Ecuador Day 50- Goodbye D,H,and J

Warning: this post may be emotionally charged. Read at your own risk.

I think one word sums up today really well: Sad. The day was sad all around. I can't even contain my emotions and honestly I can't even pinpoint all the things that I am feeling. I don't remember ever feeling such a profound sense of loneliness, especially when I am surrounded by people (and it's only day one!)

Flor and I woke up with everyone else at 3 am in order to get Devin and the kids to the airport. Hallie nearly bounced out of bed she was so excited. I am glad someone was...

We made it to the airport fine and I helped them check in and get the luggage checked before Flor and I said goodbye.

On their way home

I bawled like a baby kissing all three of them goodbye. Devin told me later that Hallie had a meltdown going through security because she finally realized that I really wasn't going with them (despite us telling her that to prepare her for days). Breaks my heart. Flor and I took a taxi home and went back to bed, though I can't say I really slept much.

Once up, we organized the house again and got ready for the day. Robin and Pablo came to our house at about 10 to help us move to the OSSO house. We so appreciate their support. We were able to find a taxi and miraculously, all of us plus all my stuff fit in just fine. We arrived at the house shortly after 11 and spent some time talking before Robin and Pablo left and Flor and I organized our things in our new home. I will post pictures of our new house later.

We had lunch with the OSSO volunteers and then Flor had a nap while I checked in with Devin and kids in Miami, called to get our cell phones back on, and talked to Devin's sisters on Skype. Everyone is being so great to take care of things back home. We have multiple people who have brought in groceries, frozen meals, etc. We are so grateful for the support and I know it will make things so much easier for Devin.

After her nap, Flor and I went out to find an ATM and then back to our old apartment to meet with the owner. We were supposed to get our $500 deposit back since we are moved out and didn't destroy the house. Well, Andres has been hemming and hawing about the deposit and what do you know? He didn't have the money today. He claims he will have it to me by the end of the week. We'll see. I sure hope so because $500 would be really helpful, what with all these flight changes, extra costs with staying, and flights to Guayaquil still coming.

This is how emotional I have been today...I cried leaving the apartment. I can't really even pinpoint why, other than maybe I was sad because that is where our whole family had been and where our memories of this trip together will be. I also cried while walking down the street with Flor when she wanted to step on these little pillar things they have on the sidewalk and jump off. That was Hallie's favorite thing to do- so that sent me into a fresh batch of tears.

I knew I needed to calm down before doing anything else, so Flor and I walked to the run down, rusted park near our old house so that I could get my crying out. We sat there in the grass for about an hour, just watching the cars drive by. Flor was content to sit in the grass, bless her heart. She has been very patient with me.

On our walk from the OSSO house, we passed this fountain in the middle of the roundabout. I couldn't resist taking a picture because it is where my OSSO group and I re-enacted the opening scene from FRIENDS. We hopped in, in our clothes, and took a bunch of pictures with umbrellas. Fun memory.

At the park. Neither of us were feeling up to having pictures of our face taken.

During the time in the park, I again attempted to call MJ about a hundred times and go no response. See a theme here? The lack of communication just frustrates me to no end sometimes. I finally called Fabiola, the lawyer, to see if she knows about anything going on. She had no news. I told her that I had a card and some pictures from court for the judge and asked if she thought it would be okay to take them to the court myself. She said she thought that would be fine, so after sufficiently calming myself (don't even ask what I looked like at this point. I didn't even care), Flor and I took a taxi to the courthouse. I walked right in. The secretary said that he would give the card to the Judge. Even though it is a small thing, I hope that it may soften her heart a little bit (more on that in a minute).

We left the courthouse and I started crying again (anyone see a theme here?) so Flor and I walked across the street to the Carolina Park, where I could again calm myself. While there Maria Dolores called to check on us, so that was a nice distraction. We calmed (and by we I mean me, poor Flor probably thinks I am cuckoo by now) down and took another taxi home.

The evening has been good for me-- I have spent it talking to the OSSO volunteers, Grace, and the directors here. I think they will all be a nice distraction. However, the distraction was short lived as I came down to an email from MJ and Jaci saying that the Judge "promised" she will get the decree done tomorrow for us, but that means we have the 3 day waiting period (which I guess cannot be waived, even though we were told before it could be) on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. That means nothing will happen this week and I will be lucky to get home the end of next week. It is honestly so depressing. I don't want to have been here 9 weeks by the time we leave.

My grief for myself was short lived as I got a phone call from Robin this evening. She said that she and Jim drew our same judge (judge 6) and that despite MJ's pleadings and letting the judge know how long they have been here with no progress in their case, the judge said that she already granted one favor, and that was for us to come to court earlier than planned. I feel so horrible about this. This likely means that they will be going to court next week if lucky, but more likely the next week- when the judge can "squeeze them in" (never mind that the whole finalization process takes 15 minutes) and that their decree will be probably two weeks after that, according to how slow she has been with ours. She takes the full extent of time that she can with her cases. I just wish she had a little bit more compassion. I know that I can't make her see how difficult this is for us to be here for so long when we have families and lives at home, but I wish I could. I wish there was something we could do to soften her heart. Please pray for the Schinnerers in particular, as they are looking at way too much time here by the time all is said and done. They have endured so much during this process and my heart just breaks for them. I wish there was something more that I could do.

I talked to Devin and the kids again while they were at LAX awaiting their next flight. Just talking to Hallie sent me over the edge again. Her cute little voice, her "I love you, mom!"...too much. I could also hear Jacer in the background and that made me sad too. I love that bub.

The one piece of solace that I have right now is that I have Flor. She means the world to me and I know this journey, however horrible and rocky, is all worth it. I have waited 6 years for her to be a part of my life again, and now I get these next few weeks to spend with just her. We will make the most of it, but that doesn't mean we won't be sad about missing the rest of our family at home.

Tomorrow is a new day-- and hopefully a happier one around here.