Life

I have a feeling that my blogging is going to suffer over the next, oh, say year or so, but I hope to keep it up when I can because it is a form of stress relief for me and a way to journal our lives, of course. 

Here are a bunch of pictures from various things we have done over the last month or so. This is probably going to be very boring for most of you, so feel free to skip it. I won't be offended (I won't even know!).

Freezer Meal Extravaganza:
Once very six months or so, my cousin Che' and I decide that we want to make a whole bunch of freezer meals...so we plan and prep for a week or so and then go to town ALL day in order to fill our freezers. Carlie came to help this time, which was amazing because an extra set of hands can be a HUGE difference. The ipad/tv/trampoline/chicken nuggets/candy entertained the kids (and Hallie even went to our neighbor's in our ward a block away to play and I didn't even know it until later that week when the mom told me that she had showed up...Yeah, mother of the year award!) and we just go go go all day. It is ALOT of work, but 73 meals later...I think it is wellllll worth it!

No need to use the fridge for anything else in the days prior...

I was in charge of meat this time...purchasing and pre-cooking what could be while Che' did all the shredding of cheese and cutting of vegetables ahead of time. I am telling you, we have this down to a science nowadays.

We tried some new recipes this time and this chicken pot pie freezer meal is a huge hit--- although the recipe we made (we quadruple each one and then we each get two of that meal) made like 15 pies instead of the 4 we planned on. Hilarious. Good thing it is yummy.

73 meals and a full freezer later...

 Visit from Jana/Grady:
Aunt Jana and cousin Grady came for a visit a few weekends ago and it was a blast to have them, even though the visit was short. The kids rode bikes (ours and our neighbors, they just roamed into their garage and got theirs too so that they could have variety...good thing we have nice neighbors!) while Jana and I chatted. It was fun getting some of her childhood/teenage memories of growing up in their home because Devin always says he doesn't remember much. Ha. It was interesting to hear about Devin and his old girlfriends from her perspective too. :) What are little sisters for?

Jace, Hallie, and Grady. Flor was sleeping at this point.

Isn't she such a good aunt to read to Hallie on demand? And those are the only pictures I have from the visit. Do forgive.

Camille's Baby Shower:

Camille was in town for her baby shower the first weekend in May. It also happened to be her birthday, so it was perfect timing to celebrate both. I also got to see and spend time with Kylee, my other BFF who came for the shower from Boise. Love these two and I am so excited for Camille to join the world of motherhood come August. I failed to take many decent pictures here, too, but oh well. 

I got to meet Orik, Kylee's little boy, for the first time!

BFFs forever.

 The weekend was extra great because I got to go to breakfast the next morning with Kasie, another high school friend and also mine and Mille's roommate our freshman year of college. She was in town for Education Week, so it as perfect for us to get together for a minute. I haven't seen Kasie in years it seems- since Hallie was a baby- and it was fantastic to see her.

Hallie's Preschool graduation, Round One:
Hallie has participated in a co-op pre-school for the past two years. It has been so great as a group of moms in the neighborhood and I rotate teaching. There are three different classes within our neighborhood based on age. Hallie and her friend Abby were the only ones from their class to come to the graduation, so they got to sing a song alone (each class had a little act, one did the pledge, one did a nursery rhyme, and Hallie and Abby sang "The Wheels on the Bus." They were very loud and enthusiastic. Haha). Hallie has one more year before kindergarten, but she is going to go to a regular preschool in the fall with her friend Brooklyn, mostly because she can use the extra time in school and because I will have zero time to teach.

Singing their song

Getting her diploma

All the kids that attended the graduation from all three classes

These two are great friends. Abby is our next door neighbor, and she  and her sister Hannah play with Hallie daily.

5th Annual Celebrating Adoption Walk/Birth Mother's Day:

The Saturday before Mother's Day is always Birth Mother's Day (yes, it is a real day!) and we love to celebrate by going to our local Families Supporting Adoption sponsored Celebrating Adoption Walk. The day is more meaningful now that we have a child who has a birth mother that we want to honor and remember. 

