Perspective

So, the night that I wrote that last post, I got a text from my cousin Shawna saying that her sister's (my cousin Anneka, also a best friend of mine from high school) little boy Hunter had choked on a popcorn kernel and was fighting for his life in the hospital. Wow. That kind of news immediately sucked all my breath away and took me to my knees in prayers for them. I can't imagine the anguish they must have been feeling. I spend the rest of the night agonizing over the situation and wondering and praying for them. It has now been a few days, and luckily, Hunter is going to be fine. He went into surgery and they successfully removed the popcorn kernel.

This whole situation really put things into perspective for me. I feel like I was a little complain-y in the last post and that was not my intention. Hearing about what Anneka was going through made me feel a little silly for complaining about the car and what not. This is a safe place for me to vent my feelings, though, so it's going to stay, with this new addendum of added perspective,

I was asked last week to teach Relief Society the first week of November on a talk that President Uchtdorf gave in the last general conference. It is titled, "Grateful in Any Circumstances." 
Could there be a more timely talk for me? I don't think so. I read it on Sunday and just loved every word. If you need a pick-me-up, please, go read & enjoy. Life is really a matter of how we choose to view things and our attitude affects so much.

So, with the two lessons learned from Anneka's story & from President Uchtdorf, I really had a shift in perspective. I am choosing to view the new developments as a blessing and to trust in God's timing for our family. To finish up the car story:  I was so worried about how much the car was going to cost to fix. We went down Saturday, and my kind and lovely Uncle Lynn (I should find a picture to post- visuals are always good).

How about this one? A real gem. Uncle Lynn having driveway races with Hals- maybe a year ago? Super good uncle, I tell ya. 

Anyway, my kind and generous uncle helped us tow our car away from my client's house (sorry clients- & thanks for letting me keep my car there a few days!) to one of the very few auto shops that were open on a Saturday (note to auto shop owners: open on Saturdays and you'll be in booming business). They let us know right away that it was the fuel pump as we suspected and then dropped the big bomb of how much it was going to cost.....A lot.

But, to view the silver lining in this whole story & to share the shift in perspective: I realized on the way home that the amount we had just spent on the car (and taken from our adoption fund, because savings=adoption fund), was the exact amount we have been saving each month toward the adoption. And guess what we know we just "gained" in the adoption process? A month.

So, although neither of those things were really pleasant news this month, I am trusting in the Lord's timing in it all. Maybe there is a reason we need an extra month in the process. Maybe we'll see it some day and maybe we won't. But, I am trusting that He who knows all is in charge and is guiding us in this process.

The Backstory: Part 5

I have been documenting the process of our adoption journey here on my blog as drafts almost from the beginning. We aren't quite ready to publish them all, but I do feel the need today to express some things that have come along with part 5. Therefore, what I had written of part 5, plus a bunch of additions today, is coming now.

When Devin and I decided to start the adoption process again, we also decided that we weren't going to tell anyone about our plans for a while. We didn't know what "a while" meant, but we weren't going to share right away. The reason for this is because we didn't want to feel judged for our decision or to have people tell us their opinions about what we should do instead, or why it wasn't a good idea, or ask questions like "Have you considered...?" or "What if (fill in the blank)?" Examples: "Have you thought about how this might affect Hallie and Jace?" or "Have you considered how hard this is going to be?" or "Are you crazy?" Because the answer to all of those is YES-- we have thought about it and YES-- we know it will be difficult and YES- we may be crazy.

However, at the end of the day, we felt strongly guided to this decision, so no matter what happens, no matter how hard it is, we are still doing it because we feel that this is what we have been called to do. I'm not going to lie, I sometimes look around at other young families and wonder what it is about us that the Lord has asked us to do this, yet others who seem to have more money, more resources, or seem to have themselves together better than we do, are not called to this path. Because I really do view it that way- we've been called to build our family this way.

Because we felt so strongly about pursuing this path, we'll take what comes with it. Even the difficult times. If one of our biological kids happened to have a hard time down the road (or now), we would never consider giving up on them, or finding them a new family, or anything of the sort. The same is with Flor and it will be the same with this child. We made a commitment to Flor that we will be her family through good and bad and we will make the same commitment to this child.


