of the country and just crying in their apartment. They were just there for me through everything. One of those types of friendships that will last forever, even though we have not seen each other since and may not for who knows how long.

In one sense, it feels so long ago. In another, I am back there in an instant, feeling the same things, remembering the sites and sounds, etc. Flor and I were there another 3 weeks after Devin and the kids got home, which was by far the toughest part of the whole thing. We came home February 25th, 2012. It is so crazy that it has almost been a year since Flor has been home with us. She has come so far. So, so far. I am proud of her progress and I am also proud of our progress as a family. We, together, have come a long, long way.