Letting our balloons go. It is always fun until one child throws a fit that they let their balloon go and they don't have another and another child refuses to let theirs go. To each their own.

They do races for kids by age group and the 4 year olds were supposed to run like 50 feet through a ribbon marking the end of the race. Well, these 4 year olds just kept on running and running and running and made it all the way around the track before they realized that the race had ended long ago. It as hilarious. Hallie was one of them that ran the whole way. With balloon, if that gives you any clue as to which child was the one who refused to let theirs go...

Face painting if always a huge hit. They also had a cupcake walk, candy toss, and  a snack station this year. So much fun.

Hello dirty face. It also appears that he has no hair in this picture. Haha.

Her heart face painting did not last long. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

And, that's it for now! Whew.

Happy Mother's Day to all my "Mothers"

There are many women who have raised me and influenced my life, but I want to say Happy Mother's Day to these ones in particular, who I feel have had the greatest role in shaping me into who I am today.

First of all, my own mom. My mom has been through a lot in life, but one thing that has always been clear is that she sacrificed a lot for us, her kids. I remember when I was in high school, my mom was in school for dental hygiene and I really don't think I even grasped at the time the kind of sacrifices she made for us. She got up at the crack of dawn in order to make breakfast for us before she had to leave for school and often she would put something in the crock pot for dinner. She would arrive home late after a long day at school and then stay up even later studying. I never heard her complain or become upset about her situation- she just silently went about taking care of us in the middle of everything else she had going on. My mom and I are still very close and I consider her one of my best friends and closest confidants. She is also the best grandma out there. She loves her grandkids and is always surprising them with little presents in the mail.

My step-mom, Sharon, has also been a really great example in my life. She is kind, caring, generous, and giving. She doesn't expect anything in return, but she is always thinking of ways to serve us and to give to our kids. My kids love visiting Grandma Sharon and Grandpa Dave's house because they are always willing to get on the floor and play with them. Sharon has been such a wonderful addition to our lives and we are really grateful for her influence. (ALSO- Happy birthday to my dad today!)

My mother-in-law, Colleen (but more often known as "mom" too). I don't know anyone more Christ-like. Devin's mom raised 8 children, one of whom is the amazing husband I have. Let me tell you, she raised him right. He is so kind and sweet to me and I know that he learned this from his parents. Devin's mom also influenced him to be a righteous leader in our home and for that I am very grateful. Devin's parents are moving near us very soon and I am excited to have them that much closer. Devin's mom is always willing to help us, no matter the personal cost or sacrifice, and she is such a wonderful example to me. 

My Grandma Shawna. This woman is a pillar of amazing-ness. I don't think I can be a fraction of the person my Grandma Shawna is. She does it all- and tried to teach it all to myself and my sister and cousins growing up- including cooking, baking, cleaning, sewing, family history work, temple work, etc. Grandma Shawna, even though getting up there in years, still attends the temple multiple times per week and does family history work in much of her spare time. I remember so fondly the times when we had "lessons" at Grandma's house. She made us feel special- my sister Jennifer, me, and our cousins Shawna and Anneka- because she took time with us to teach us how to cook, how to sew, and how to do other projects. I can't say that I developed many of those talents (she gave up on trying to teach me to sew with a straight stitch-- I got to use the zig zag always because I just didn't have the patience for the straight like the other girls), but I do remember the special times at her house as some of my most special memories growing up. 

My Grandma Donna. I have always had a special relationship with my grandma. She makes each of her grandkids feel like they are the most incredible person in the world. Just talking to her and hearing her call me "my Kimmy Kim" can brighten my day. I also remember fondly times with this Grandma- when she would take us to the McDonalds to play, or take us to the Sand Bar in St. Anthony and tell the other kids there that if they were mean to us, she would use her black belt in karate on them. :) We have so many annual traditions with Grandma that are so meaningful in my life, including her annual Easter Egg hunt with money instead of candy, our trips to the mall every Christmas to sit on Santa's lap, and now in our older years Witchapalooza, Neil Diamond concerts, etc. I love this woman.

