Ecuador Day 9

Today was rather low-key (boring, if you will). We managed to make it to the Mega-Maxi even before it opened. Apparently they don't open until 10 and we got there at 9:30. Such a life we have! So, we roamed the neighborhood until it was time to open. We picked up what we needed and made it home by 11. Getting home was so tiring today for some reason. Granted, it is uphill and hauling three kids and groceries is tough, but still. We looked up the elevation in Quito yesterday and for anyone that cares, it is 9200 feet above sea level here. So, yes, I think we get winded faster!

After lunch and naps, we were able to Skype with a lot of people, which is so nice because it makes me feel connected to family back home. We Skyped with Grandma and Grandpa Perry, Devin's sister Alisa, my sister Jennifer, and my cousin Che', who was at her mom's house with a huge crowd of people from the family. So, that was really great. After that, we made a trip to a park just up the road from us. It is up a little hill, so we couldn't really see it from the road....but...it turned out to be pretty awesome:

Yes...rusted and all. Didn't stop Hallie from really enjoying herself. Maybe we should be worried about all that rust? I think we will try for another park from here on out!

I took this picture on the way home from the park. This is where trash is kept. It is picked up every Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday. I don't envy the people who have that job...

The afternoon was lazy and involved toys, a movie, coloring, and reading. Devin then cooked us a spectacular dinner-- right up there with our Christmas dinner-- of steak, roasted potatoes, grilled pineapple, and fresh vegetables. Delicious. I think we are finally starting to figure out the eating thing here. We'll see.

The kids all playing together. Such a great sight! This is Flor's room. Hallie is now in our room on an air mattress and Jace is in the hall in a pack-n-play. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Having any of the kids in together means that when one wakes up they all do and we would rather some sleep in than none.

Cute Flor. This is her bear that we got her when we first went to see her at the orphanage. She has to sleep with it now.

Flor and Hallie in their matching Jammies (both HUGE on them!) during scripture study with Daddy. 

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday is the huge packet of information we got from Pamela yesterday on Flor. We have original documents for all of her medical reports, psychological reports, an ID card for Ecuador, and reports from the orphanage. This is all so great for us as we will need it when we get home. We have gotten bits and pieces in the past, but this is everything.

I sort of analyzed this experience so far with my cousin Che' last night and I thought I would write some of my thoughts here, too. I think that I was so excited and anxious during the process of getting to this point that I never really stopped to think about how bonding would look like when we got here. Of course I knew that I love this little girl and that I we have had the confirmation repeatedly that we are doing the right thing by bringing her into our family, but I didn't fully visualize what it would be like to actually have her and blend her into our family. I think that things have been really great so far, and we are blessed in that way, but the process is totally different than bringing a new baby into our family. The baby comes with no history, no background, nothing but a fresh new life ahead of them. Devin and I have been responsible for the raising of Hallie and Jace and have brought them to the point that they are in their lives. That is not to say that there aren't outside influences, there are; but we have been their primary caregivers and in charge of helping them learn, grow, and develop. With Flor, despite my longings to have her earlier in her life, the situation is different. She has only known orphanage settings during her almost seven years on this Earth. She comes with a whole history that Devin and I can't ever possibly fully know. She has a set of behaviors developed from her past that will be more difficult to change as she has kept them with her during the past seven  years. She has definite coping mechanisms that I can see come from being one of many children being taken care of at once. For example, she is prone to hitting and pulling hair when she does not get something that she wants. She also has the self-soothing behaviors of sucking and rocking that have served as comforters to her to this point in her life. Not to say that she has not had any comforters; she has, but she has never had the consistency that comes with a family and with a mom and a dad to provide the love and support that she needs. All of this, plus much more, combines to make Flor who she is now. We can't go and change the past, but can only deal with the here and now while looking to the future.

The bottom line is that this type of situation is definitely going to make bonding more difficult. Now, before anyone freaks out, I just want to assure you that all is well and that I feel both Devin and I are bonding well with Flor. It's just not the instantaneous bond someone with a brand new baby usually has. We have transplanted this little girl into our family and we really are still learning about her. We don't know what she likes, what she doesn't like, how best to discipline her, what her fears are, what comforts her, etc. But, we are learning.

I feel like every day has been an improvement on the last since Flor has been living with us. We are starting to get how she "ticks" and can respond to her accordingly. One thing that Pamela mentioned to us a few times is that Flor likes being a baby and acting like a baby, though she is not. Devin and I definitely think this is true. She is capable of much more than she is doing. For example, potty training. Flor has gone to the bathroom for us a few times and can remain dry for hours on end, however, she really likes to wear diapers. We aren't going to take potty training head-on while here, but hopefully shortly after we get home, we can work on this more.

Flor has also been trying to test limits with us right from the start, though we have since figured out that she knows better with most things. We have decided to treat her like a little girl, not a baby, and to respond quickly to every incident of "acting out." For example, she likes to throw objects, even though she knows that she is not supposed to. As we have quickly removed her from the situation every time after she throws something and put her into a short "time-out" in her bed, we have noticed improvements in her behavior as she is recognizing that she can't get away with things. So, as I said, each day is an improvement on the last, and each day I feel like we know more about our little girl.

Also, another little clarifier...though I feel that bonding and love are related, I also feel that they are different things. I love Flor and have for six years. She holds a deep and important place in my heart. Despite having missed six years of her life, the same love I have for Hallie and Jace overwhelmed me when I first saw her again and continues to grow. I know that there will continue to be ups and downs in the bonding process with Flor, but my love for her is unchanging.

Did I mention that our official bonding period is over? Well it is. Supposedly we passed. So yay for that! Prayers for a quick turn around on the reports so that we can get a court date sooner rather than later would be great!