So, to have any opinions that were unfavorable (even if the people meant well, which I know they ALL do), seemed more than we were ready to handle in the beginning, thus we decided to keep the decision to ourselves. This process started in early July and we had been talking about it all through June, just to give you an idea. And for any of you who know me, you know how hard it is for me to keep my mouth shut about things. I work through stress and difficulties (which is all this process is!) by talking about it with as many people as possible and writing about them (thus, the blog). So to not be able to do that was hard for me. We did have to have 4 people write reference letters for us early on in the home study process, so obviously those 4 people knew and I could talk to them, so that was helpful.

I can tell this is going to be a beast of a post. Moving on.

The decision to tell people came much earlier than we expected. I had had an especially difficult few weeks in regards to the adoption. For some reason, I was feeling an onslaught of negativity related to adoption in general and international/older child adoption in specific. I heard about some families disrupting their adoptions. I saw negative posts on Facebook. I read a negative news article. Some people I love and trust posted about a lot of negative things about their own adoption (which in and of itself is not bad- just came at the wrong time for me). I had hardly anyone to process this all with (see above-- my four people were getting sick of me), so I was in my head about it a lot. I spent two weeks with the thought "We are going to ruin our family and ruin our lives" running through my head. It was getting really bad and I couldn't seem to pull myself out of it.

That weekend, however, Heavenly Father sent me a beautiful message intended just for me and it came through my brother-in-law, Travis. We have an annual, one-day Perry family reunion each year. We play hard all day and at the end of the day, we usually have a family fireside. Travis was asked to give the fireside this year, probably because he is the most spiritual of us all. :) Really, it was because he is a Bishop in our church and he was asked to give some insights as to what he has learned in that position. Travis talked about many things, but one thing in particular that I know was meant for me. He talked about the internet and how Satan is now using the internet as his biggest tool to bring people down in these days. He talked about how when he was growing up, Satan was more obvious and people openly talked about Satan worshipping and things like that. Now, you don't hear about those things anymore. But what we do hear about is families being ripped apart by things like pornography, affairs from previous boyfriends/girlfriends that are reunited by social media, negativity toward Christians and those who are followers of Christ from behind the anonymity of a computer screen, etc. While he was not talking about what I had been through specifically in the weeks leading up to this family reunion, he was still talking exactly about what I had been going through. It was as if a lightning bolt hit me and I realized that all the negativity I was swimming in came from the internet. ALL of it. Satan was using his favorite tool to get me too. And it was working. I was feeling completely overwhelmed at the adoption idea and thinking that there was no way that it would turn out well, all because of what I had been reading online.

I came home and discussed my feelings with Devin and told him that I needed to stop seeking "support" online and get actual support from people in our lives who love us and care about us. It was then that we decided that it was time to start telling our families about our plans to adopt.We told all of our family members in person whenever possible and then let others know via phone. We waited a few weeks and then announced our decision here. By and large, the response has been very positive. There have been a few comments that stung- people suggesting that maybe it's a better idea to just have another biological child instead and others saying that they were unsure about our decision until they heard more about the back story. I don't feel like I should have to explain myself, though. What I'd rather have is people say, "I support the life choices that you've made for your family and I don't need any explanation or justification." That sort of comment makes me feel that people have faith in our ability to choose what we feel is best for ourselves. The opposite comment or offering alternative plans that they think may be better makes me feel a lack of people's confidence in us and our ability to make our own decisions. By and large, though, we received nothing but very positive support. That may have been because I was a blubbering, crying mess each time we told our families. They probably didn't dare say anything at that point... haha.

So, the reason I chose to write about this today is because it has been another one of those weeks where I can feel the negativity creeping in. I want to be vigilant to recognize it and squelch (is that a word?) it as fast as I can. It's been a hard and stressful week for me. I have had so much to do and it feels like little time to do it. In addition working a few days, I have had something every night this week- adoption appointments two nights, dinner with my friend another night, and checking out locations for business related trainings another night. None of this is bad, but it was just on top of a stressful week anyway, which made it worse. I also saw very little of Devin, which always contributes to my feeling of being overwhelmed. I do a lot from home to run my business & while I love it, it can get stressful when there are deadlines to meet, etc. And there was a lot of that this week.