And finally, my aunts Mari Ann and Sue. I have many aunts, but these two have had an incredible influence on my life. My Aunt Sue is the strongest person I know. She has endured more than any person should have to in one life, and yet she does it with faith and with a sense of humor that I admire. I love that she texts me every so often just to check in and chat about life. I love that I know that if I ever need anything at all, she will be there for me with no questions asked. I love that she has been an additional mother figure in my life and I am so grateful for her. Mari Ann is the first to text me or call me on birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. I can talk to her and confide in her about anything. I love that she is so sweet with my kids, too- whenever she is in town for work, she makes sure to call us to go swimming at her pool, or to have pizza and donuts. We couldn't ask for a better aunt. I also appreciate her example as a mother figure in my life. I am so blessed.

And...these three, for making me a mom. Love them.

I have an incredible husband. I know you already know that, but I am saying it again. Not only did he let me sleep in this morning (even though he was the one who worked till 1 am), but he woke up and made a feast for breakfast (and he had purchased all the food himself without my knowing!) and had flowers and my favorite candies waiting for me, along with handmade cards from each of the kids. What a sweet man. I love him so much. I count my blessings everyday that I have the husband that I do, because he treats me with so much kindness and love and I never have to doubt how he feels about me. 

Flor made this for me at school. I love it!!

He even bought donuts "just in case" as he said. :)

Happy Mother's Day, whether you are a mom yet or not. I am also remembering and honoring those today who have placed a child for adoption, the ultimate sacrifice in my mind, and those who long so much to have a child to hold and care for. I know this day can be so hard for some.

Thoughts on Motherhood

I have heard from two people recently that my blog is always "honest." I am not sure if they meant that as a good thing, but I do try to make it a point to be real- here and in my conversations with people. I don't want to paint a picture of life being rainbows and butterflies, because it's not. No one's is. There are good things and there are hard things, so why not be real about it all?

Anyway, with that lovely intro, how about some of my honest thoughts on motherhood?

I don't remember ever being that little girl who looked forward to being a mom one day. I always liked kids and did well with them, but I didn't have that dream of just having littles and living happily ever after. That's not to say that I just had dreams of growing up and going to work and furthering my career, because that's not it either. I think growing up I just viewed my life as a bunch of possibilities, not one where I was just going to be one thing. My patriarchal blessing makes specific mention of secular gifts that I have and speaks of education I will receive to enable me to become a woman of talent in my field. Interesting. It also makes mention of raising children and being a wife and mother. So far, my life has been a wonderful (and sometimes really difficult) combination of both.

Hallie came along faster than Devin and I initially planned, but I knew when I got pregnant with her that it was her time to come and that motherhood was going to be my first priority from then on. After her birth, I spent a lot of time comparing myself to other moms out there. I failed (and still do) in a lot of areas. I don't do crafts. I don't come up with fun projects. I don't plan play dates in the park. I don't have exorbitant amounts of patience (or any at all some days). I yell at my kids sometimes. I have to say a lot of "I'm sorry"s.  It is hard to compare yourself to others when you feel like you will never measure up. At times, it has also made me feel bad for my kids that they seem to have gotten the short end of the stick.

Here is some further truth. I enjoy working. I love the break that it gives me away from my kids. I go crazy on the days that I am home all day with them. Those days really make me even more impressed with all of you stay-at-home moms, especially those of you who seem to do it all with a smile on your faces. More often than not, I am counting down the minutes until naptime or bedtime. I let my kids watch TV sometimes just so I can have a breather.

