Lesson #1: Positivity

As per my sister's recommendation, I recently read the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch. I had heard of him before and even seen part of his lecture, on the Oprah show (clip seen here). Basically, for those that don't know the story, Mr. Pausch gives one last lecture as a college professor that is actually meant for his children to remember him because he is dying of pancreatic cancer. He is truly inspirational and I was touched by the book as well as the full length video of his lecture that I promptly looked up on YouTube. He basically gives shortened versions of lessons he has learned throughout his life that have meant something to him and things that he wants his children to remember about him.

Well, I am not dying, but I have had the idea floating around in my head since I finished the book that it might be fun for me to write some of my own "lessons" that I have learned throughout the course of my life. I of course will not be nearly as profound as Mr. Pausch, so don't expect anything glorious. However, I think I will do posts from time to time on this topic as things come to me. We'll see what happens.

So today I am going to start with something that I really need to remind myself of. I have had a rough two days on the job (I will probably post about it on my adoption blog at some point, but not yet, it's too fresh.) I came home yesterday convinced I was going to quit my job. And you know that I love my job, so that is saying something. Luckily, the feeling was fleeting. Anyway, today's topic is: Positivity, or the art of remaining positive.

Let's be honest, life is hard sometimes. My freshman and sophomore years of high school were particularly hard for me because those were the years that my parents were getting divorced. I was already having a tough time because I didn't quite know who I was. I think freshman year was harder than sophomore year, where I started to feel adjusted to the "new normal" of post-divorce life, of high school, of friends and of dating. So to preface the story that I am about to tell you, let's just say that sometimes I didn't know how to properly control my emotions, sometimes I was a bit rash (I know, I know, I would never do that now...)

One night, a few of my friends and I slept over at my friend Camille's house. It was the beginning of winter and the night brought frost. At this time in our lives, we thought it was especially fun to prank people and we had done some pretty funny things. We, however, liked to be on the pranker side of things, not the prankee (especially me, I hated being pranked). That night, I parked the car I shared with my sister outside of Camille's house for the night. The next morning, before the sun was even up, one of Camille's parents came to wake us up to tell us that my car had been pranked and we had better come look.

I think I was thinking that the car would look somewhat wedding style, with saran wrap and cookies and whipped cream spelling things on the windows. Not so. The boys who had pranked us had poured a huge, I correct myself, massive amount of mustard down the front of the car. Now, let's recall the season. Instead of just making a mess on the hood of the car, like they had intended, the mustard had instead seeped under the sides of the hood and frozen into all the crevices possible underneath the hood. Not good. No, not good at all.

I was FURIOUS. I remember screaming and crying and saying that I hated whoever had done this (I know who it is now, it didn't take us long to figure it out, smart girls that we were. Perhaps the people who we had been pranking? Yeah, smart, I tell you.) I basically threw a colossal 16 year old fit. I was afraid that my parents and my sister were going to be so angry at me for ruining the car and even more so, I was mad that someone would do this to me.

The three or four of us sopped up as much as we could with paper towels and then waited till morning to drive the car to a car wash. I pathetically rolled down my window to ask the attendant if I could pop the hood and run the car through like that. Ha ha, poor me.

Well, it didn't take long to realize the humor in the situation. The car was just fine. In fact, my sister, the tight wad that she is, still drives it to this day. I really remember thinking, "why in the world did you cry so much over this? Why did you get so angry? You really over-reacted!" I had the option to remain positive and laugh at the prank that had been pulled on me from the beginning, but I didn't.

Now, I know this is a silly example. But I have thought a lot about that dumb experience a lot over the years and how I could have reacted differently. There are some people who just have a positive reaction from the beginning, something uplifting to say, or something happy to think regardless of what their situation is. I want to be one of those people, but I am still learning.

The person who first comes to mind is my dear brother-in-law Chris. Chris, despite a brain tumor that took so much from him, including his speech, his ability to walk, his dignity, and ultimately his life, never complained. One of my favorite Chris-isms was his ability to spin things into a positive light, no matter what they were. As he was heading into surgery to remove his tumor, he shouted "Hasta La Vista Baby!" and waved at everyone sobbing for him with a big grin on his face. Chris also had only "good" and "better" days. Nothing less. How telling of the individual that he was.