So, on top of all this, we found out that Devin needed a background check from Portugal for our home study. Everything else is done and ready. We also got back our psychological testing results and reports this week (I'll have to write about that process some other time-- totally special (that's sarcasm if you can't sense it)). So to have this come up LAST MINUTE when literally everything else is done, was super frustrating. It's a long story about why we just found out we need it that I won't go into, but needless to say, it's not been pleasant news. We had to research ourselves how to get it done, so Devin contacted the consulate in San Francisco and they mailed him an application. It had to be sent back (read and filled out in Portuguese--and his Portuguese is rusty) with a US check for $26.44 AND 5 Euros. WHO DOES THAT?? So I called every bank in the valley to get 5 Euros and finally found one in SLC, so I drove to get them yesterday. Ugh. So we mailed that back in finally, but the lady said that it will probably take a month to come back. Not the news we wanted. Please pray for it to come back miraculously fast. This is not the last time I will ask you to pray for a miracle, either, I am pretty sure. Thanks in advance. :)

So that dumb background check stressed me out all day yesterday and then I went to Utah County to do a home study. I was with my clients from 6:30-9:30 pm and then I went to get into my car to drive my tired little self back (an hour + and I knew I had to work in the morning so I needed to get to bed) to find that my car would not start. WOULD NOT. Refused. We haven't had any problems with it at all, but of course it decided in Utah County, clear far away from Devin, to up and quit. I had to take the walk of shame back to my clients' front door and ask them to help me jump it. They were out there for a good half hour with me trying to get it to work. First baby that comes available is theirs-- you better bet your bottom dollar! I owe them. But, the car would still not start. I called my Uncle Lynn, who lives in the next town over and begged him to come rescue me. If I am looking at the positive side of the story, and I am trying to do that, it would be that he was actually home because he's been spending his weeks in SLC and staying there for work. But, he was home and came right over.He's incredibly helpful and supportive and has a heart of gold. I know he'd do anything for me  he often has. So he showed up and he tried to help us get it going, but no. It continued to refuse. So, we left the lovely car right there at my clients' house and Lynn kindly let me borrow his car to drive home. Huge blessing #2 in this story: He doesn't work all weekend (totally rare) and said that he could work on the car situation today. Well, he tried and guess what-- still dead. So, the car still sits in front of their house and we have no idea what is wrong with it. We'll have to go down and deal with that problem tomorrow. Gotta LOVE it. Ugh.

All this extra stress this week has kind of gotten me a little down again. I just kept thinking all day today, "How much is that car repair going to cost?? We're trying to save money here for a good cause...and yet it's going to cost a fortune, I just know it..." but I can see that it is just Satan trying to attack me again, to make me feel inadequate and that we can't do it. Why the attacks? Because he knows that we are doing a good thing and he wants to stop it. He wants nothing more than to destroy families, not build them. This is exactly contrary to his plan. So we press forward and put a big smile on our faces and tell Satan to shove it, because no matter how much the car repair costs, it's not going to deter us from following God's plan for this little one and for our family.

We'll make it. We'll get there. One stressful event and one stressful week at a time.

Continued prayers appreciated. Thanks for reading Part 5. :)

I Love to See the Temple

Today was the re-dedication of the Ogden, Utah LDS temple.  When a temple is dedicated or re-dedicated (Ogden got a complete face-lift and renovation, in progress since 2011), LDS members in the area get to participate in the dedication services by broadcast in our local churches. Prior to the dedication, an open house is held, where anyone in the public can go tour the temple. Hallie, Jace and I were able to go to the Ogden temple to see it. It is beautiful and the spirit was strong. 

I remember going to the Bountiful temple open house when I was younger, and those feelings stuck with me. Maybe that was the root of my testimony of temples. For as long as I can remember, the temple has always held such sacred feelings for me. When I was young, my favorite primary song was "I Love to See the Temple" and that statement is true today. I love that temples are everywhere and that each is incredible and beautiful, but not only that, a House of the Lord. 

