Ecuador Day 13

Today was a very important day. It marks the 6th anniversary of when this journey all began. I spent New Year's Eve 2005 in the hospital with Flor and that night changed my life and the life of my family. Here we are now, six years later, in her home country adopting her. Wow.

Today was also special in that we got to return to SVP, the orphanage where Flor was residing (when not in the hospital) during my time here. SVP holds a large corner of my heart. I learned a lot of lessons there and have many wonderful memories. The experiences there changed my perspective on life and I hope have helped shape who I have become. I was so excited to go, yet when we got into the car and started driving, I started feeling really nostalgic too. Just driving there and taking the same route that we would take every single day for three months was enough to make me a little bit sad.

We were able to go with the Broaddus family to the orphanage, which was so great. Their Alison spent her first two years at SVP as well.

See this? It means nothing to most of you, but it is a sight we would see daily on the drive. This right here is what I think of when I think of Quito. Houses built into a hill.

And here we are! SVP. So meaningful to me. We were greeted by Sor Mayra, who was so gracious and kind. She took us on a tour of the orphanage and walked us around as we gave handmade prayer bears to each of the children in the casas. The Broaddus family had 49 of these bears, which we delivered to each of the children. It was very special.

The nuns requested that we not take any pictures of the children, so that is why they are missing. Here is the play area there-- it seems to have been added to since I was there!

SVP has two dogs. Jace was loving them. Flor, not so much!

This dog's name is Ashley, which I thought was funny. I told Stephanie that one of the most famous "chicas de OSSO" is Ashley and that I bet they named her after her. No sooner had I said that than Sor Mayra told me that she was named after "Chica de OSSO Ashley" haha! Ash, did you know you have a dog named after you?

Famous little hill at SVP. Flor and I...6 years to the day from when it all started. Love it.

The kids, Devin, and Stephanie swinging while we waited for the casa kids to finish their lunch. We sort of came at a bad time as the kids were eating and the babies were all asleep. But, we stayed long enough to be able to see them when they woke up.

During the time we were delivering the bears to each of the casas, I was looking anxiously into the face of each child who appeared to be 6-9 years old (ish) to see if they were one of my "babies." Most of the children in the casas were between 3-5 years old, but there were a few older. In one casa, I immediately spotted a face that I knew. M. Our sweet M! She always reminds me of my friend Beth, as she would always sing to her a song by the Beatles. I was so excited to see her! She is so big, but looks the exact same. She is 8 years old now. She talked to me for a minute and I explained to Sor Mayra and the nun in her house that I remembered her from my time here. Sor Catalina gave me permission to take a picture with her, which I did, but I won't post here as Ecuador has privacy laws regarding orphans pictures being posted. Suffice it to say, seeing M made the trip for me. She seems to be happy and doing well! I was also happy to not see any of the other kids as it most likely means that they have returned to their birth families or have been adopted, which is great news!

After the tour of the casas, we went into the nun's offices to unload the donations we brought. Thank you all who gave things for the children, the nuns were very grateful! We were waiting for the babies to wake up in the cuna, so spent some time talking to Sor Catalina. She is the only nun I recognized as she has been there since I was there. She was so friendly and so talkative! She remembered both Alison and Flor, which was great. She is actually the one who dictated Flor's Report of Adoptability to the Judge in 2008 when Flor was declared officially abandoned and available for adoption. I don't know if she remembers that much, but we have the report now and I just read it the other day. I thought it was interesting that she was the one who dictated it as Flor moved out of SVP in 2006.

Sweet Sor Catalina with Flor. Flor was about done at this point as it was way past her nap-time. Can you tell?

Sor Catalina thought that Jace was just "so cute!" and she wanted to hold him. Pretty soon, she disappeared with him and then returned empty handed. She just raved on and on about how cute he is and about how "sociable" he is. She then led me into a back room, where she had left him with two other nuns, (Sor Alba in the front, can't remember the other's name) as they too thought he was so cute. We got the "he resembles a doll!" comment repeatedly too. Oh Jacer, such a stud. He is getting quite the attention on this trip! They couldn't believe he is only 10 months old as he is "so fat!"

We then were led upstairs into the cuna. My heart nearly stopped beating, I was so anxious going in. I can't honestly describe the feelings I have for this place.

