Faith

I know I said that I would post about Flor next, but something has been on my mind a little bit lately that I want to talk about....and it involves faith. So, if you aren't up for a religious post, feel free to skip and come on back next time.

I have always been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was baptized when I was eight years old and have always believed in the gospel. Even though the LDS Church was the church of my childhood, I can say that my true conversion happened the year my parents divorced. I was 15 at the time suddenly found myself needing somewhere to turn and not knowing where that was. With the help of an amazing seminary teacher who spent a lot of lunch hours talking and counseling with me from the scriptures, I found my own testimony of the Savior's atonement and his ability to help me in times of trial and pain. I can still remember those feelings that I had at the tender age of 15. I cannot deny the power that came then and comes now into my life as I study the scriptures and use the principles of the gospel to guide my life. I have always been blessed (much more than I deserve, I think) when I do what I know to be right. I have continued to live the gospel and blessings have continued to flow.

Right now, my church, the LDS Church, seems to be in the spotlight of the world like never before. Of course, much of it is because we have a Mormon running for President of the United States, but there are other things that seem to be propelling the church into the spotlight, too. With this focus on us, there have been a lot of articles online discussing the church and our beliefs. I am always intrigued by these articles because I want to see what is being said about the church that I love. I am usually pleasantly surprised by the accuracy of the articles and the positive feel. However, I am always saddened to see that the comments, by and large, are usually very negative. It feels like there are some people out there who spend a lot of time trolling around the internet looking for articles pertaining to the LDS Church and then posting negative comment after negative comment. This saddens me because I feel it is important to respect and love other people, regardless of their background and life choices, including religion, sexual orientation, color, nationality, etc. I really love reading about other religions as well and finding out how others live their faith. When I read an article about another religion, even if I didn't necessarily agree with what that religion believes, I usually end up thinking something like, "I am glad I was able to expand my views and learn about people who aren't just like me" instead of spending time criticizing and disparaging them. It really comes down to respect.

While this has been on my mind a lot, I think reading all the negative things out there has actually strengthened my faith because it has forced me to deal with some of these issues in my own mind and has helped me to turn back to my Heavenly Father for answers. A lot of the negativity seems to target Joseph Smith and his character and also the Book of Mormon and its' origins, plus women's roles in the church, Blacks and the priesthood, etc. Let me be honest with you here-- there are a lot of things that I openly admit that I don't fully understand. I don't have the answers to everything and there are some things that bother me more than others (the fact that I am a woman and don't hold the Priesthood has never bothered me or been a trial of faith for me, but the fact that blacks did not receive the Priesthood until 1978 is something I do not understand and have come to the conclusion that I will probably not understand in this life. I also have had to really do some soul-searching and praying to understand where I stand on the issue of homosexuality, but that's a whole different topic, so we won't go there). Anyway, a lot of the comments I see use name calling a lot and say that those of us who are members of the church are "brainwashed" and "clueless."  I am not naive to things that are said about these topics and can honestly say that I don't have all the answers when it comes to tricky parts of our church's past. I have been thinking about these things a lot lately and praying about them for a while. Yesterday, Devin and I read a conference talk together and some answers and feelings of peace just came for me then. It was from Elder Cook's talk from last General Conference and he put into words so well what I have been thinking and wishing I could put into words for a while (in fact, I have wanted to write a post like this for quite a while, but haven't dared. But now, since I have these awesome words to express my feelings for me, I am doing it.) So here it is:

"The essential doctrine of agency requires that a testimony of the restored gospel be based on faith rather than just external or scientific proof. Obsessive focus on things not yet fully revealed, such as how the virgin birth or the Resurrection of the Savior could have occurred or exactly how Joseph Smith translated our scriptures, will not be efficacious or yield spiritual progress. These are matters of faith. Ultimately, Moroni’s counsel to read and ponder and then ask God in all sincerity of heart, with real intent, to confirm scriptural truths by the witness of the Spirit is the answer.²² In addition, when we inculcate into our lives scriptural imperatives and live the gospel, we are blessed with the Spirit and taste of His goodness with feelings of joy, happiness, and especially peace.²³

Please understand that having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and keeping His commandments are and always will be the defining test of mortality. Above all else, each of us must realize that when one is tone-deaf to the music of faith, he or she is out of tune with the Spirit. As the prophet Nephi taught, “Ye have heard his voice … ; and he hath spoken unto you in a still small voice, but ye were past feeling, that ye could not feel his words.”²⁵

Our doctrine is clear; we are to be positive and of good cheer. We emphasize our faith, not our fears. We rejoice in the Lord’s assurance that He will stand by us and give us guidance and direction.²⁶ The Holy Ghost testifies to our hearts that we have a loving Father in Heaven, whose merciful plan for our redemption will be fulfilled in every aspect because of the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ."

Elder Quentin L. Cook, April General Conference "In Tune with the Music of Faith." (Full talk HERE)

I love this. LOVE this. It comes down to faith. Of course we will never have all the answers, but I have had that spiritual witness which is promised to all after I have read and prayed about the my church and my choice to participate fully in it. I have had a spiritual witness on many occasions in my life- too many to count, in fact. So, my choice is to heed the spiritual witness I have versus allowing the critics to creep in and tell me what to believe (or not to believe, in this case.) My faith is the most important thing in my life and I cannot deny the blessings and witness that have come to me when I do place my faith in Jesus Christ. I love the church and the goodness and richness it brings into my life. Sure, it can be hard sometimes to go to church just to have your kids scream their way through it, thus allowing me to catch about 2 minutes total of the 3 hours, yet, I strongly desire to be there every week, maybe not for what is said, but for the feeling and the Spirit that is there. This past Sunday, I don't really remember what we talked about during the meetings, but I remember coming home feeling uplifted and feeling the Spirit. For me, it comes down to whether I feel the church and the Book of Mormon (which has the subtitle "Another Testament of Jesus Christ" -I feel that that is true as it works hand in hand with the Bible) bring me closer to Christ or draw me away from Christ. I can say with a definite voice that they bring me closer to Christ and help me to be a better person. I still have many flaws, but I hate to think of what my life would be like without a testimony of God and a testimony of Jesus Christ and his Atonement.

I guess my take home message is this: what I hope is that people of differing religious backgrounds will offer me the respect to live the religion I choose, and I will do the same for them. I don't expect anyone to believe the same way I do, or to have the same exact testimony that I do. I respect and admire the choices of many of my friends to practice other religions. I just wish the world offered the same respect to us.

A few disclaimers on this:
*This post is NOT directed to anyone who actually reads my blog. I have felt nothing but respect and love from friends of mine who are not LDS. This comes from months of mounting frustrations about how people focus on the negative and slam our church where others are going to be influenced to think of the LDS Church as a cult, or worse. If someone wants to know about our church, good, bad, and all, I hope that they don't base their opinion on negativity that is spread around the internet or by ex- members of the church. I am an open book and happy to talk about my religion, even the difficult parts, with those who genuinely want to know and form an opinion.

*I know that the LDS Church is by NO MEANS the only church that is targeted and that has half-truths, lies, or defaming statements posted about it on a daily basis on the internet. This post is just based on my own experiences because I tend to read articles about my own religion.

*Please, please, be respectful in the comments here...in case some who hate my religion happen to find this post. I am almost certain that my little old blog is not going to be found by any that I am describing, but if it is, please be respectful of my own personal views and my freedom to express them here.