But you know what? I have come to a place where I have accepted my version of a mom and that it's okay. My kids are going to be fine, even if they watch a little TV and eat non-organic food. I do the best I can, and even if that means that I work and leave them home with daddy or a babysitter sometimes, they are learning new skills and developing relationships they may not otherwise. The bottom line is that we are all doing the best we can--whatever that is--and that's okay.

The last, and most important, truth is that I would not trade my role as a mom for anything. I love each of my kids with such a fierce love that I cannot describe. All their ornery moments are erased when Jace giggles, or when Flor smiles, or when Hallie says, "I love you, Mama." All of that is what it is about. I had no idea that motherhood was going to be this hard. The initial number of children that I wanted has gone wayyyyy down as the reality of parenting has set in. :) It is hard and it is not glamorous, but having my specific three children has taught me more than I could have hoped. They are the ones that I need to shape me and to help me to be the person I need to be for them. I marvel at how Heavenly Father has blessed me with these incredible spirits.

I adore my Hallie girl. My first born. She can be the sweetest and most thoughtful girl. She has such a sensitive and caring personality. I see so much of myself in her. When I am upset with one of the other kids, she is quick to give him/her a hug and to tell them that she loves them. What a comforter. She always knows how to diffuse me by telling me that she loves me and sharing "secrets" with me. She is constantly telling me that I am the best mom ever, and there is no better confidence booster than that! I love that Hallie wants to do what is right and wants to come to know and be more like Jesus. She already has the beginnings of a really sweet testimony of prayer and following Jesus. I love it.

Florinda. I don't know where to even start with Flor. I have learned more about motherhood, love, forgiveness, and how to be happy with what I have in the last year and a half than ever before. All of this is attributed to Flor. I have no doubt that Flor has a spectacular spirit and I hope one day that I will be the type of person that she is. Flor is so quick to forgive and has a huge smile and hug for everyone she meets. She is persistent and doesn't give up, despite her limitations. I admire her so much and hope that I can be a good mom for her. I have been open about the challenges that having Flor have brought into our lives, but I hope no one ever takes that to mean that I regret our decision to adopt her. Let me be clear about that- I will NEVER regret having Flor as my child. I know she is mine. I know that I have things to learn from her and things to provide for her. I know that she was picked for our family specifically, just as Jace and Hallie were. I know that she came a different way, but she is our child, nonetheless. I can't imagine life without her.

Jacer- my sweet boy. Having him has opened my heart to another level of love. You know as parents how you always worry that you won't be able to love your second as much as your first? Well, that's just simply not true. I don't know how it is that I can love each of my kids in such individual ways, yet have the same amount of overflowing love for them. I love Jace's bright blue eyes, his giggle, the way he says things. I also love his requests for kisses and hugs and how he wants to cuddle each night before bed. I love that he is a mama's boy, even though I wish sometimes he wanted daddy to hold him at the store, too. :) I love that he follows his sisters around and wants to be like them. I love (almost) everything about this little boy.

And so, even though I haven't become the type of mom I used to think I should be, I am so grateful to be a mom. I am grateful that these gifts have been given to me. I am grateful for the other moms in my life who have set and continue to set examples for me. My cousin Carlie wrote this beautiful post on her blog that I loved- it summarizes my own feelings so well about the mom figures in my life.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone, whether you are the perfect mom, the one pleading everyday to become a mom, the not-so-great-but-trying-mom like me, or anything in between. Hope it's a great day.

Jace- 26 months

I feel like I was so much better about keeping these posts for Hallie when she was little. I definitely want to remember things about each child, so here is an attempt at being better!

Jace at 26 months:

*Jace is as energetic and strong-willed as ever. Whatever happened to that sweet quiet little boy that I imagined? Imagined is the key word. :) This boy is wild and has to have things his way. For example- grocery shopping means a serious circus because Jace refuses to sit in the cart. Even if he is buckled in, he can climb out and then thinks that he can just jump on down to the floor. Um, no. Plus, if he is in the cart, the entire store knows it for the duration of our trip. So, he generally "walks" (ahem, runs, hides, pulls things off shelves, breaks things...) during grocery shopping time. Kindergarten can't come soon enough. :)

*Jace still loves cars, trains, trucks, and anything else that moves. He can identify different kinds of trucks and anytime we are in the car, he is on a constant cycle of "bus!" "truck!" etc.