Hallie in the hallway of the cuna.

Sala Tres playroom- which has been updated quite a bit since I was there!

Sala Dos playroom- also updated with new toys and stuff. Probably good since it has been six years since I have been there!

This is Naomi, one of my favorite workers. Well, let's be honest, my favorite. So I was really happy that she was still working there and that she was on shift that day! She too loved Jace. She also ooohed and ahhhed over Devin and told me how "guapo" she thinks he is. She was very impressed with my choice in spouses. :)

Naomi put Jace in the kids' swing outside and though it was rather hilarious because he is so big in there.

This is Fabiola, another one of the workers who has been there since I was there. I didn't get a picture of Austellia, darn it. She is so sweet. All the workers also remembered Flor and Alison. Fabiola asked if I knew that Flor has special needs before we got here to adopt her. I assured her that I knew that even back 6 years ago when I was with her at SVP. Naomi was particularly cute with Alison. She must have some fond memories of her. I was really surprised actually that they all remembered Alison and Flor. I mean, really, how many kids do you think they have seen go through there in their days? Too many to count!

SVP also got this new ball pit! Fun! Flor liked it. She particularly liked to throw the balls.

We stayed just to see the kids waking up from their naps. I helped in Sala Dos for a minute until the OSSO volunteers arrived. That was really special for me. Hallie came in with me and went from crib to crib as the babies were waiting to have their diapers changed and would say "hi baby! It's okay baby! You are okay!" even though none of them were crying. It was cute of her. We talked to some of the OSSO volunteers for a minute-- first day for some of them!-- and then made our exit as our kids were super tired and we were just adding chaos to the cuna with all of our kids.

On the way out, we went to say goodbye to Sor Catalina and found her outside with the casa kids dancing like crazy to Lady Gaga, which was blasting through the place. It was hilarious. I remember from my time with OSSO that we had the nuns and workers over to our house for a party one night and Sor Catalina was a crazy dancer (ha, look, I even have a post about it!). So fun. I said goodbye to Mishelle as well. She was really sweet and kept giving Hallie and Jace kisses when I told her they were my children. Flor was off robbing some child of his push bike at the time...

In honor of New Year's, the orphanage is even getting in on the burning of the doll action. They had a bunch lined up on the sidewalk that I assume they are going to burn, plus they had these three, plus nun, hanging out the window. Awesome. Alison accidentally knocked the nun out of the window when we were walking out of the cuna and then once downstairs picked it up and was playing with it. haha, oops.

Today was honestly so wonderful. This has been the best day for me personally since our arrival, minus the day we were reunited with Flor. Everything has just come a full circle and it was so perfect. I loved sharing the place that is so near and dear to me with my husband and my children.

On another note:

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!!!

with love, 

from the Perry family

Flor

Hallie

Jace 

                     (can you tell we had pizza for dinner? For celebrating the New Year, you know)

and Devin and Kim (Yes my hair is crazy. Just forgive me and move on)

We love you and are so grateful for all your love and support during this adoption process!

Ecuador Day 12

Today was centered around replenishing the food in our house. Luckily, Jace slept in until 6 (I can't believe I am saying "luckily" with that sentence as his usual waking time at home is between 7:30 and 8. But, 6 is certainly better than 5!) I really shouldn't complain either, because Devin woke up with him and I slept until 7. We remembered that the Megamaxi doesn't open until 10, so we went after that. This plaze is a ZOO...seriously. Have a look:

And this picture doesn't even do it justice. 36 check stands open, and all in use with huge lines. Part of it probably has to do with New Years, but the place is always busy when we go.

After lunch and naps, we took another trip to the Santa Clara Market for fruits and vegetables. We love the market scene and let me tell you, the ladies selling their produce there sure love Jace. At one point, while I was trying to tell one woman which vegetables that we wanted, a group of at least five others was gathered around us oohing and ahhing over Jace and his cuteness. We had quite a few today tell us that he resembles a doll. haha. They just aren't used to the white ones, I guess. There was another lady who gave Hallie and Jace both a piece of fruit for free and then as an after-thought (like 3 minutes later) offered one to Flor, too. Poor thing. She just doesn't get the same type of attention here.