For some reason, as I sat in the dedication services this morning, I felt especially tender and sweet feelings associated with temples, and particularly with being there to be sealed to Devin and then later to Flor. Children born to Devin and I biologically are considered "born in the covenant", meaning they are born sealed to us and there is no need to go to the Temple to have them sealed. Adopted children, however, get the special experience of going to the Temple to be sealed to their families. This means that we can stay together as a family unit even in the eternities. "And verily, verily, I say unto you, that whatsoever you seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven; and whatsoever you bind on earth, in my name and by my word, saith the Lord, it shall be eternally bound in the heavens." (D&C 132:46). 

My sealing to Devin and later our sealing to Flor are the most sacred experiences of my life. I have a strong testimony of the temple and the work that goes on there. I feel blessed that these feelings and testimony are something I have been given. I have always, even as a young child, had a great love for the temple and a testimony of its divinity and sacredness. It has provided rich blessings in my life and for that I am so grateful. 

In the temple, we learn of the Plan of Salvation, the role of the Savior in our lives, and how to return to our Heavenly Father. There are multiple teaching opportunities that we have there that culminate in the ultimate ordinance, which is the sealing. The temple is a place of peace and joy and a sanctuary from the world. 

One quote from this morning's dedication service that I loved was from Elder David. A Bednar, who is one of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles. He stated, " I can take light with me from the temple into a world that is increasingly hectic, dark, and confused." That is exactly how I feel, too, when leaving the temple. 

I felt prompted to share some of my feelings and my testimony associated with temples here, so there you go. 

Here are a few temples that have extra special significance in our lives: 

Idaho Falls Temple where Devin and I were married & sealed 

The Provo Temple, where Flor was sealed to us

The Guayaquil, Ecuador Temple. This was most certainly a beacon of light when Flor and I went to get her visa at the end of her long and trying adoption process. I didn't go inside because I had Flor with me and because we didn't have enough time, but just being able to visit and see it was enough to lift my spirits.

There it is again.

Idaho Falls again. So pretty, right along the river. LOVE that image of my hometown.

The Jordan River, Utah Temple. This is where I received my own endowments- when I went through the temple for the first time.

The Mount Timpanogos Utah Temple- where Devin received his endowments.

The Manti, Utah temple. This is Devin's "home" temple.

The new Ogden Temple

Provo again. No more beautiful feeling than to be surrounded by family and loved ones in the temple. 

There are now 143 temples in operation throughout the world, with 15 under construction, and 12 more announced. One is announced for Lisbon, Portugal, where Devin served his mission. He thinks going for the dedication is a good excuse to go back. :)

I also though this infographic was pretty cool:
http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormon-temples-currently-under-construction

News

We are thinking of and celebrating the birthday of a special little girl that turns 10 today.

She has been on our minds and in our hearts for a while now & so while we wish we could be celebrating with her in person this year, we are hopeful that next year she'll be able to be with us as an official member of our family.

We can't give a whole lot of details now since we have not officially been "matched" with her, but this is our big news. We are adopting again. We started the process over two months ago and are nearly ready with our home study and psychological testing reports (new requirement this time and worst.thing.ever...). Once those are complete and in hand (soon, please pray soon!), we'll move on to the next steps.

Starting on this path again was never in our own plans for ourselves, yet, our Heavenly Father has shown us clearly that this is the path He intends for us and for this sweet girl. We will share more of the story as time passes, but for now I will say that I have never in my life felt so directed to do something. Flor's adoption was a spiritually guided process, no doubt, but hers was also almost a given when Devin and I got married. Flor and I were kind of a package deal. :) After we finished her adoption, we thought we were good to go and didn't intend to adopt again. But, as I said, God has plans for us that are different than our own and we feel humbled and grateful to provide a home for another precious child of His.

This child is from Ecuador as well. We'll share more details, pictures, and such when we can. The other major question we've gotten as we've shared this news with our families is her developmental status. Is she delayed like Flor? No. She is developmentally much more on track, however, we do expect that she will have some delays given that she has lived in an orphanage for her entire life. She does speak, walk, participate in regular school, etc., though, so the delays she has will be of a different caliber than Flor's. In some ways, we also expect that this adoption will be more difficult than Flor's, as far as adjustment for this little girl. She will be cognizant and aware of the huge losses she's facing when she leaves the orphanage in a way that Flor wasn't. We know that this adoption is going to look a lot different than Flor's, and while we can't anticipate all the hard things she and the rest of us will go through, we do feel that we are much more prepared this time around.