Lining books up so that he can use them as a path. This is a typical game for him, too. 

*Jace is technologically savvy. It's out of control how fast kids learn things. Hallie does not know how to turn on the Wii and turn on Netflix, but Jace does. He can navigate to any show he wants. What a booger.

Watching a show before bedtime with the neighbor kids (who we were babysitting that night)

*Jace is still a mama's boy, through and through. If he has a choice, he wants me to rock him, or to take him to bed, or to read to him. He still has quite the bedtime routine, wanting to be rocked and then sung to (although lately he has started to sing to me when I request-- super cute. I have a video I will try to upload), then he has to have his million blankies put on just right and his Mickey and his monkey tucked in with him. Jace is a tad bit OCD, kind of like my brother Clark was at this age. He has to have his socks on just right and whines if his hands are the least bit dirty. Interesting. Luckily, Clark grew out of his (I think, right Sparky?) so hopefully this will just be a phase.

I realize there are no pictures of Flor with Jace here, but that is because she is usually at school when we decide to take pictures apparently. 

*We have had some regression in the potty training department. He has been so great for the past two months or so and then all the sudden he has been wetting his pants three or more times per day. UGH! I knew it couldn't be that easy. He knows when he needs to use the potty, but it just seems like he gets too busy and doesn't want to tell me. He says something the second AFTER he has peed. So lovely, especially since starting next week, he will be with a babysitter part of the time (I start school and our schedule is going to be crazy). Gotta love it. I am not sure what to do. The past few days I have had him back in a diaper and just encouraged him to go every hour or so and then reward him with a treat when he does. He has stayed dry basically, so that's good. Potty training, potty training. Yuck.

Best friends

fish painting face from our local elementary school's spring carnival. 

*Jace's speech is continuing to develop. He uses simple sentences and is quite aware of what is going on around him. He can be quite funny, too. The other day, Devin came home and I told him the frustrations of Jace peeing his pants multiple times throughout the day. Devin asked him, "Jace, did you pee your diaper?" and Jace responded (with his pointer finger in the air), "No, Daddy, I pee my undies!" So proud of himself.

His new way of eating- no hands.

Having a Popsicle at Grandma and Grandpa's with cousin Brynlee

Helping in the yard at Grandma and Grandpa's

* I have noticed that I make much less effort with Jace than I did with Hallie in terms of teaching him the ABC's and numbers. He picks up on things sometimes and I am quite surprised what he knows. He can count to 5, skips a few, and then does 8, 9, 10 pretty consistently. Poor 2nd child. I was the 2nd child and I know exactly how it feels. :)

Bringing mommy a flower. What a stud. I love dandelions.

These two really do get along quite well. 

*Jace and Flor have a love/hate relationship. He is really sweet with her sometimes, and then is hitting her or pushing her the next. It is something we are constantly working on. The two apologize and give hugs no less than 1800 times per day, it seems. Jace has always been Flor's favorite in our family, I think because she loves babies, and he was a baby at the time she came into our family. But now that he is older, the two really get after each other. Siblings, through and through.

Jumping on the couch with Ethan, his friend from next door. Boys.

* I have noticed that Jace is much less dramatic than Hallie was at this age, but what he lacks in emotional drama, he makes up for in NOISE. He has to be constantly making noise of some kind- yelling, stomping, pounding the table with his fists, and we can't go a meal without him banging his fork on his plate throughout. We had Hallie's preschool class here the other day and one poor little boy said about every 3 seconds, "Can you be quiet? Can you be quiet, please?" to Jace. Haha.

Please don't mind my annoying voice in this last one.

 Love this little boy. He definitely has my heart.