On the way home, we also stopped at a bakery to replenish our bread supply. For some reason, we had super chatty taxi drivers both on the way to the market and on the way back. They both were telling us about the New Year's traditions here (burning the dolls) and were so shocked to hear that that is not a way we celebrate in the US. One concluded, "So I guess you don't celebrate there at all, then." I told him we still have parties and such, just no burning dolls on the street. The 2nd taxi driver also told me "You understand Spanish very well!" but no comment about my speaking. haha. It is pretty rough.

The afternoon was spent cleaning our fruit and veggie supply while Devin and Hallie ran back to the Mega for a blender. The owner of our apartment, Andres, is going to find surprise after surprise here when he moves back in. We have basically bought everything for the kitchen, plus towels, blankets, etc. We decided the blender was necessary so that we can make smoothies with all of our fresh fruit. We had one tonight with mora berries and it was delicious. I think I will make an avocado milkshake tomorrow. I love them. Devin, not so much.

The array on the process of being cleaned.

Hallie after her smoothie. Apparently she enjoyed it some?

The days have started to go faster here. We have decided that we need to have a plan every day in order to keep busy. We hope to make one "larger" trip every week or so, but each day get out still, either to the store, to the park, or somewhere. This week has gone by a lot faster than the last. And honestly, we feel like being here right now is a blessing, versus returning right away after getting Flor. We are adjusting to her and getting to know her basically while we are isolated. We know few people around here and are just functioning as our own little unit. Devin and I are always together- and we aren't even sick of each other yet! (That's a joke. I love having him around and always miss him when he is at work, etc.) But, it has been nice for us to be able to handle parenting three kids together for this first little while. We also feel it is a blessing for Flor to adjust to us and us to her without a lot of outside influences around. Then, by the end of the 6 or 7 weeks we are here, we will be more "expert" on her and able to parent her better amidst the challenge of her adjusting to a new home, new school, new family, new neighbors, etc. I can see the good in it being this way, for sure.

Already we are seeing a lot of progress with Flor. She is a very sweet and loving little girl. She wants to please us and is responding well to our parenting thus far. Her "time outs" are becoming far less frequent as she has learned what is okay and what is not okay. One thing we have really made an effort on with her is eating her food more slowly. She is used to just shoveling food into her mouth as soon as it is before her, but we are sitting with her while she eats her meals and encouraging her to eat slowly, swallow, and use her utensils (versus her hands) as she eats. She has made a lot of progress in this area and the floor can show for it after each meal (way less mess generally).

Another area we are working on is potty-training. Like I said, we are not taking this head on, but we are encouraging her to sit on the potty every few hours and attempt to go. She has done it at least once per day for us the last few days, which is great. We have also had her in underwear twice in the afternoon and she can stay dry for hours on end. So, yes, she is ready, though she doesn't want to be! We have taught her some sign language and she has picked up on most signs quickly, but the one she refuses to learn is "bathroom" and we are pretty sure it is because she knows that when she learns it, she will be responsible for it. That little turkey. Oh well, we are excited to see the positive steps forward in her.

It feels more and more each day like she has been with us forever, just like it feels like when we have added a new baby to our lives. All the sudden, one day, you sit and try to imagine and remember what life was like before this special spirit came into your lives, and each day it is harder and harder to do. That is how I feel with Flor. She has only lived with us now for one week (crazy that it's only been one week!), but it feels like she has been a part of us for much longer. She just belongs.

Well, that's it for now. Happy weekend everyone!

Ecuador Day 11

Lot's of pictures today from our activity of the day- the Equator.  That was our afternoon activity, after a long morning here at the apartment. Jace decided to wake up about 5 am (he is progressively getting earlier), which meant that we were all up by 6 ish. We had breakfast and baths and then had naps at 8 am. Devin and I at least napped...not sure about the kids. What good parents we are.

We played, watched Tangled, and Skyped with quite a few people (thank goodness for Skype, seriously, it is like our daily sanity! Thank you family for caring about us and wanting to talk to us during this crazy journey!) before lunch and naps. The kids all slept well, luckily (minus Hallie- she doesn't nap!)

After lunch, we left to go to the Mitad Del Mundo- or the Center of the Earth. We have felt a little cooped up lately, so it was nice to get out and have an all-afternoon activity versus just little walks around the neighborhood and to local parks.