So, we'd love to ask for your support and prayers as we embark on this crazy journey one more time!

Our Family Is Funny...or So They Think

So, Devin and I recently told our family that we had some news to share with them. The obvious choice is that I am pregnant. So we told them first thing that this is NOT the news.

Before we got a chance to tell them what it really is, we had some pretty wild guesses as to what it people thought it was. I thought I should document as some of they were just that great. Just a few of the many, many, out of control guesses.

*We were becoming polygamists
*We were getting our own TLC show
*I had a book deal (since when do I write books??)
*We got new tires for the van
*Devin now owns 51% of the Kroger Co. (that'd be great)
*I was getting my tubes tied
*We were flipping our duplex
*We bought a new lawnmower
*Hallie is skipping a grade
*Devin's going to quit his job and be Mr. Mom full-time
*We were starting our own religion
*Devin himself guessed that I was dropping the big D on him (not even close-- and he was just being funny to the family, he really did know the news already...of course. We make joint decisions in this family.)
*We won the lottery and decided to take everyone to Disneyland (I wish!)
*And...the top guess is that we were moving to Wisconsin. In fact, my grandma flat out believed this one because that's what she had been told. Nope, not moving to Wisconsin, just for the record.

Perry family news coming soon.

First Day of School 2014

The day before school started, the girls got Father's blessings from their sweet daddy. They also got homemade cinnamon rolls for their first day breakfast! Lucky girls. 

My mom came down for the first day of school to help me with the kids because I had all day hospital orientation that was mandatory. It was a dumb day to plan it, if you ask me, because it was the first day of school for not only all the kids in the area, but also for the colleges. So, we had some intern nurses that were at the orientation that were missing their first day of school. Nice. Anyway, my mom was kind enough to get the girls to school, meet their teachers, etc. It was super nice to have that assurance that the kids were fine. Thanks, mom!

Hallie is going to our local elementary and is in afternoon kindergarten. We have a ward friend who is in her class, so that is super nice so they can carpool together. Her mom is also the new one that I found to watch the kids while I work, so that works out well. Hallie's teacher is a bit on the older side, but from what I hear, the kids always love her, so that's great. She has a piano in her room, so I just have this little vision of her pounding on the piano while the kids are all gathered around her singing. That's sort of how I remember kindergarten, so why not?! 

Flor is bussed across town to another school that is better equipped to meet her needs. I met her teacher the week before and she seems great. However, I have been a little worried because Flor came from a class of 8 kids with 4 staff and this class has 13 kids and 3 staff. Can you imagine? 13 kids with needs like Flor and 3 staff? And....yeah. The first week was rough. The teacher wrote home nearly everyday with a laundry list of issues that she was having with Flor. Things such as, you know, playing in the toilet, throwing herself on the ground and not getting up all day, playing in her diaper, etc. etc. etc. Just a bunch of things that Flor NEVER does at home. I can only imagine how stretched thin this woman is and Flor is clearly running the show. I just kept telling her that she needs to be very firm with Flor and let her know she's serious right from the beginning or Flor will walk all over her from now on. So, hope that improves...I also went in one day to bring Flor her afternoon pill (that may help and we have to have a doctor's note for them to give it to her at school, which we don't have yet because our doctor is still in Utah county...Need to get on that ASAP) and talked to her teacher about the possibility of getting more help in the classroom. I can't see why she wouldn't ask for that since she is already feeling a bit frazzled, I think. The kids are entitled to the services they need, so I told her that if I need to make a request that Flor get an aide, I will. She said she'll handle it. So, we'll see. 

Flor also rides the bus for about an hour before school and about an hour after. Kind of long. I requested that she get a booster with restraints, otherwise, I know she'd be roaming up and down the aisles of the bus. Especially for a ride that long. They did do that, so that's nice. She has a male bus driver and a male aide on the bus & I am pretty sure she is loving life there. She is always blowing them kisses as she gets off the bus. Little flirt. 

Anyway, we are excited for the new school year. Pray with us that it goes well for both girls! 

KINDERGARTEN AND 4TH GRADE!! (which is which?!) :)