I will narrate our journey with pictures....

On the way to the Equator, we passed a ton of these dolls being sold on the side of the road. This is in preparation for New Year's, where I believe they burn them on the streets. I was here for New Year's Eve in 2005, but I spent that night with Flor in the hospital. I remember the other volunteers telling me about watching these things burn in the streets to celebrate the new year. Crazy. Maybe we should buy one!

Our first stop was the "fake" equator. This is the one that gets all the hype. It has a big museum and a large ball monument to mark the equator. However, it was discovered 15 years ago (GPS) that this equator line is not accurate at all. The real line is actually to the north a bit. However, when you tell a taxi driver that you want to go to the equator, this is where they take you. So you would never know the difference unless you continue on up the road a bit to the actual (little) museum place where the real equator is. We enjoyed our time here, but Hallie mostly enjoyed the fun playground areas they have.

FAKE. Oh well, it looks good anyway, right?

Here is the huge monument marking the spot. I have fond memories of this place from my time with OSSO. We were funny and had some great poses back in the day on those stairs up there. Maybe I should get some of those pictures out. Anyway, Hallie took this gem of a photo herself. How's that for talent? haha.

Again, the play areas were a hit. Hallie and Flor played together in this tire swing for a while, which was great.

Sorry- it was windy. But cute of Flor nonetheless.

It looked like it was going to rain, so we stopped in one of the many little restaurants they had inside the Mitad del Mundo for some ice cream and shakes. Figure this out...you could get a whole meal of hamburger, fries, and drink for $1.50, but a milk shake (very liquidy) cost $2.50. Our mistake. Next time we will go with a meal! Just kidding...

The shake were delicious nonetheless. Devin kindly shared with Jace by dipping his binky into it occasionally,.

Flor got an empanada instead (remember the no sugar thing?) She was quite happy with it.

Onto the next "real" equator! We almost gave up on it because I remembered it was down the street, but a taxi driver pointed us down the wrong road and we ended up going by a circus instead before turning around and finding the real one.

We got a tour at the real equator. They gave us some history of some of the groups native to Ecuador, including the ones who shrink heads (yes, still) and the ones who only go naked and spear animals and each other with extremely long spears. These groups live in the Amazon region and are mostly isolated. The Woarani people number 4000 (the ones who use spears and blow guns). This is a real shrunken head of a 12 year old boy. Yikes.

Here we are on the actual equator! Wahoo! We made it. My third time here, but Devin and the kids' first time.

We got to do quite a few experiments on the line. First, water. Water drains exactly down with no spiral at all right on the equator. We then moved the basin to the south a few feet, and the water clearly spins clockwise. On the north side, the water clearly spins counter-clockwise. Very interesting, eh?

We also all got to attempt balancing an egg on a nail right on the equator. It is much more easily done right on the line than elsewhere, as seen here. None of us could manage it though! The guide did it in like 2 seconds.

Hallie wanted a turn too. She was unsuccessful.

We also did some strength experiments. Off the line, the guide tried to pry open Devin's fingers and could not. She also had him hold his hands, clutched together, above his head, and pulled down on them to see if she could break them open. She couldn't. However, right on the line, she could easily do both. It was very interesting to watch! She also had me try to walk in a straight line on the equator with my arms straight out on each side and with my eyes closed. It was impossible to do; I could feel the forces from both sides pulling me one direction or another. But, a few feet off the line, it was much easier to walk in the straight line with my eyes closed. All fun and interesting experiments on the equator!

 We definitely enjoyed the second, real equator more than the first, though it is much smaller and rather hidden. It was fun and interesting for us. I recommend it to all who happen to come to Ecuador (we are still open for visitors...so if you come, we will take you! Great incentive, I know!)

One thing I kept forgetting to answer is about Flor's clothes and her sizes. Hay, you reminded me, so thanks! We brought all of Flor's clothes with us. At the orphanage, the clothes are all kind of community property and they share. I was rather surprised at how cute they dress the kids, though. I think they have a lot of the clothes donated from the United States as they are Carters, Children's Place, etc. and I haven't seen any of those types of stores around here. We were never told Flor's sizes so we kind of guessed on what to bring. My sister Jennifer was kind enough to buy her a whole wardrobe basically and we went with leggings and stretch pants versus jeans. That turned out to be a really good idea...as she is tiny. We have her in 5T clothes right now and they are a bit big. We put her in pair of Hallie's 4T jeans a few days ago and they fell right off; she couldn't even keep them up! So luckily, we have a lot of clothes of Hallie's that she will fit into when we get back. We bought Flor some shoes here as we didn't even want to guess on that size...her feet are tiny, too. Smaller than Hallie's.

Another Ecuador Oddity:
People Loooooove their car horns here. They honk incessantly, even when it is obviously not going to make a difference (which is most of the time!) For example, we will be in a long line at a red light and the instant the light turns green, the whole mass of cars waiting in line begin to honk their horns like crazy. Really? That's surely not going to change the fact that we can't move yet. It's weird, but kind of funny.

Ecuador Day 10

10 days! We have been here 10 days...and it feels like a month! Seriously.

A few things before we get to today's activities:

Adding to the list of odd things about Ecuador...
* I can't tell you how many taxi drivers we have watched relieve themselves on the street outside our apartment. They pull over, walk to the back of the car and open the door as if they are cleaning something, but it is very obvious that they are actually peeing. Then, when they finish, they usually give the car a few swipes to make it appear that they are finishing their cleaning job. Yeah, right. It's difficult to stand at the window and do the dishes because the view often includes this lovely visual...

*The water temperature situation. In our apartment, you pretty much never know what you are going to get. The water varies between warm and freezing cold; no hot included. One shower can include rather nice warm water, then freezing, then back to warm, all in the matter of seconds without touching any of the dials. Eeesh. I am pretty sure the one thing I will look forward to most when we return is a nice HOT shower!

And two little Hallie-isms from the past day:
*We were getting ready to go out somewhere and I had Jace and Flor while Devin was carrying trash or something and then told Hallie to hold his hand. She whined a bit about it and then said, "But I want moooooom to deal with me!" I think we must use the phrase "You deal with her" too often, eh?

*I went to take Hallie's picture tonight because instead of laying on her bed (air mattress) like she was supposed to, she was laying sideways on the bean bag in the room (see picture below). I told her I was going to take her picture and she said, "But mom, it's not picture time. It's bed time." I wish she would listen to herself sometimes...

Alright, today. We spent the morning deep cleaning the apartment. And by deep cleaning I mean cleaning the bathrooms and mopping the floor. That is pretty deep for us here. :) We finished in about 20 minutes (small apartment!) and then got ready to head over to Stephanie's house. Stephanie and family are at the tail end of their adoption process and hope to go home sometime next week. Today they went to get Alison's birth certificate, passport, and ID card. Apparently the civil registry place here in Quito had 4000 people waiting in line and they use a lottery system to see who gets the limited amount of stamped official forms available. Our in country rep, Maria Jose, went to stand in line at 4 am and Stephanie and Alison joined her there at 7:30 am. The things we have to look forward to! The process took them almost all day, but they got what they needed. Yay! While they were gone, we thought we would stop in and check in on Stephanie's two other girls, Allie and Jenna. Her oldest, Jamie, flew home this morning.

We walked down to a local chicken place, Gus, for lunch with Allie and Jenna. Hallie loves these girls and thinks she is so big when she is around them.

Allie, Jenna, and Hallie. Hallie refused to look at me or smile for the picture, so we went without.

Flor and her daddy. She hates the camera. Every time I pull it out, she hides her face, but Devin can make her smile! How about that?

Ummm, yes, this picture makes it rather clear why all the people here call Jace "fat." Is it just me or does he look gargantuan in this photo?

We figure this might have been Flor's first time eating out. So of course it needed documentation. Such a healthy choice for her first time, too!

This demonstrates a classic Flor move. When she doesn't like the sound of something (in this case, the music playing), she covers her ears to make a statement that the sound is not okay with her. When Jace cries, she can always be found covering her ears.

After lunch, we went back to the Broaddus apartment. Jace and Flor went down for naps (yes we just make ourselves at home in their apartment! It is like three times the size of ours, so it is nice to be able to spread out and have a little space) and Hallie and the other girls and I went outside to play in the park that is across the street. It is much nicer than ours from yesterday, in case anyone wonders. The playing outside did not last long as we soon heard these huge booming sounds that seriously sounded like a cannon was going off. The ground rumbled a little even. I am sure it was fireworks or something, but it scared Allie and I enough that we got the children inside, pronto. The girls then watched a movie (Barbie Christmas. Hallie was in HEAVEN) while Devin rested and I read.

After Stephanie came home, we returned to our apartment and spent a lazy afternoon. I started reading Flor's packet of information that Pamela gave us. I can understand most, though it is in Spanish, but it does make difficult reading. For what I don't understand, I use google translate, which is not always accurate, but hey, it gives me an idea. I got about halfway through that. The most fascinating thing to me is the records they have. We have copies of the forms Flor's birth mother filled out when she entered the hospital to have her. It's that in depth. When we started this process, I definitely thought that we knew nothing about Flor's background other than that she was abandoned. But, no, we have the records of her birth mother from the hospital where she was delivered. Interesting. Most of the hospital and doctor records are from the time Flor was young, mostly in her first year. It is interesting also to read the records of when I was here with her as a volunteer. I remember the times she was in the hospital and what was going on, but now to have the official record from that time? It's kind of crazy. They have kept very accurate records of everything. We have x-rays, reports from visiting the doctor when she had a cold, psychologist reports, social work reports, immunization records, orphanage reports, etc. She even has a little Ecuador ID card. It's cute. These things will all be invaluable when we take her to the doctor in the US as well as when we start her in school.

Dinner was PB and J sandwiches (just PB for Flor, poor thing. No jam for her) thanks to our friends Erin and Zac who left us a huge thing of Peanut Butter when they were here for Christmas. We are not about to buy it here, as a tiny jar is $7. We would be through that in two meals! We packed some to bring when we came, but it got confiscated in the airport in SLC as it was in our carry on bags and the lady deemed it a liquid. Yeah. First time I have ever heard of peanut butter being a liquid! Oh well. We also ate some local fruits for dinner, none of which Devin or Hallie enjoyed. I did though! I don't know what these things are called, but I have great memories of eating them with Kylee when we were here on my second trip. Remember those gel-like seedy fruits, Ky? Anyone know what they are called?  Speaking of the fruits and veggies, Haylee asked if they are safe to eat. They are, but we take the precaution of cleaning them in bleach water first. We also ate meat last night for dinner from the market we went to....and we all feel fine (so far!).

That funny Hallie. Here is the picture I was talking about before. 

Well, that's all for today I suppose. We appreciate all the emails, Skypes, comments, facebook messages, etc. that we are getting. We love you all and are so appreciative of your support in this journey!

Ecuador Day 9

Today was rather low-key (boring, if you will). We managed to make it to the Mega-Maxi even before it opened. Apparently they don't open until 10 and we got there at 9:30. Such a life we have! So, we roamed the neighborhood until it was time to open. We picked up what we needed and made it home by 11. Getting home was so tiring today for some reason. Granted, it is uphill and hauling three kids and groceries is tough, but still. We looked up the elevation in Quito yesterday and for anyone that cares, it is 9200 feet above sea level here. So, yes, I think we get winded faster!

After lunch and naps, we were able to Skype with a lot of people, which is so nice because it makes me feel connected to family back home. We Skyped with Grandma and Grandpa Perry, Devin's sister Alisa, my sister Jennifer, and my cousin Che', who was at her mom's house with a huge crowd of people from the family. So, that was really great. After that, we made a trip to a park just up the road from us. It is up a little hill, so we couldn't really see it from the road....but...it turned out to be pretty awesome:

Yes...rusted and all. Didn't stop Hallie from really enjoying herself. Maybe we should be worried about all that rust? I think we will try for another park from here on out!

I took this picture on the way home from the park. This is where trash is kept. It is picked up every Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday. I don't envy the people who have that job...

The afternoon was lazy and involved toys, a movie, coloring, and reading. Devin then cooked us a spectacular dinner-- right up there with our Christmas dinner-- of steak, roasted potatoes, grilled pineapple, and fresh vegetables. Delicious. I think we are finally starting to figure out the eating thing here. We'll see.

The kids all playing together. Such a great sight! This is Flor's room. Hallie is now in our room on an air mattress and Jace is in the hall in a pack-n-play. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Having any of the kids in together means that when one wakes up they all do and we would rather some sleep in than none.

Cute Flor. This is her bear that we got her when we first went to see her at the orphanage. She has to sleep with it now.

Flor and Hallie in their matching Jammies (both HUGE on them!) during scripture study with Daddy. 

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday is the huge packet of information we got from Pamela yesterday on Flor. We have original documents for all of her medical reports, psychological reports, an ID card for Ecuador, and reports from the orphanage. This is all so great for us as we will need it when we get home. We have gotten bits and pieces in the past, but this is everything.

I sort of analyzed this experience so far with my cousin Che' last night and I thought I would write some of my thoughts here, too. I think that I was so excited and anxious during the process of getting to this point that I never really stopped to think about how bonding would look like when we got here. Of course I knew that I love this little girl and that I we have had the confirmation repeatedly that we are doing the right thing by bringing her into our family, but I didn't fully visualize what it would be like to actually have her and blend her into our family. I think that things have been really great so far, and we are blessed in that way, but the process is totally different than bringing a new baby into our family. The baby comes with no history, no background, nothing but a fresh new life ahead of them. Devin and I have been responsible for the raising of Hallie and Jace and have brought them to the point that they are in their lives. That is not to say that there aren't outside influences, there are; but we have been their primary caregivers and in charge of helping them learn, grow, and develop. With Flor, despite my longings to have her earlier in her life, the situation is different. She has only known orphanage settings during her almost seven years on this Earth. She comes with a whole history that Devin and I can't ever possibly fully know. She has a set of behaviors developed from her past that will be more difficult to change as she has kept them with her during the past seven  years. She has definite coping mechanisms that I can see come from being one of many children being taken care of at once. For example, she is prone to hitting and pulling hair when she does not get something that she wants. She also has the self-soothing behaviors of sucking and rocking that have served as comforters to her to this point in her life. Not to say that she has not had any comforters; she has, but she has never had the consistency that comes with a family and with a mom and a dad to provide the love and support that she needs. All of this, plus much more, combines to make Flor who she is now. We can't go and change the past, but can only deal with the here and now while looking to the future.

The bottom line is that this type of situation is definitely going to make bonding more difficult. Now, before anyone freaks out, I just want to assure you that all is well and that I feel both Devin and I are bonding well with Flor. It's just not the instantaneous bond someone with a brand new baby usually has. We have transplanted this little girl into our family and we really are still learning about her. We don't know what she likes, what she doesn't like, how best to discipline her, what her fears are, what comforts her, etc. But, we are learning.

I feel like every day has been an improvement on the last since Flor has been living with us. We are starting to get how she "ticks" and can respond to her accordingly. One thing that Pamela mentioned to us a few times is that Flor likes being a baby and acting like a baby, though she is not. Devin and I definitely think this is true. She is capable of much more than she is doing. For example, potty training. Flor has gone to the bathroom for us a few times and can remain dry for hours on end, however, she really likes to wear diapers. We aren't going to take potty training head-on while here, but hopefully shortly after we get home, we can work on this more.

Flor has also been trying to test limits with us right from the start, though we have since figured out that she knows better with most things. We have decided to treat her like a little girl, not a baby, and to respond quickly to every incident of "acting out." For example, she likes to throw objects, even though she knows that she is not supposed to. As we have quickly removed her from the situation every time after she throws something and put her into a short "time-out" in her bed, we have noticed improvements in her behavior as she is recognizing that she can't get away with things. So, as I said, each day is an improvement on the last, and each day I feel like we know more about our little girl.

Also, another little clarifier...though I feel that bonding and love are related, I also feel that they are different things. I love Flor and have for six years. She holds a deep and important place in my heart. Despite having missed six years of her life, the same love I have for Hallie and Jace overwhelmed me when I first saw her again and continues to grow. I know that there will continue to be ups and downs in the bonding process with Flor, but my love for her is unchanging.

Did I mention that our official bonding period is over? Well it is. Supposedly we passed. So yay for that! Prayers for a quick turn around on the reports so that we can get a court date sooner rather than later would be great!