Me, well, I have "bad" days all the time. Something I want to work on is being more like Chris, more positive in whatever it is that I am going through, whether something as silly as frozen mustard in my engine, a terrible day at work, or something as life changing as serious illness.

Here's to having "good" or "better" days all the time!

Disobedience

This is Devin's idea of "No Gifts" for Valentine's Day:

When I got home from Idaho last night, all this was awaiting me. He had made dinner, had sparkling cider and chocolate dipped strawberries ready, and a bubble bath drawn for me (he knows I love to take a bath to relax).

Oh how I love my husband.

Now I look like the dork that didn't do anything for her husband for Valentine's Day.

He even had a little gift for Hallie:

I have a gem on my hands! XOXO Devin, I love you. Thanks for being the greatest thing that ever happened to me and for continuing to surprise me with how amazing you are.

Career Ambitions

Comic from here

Hallie has begun to take her "art" very seriously these days. Drawing on paper is fine, coloring is fine, but it is flesh decoration that really makes her happy.

Yesterday alone she tried to lift up my shirt and color on my back (particularly the love handle area, I know she can't resist...) three separate times.

I told Devin about this and he declared that she has chosen a tattoo artist as her career of choice.

Lovely, just lovely. Good thing I have a few years to hopefully help her aim for something higher. We'll see.

That Love Thing

I know I dedicate a whole lot of this blog to Hallie, but there is another important person in my life...my best friend and husband, Devin. In honor of Valentine's Day this week, I thought I would share some of my favorite Devin-isms and why I fell in love with this nearly perfect man.

When Devin and I met, he was living with his sister Shawna and her husband Slava in Idaho Falls. Where he comes from, there aren't a whole lot of job opportunities, so he worked at Jamba Juice in between his junior and senior years and then again after graduating from high school. That was the summer that I got to know him. For me, it was definitely love at first sight. I thought he was extremely good looking. I quickly also took note of a few things that caught my attention: He was a gentleman and he was very good with children. I was so impressed right away that I told myself that I was going ot marry that man.

Devin worked with my best friend Kylee at Jamba. One day, Kylee was hungry at work, so Devin went home to his sister's house after his shift and made her some sandwiches and brought them back to her. I still remember thinking how impressed I was that he would do that for someone.

We eventually started playing games at Shawna's house after Devin and Kylee's shifts would end (Poor Ky, she always had to come with me whenever I spent time with Devin. I was too insecure to do it myself!). During those times, I noticed a strong bond that Devin had with his nephew Kayden. It was clear that Kayden loved him.

Devin left for his mission after that summer. There are way too many other memories to name here from that first summer, but I was so sad when he left, though I knew he was doing the right thing. The highlight of my first two years at BYU was receiving letters from him. I would walk by our mailbox everyday and hope that the letters would come. He never failed to stick Barbie or Ninja Turtle stickers on the envelopes, so they would stick out and I would know immediately it was a letter from him.

After he finally returned, our romance was a whirlwind, I'd say. Devin is an utmost gentleman. He is caring, kind, thoughtful, loving, and patient. I would have a hard time living with me at times, but Devin doesn't. He takes everything in stride and is quick to apologize. There is no me in our marriage, it is all we. We are complete equals. Devin has done his share of dishes, cleans better than I do, and changed loads of diapers. He is not a complainer and keeps up with everything without a complaint. Oh, yeah, and all that is on top of working full time and taking a full load of classes. He is just amazing, I tell you.

Devin is also up for trying new things, even if the idea doesn't thrill him. He will do things for me just to please me (see the picture above of him dressed as a pioneer woman for Halloween. Classic example!). He watches chick flicks, lets me read children's books to him, and his nearly favorite thing to say is "whatever you want honey!" (So enthusiastic too!)

I was right about the fact that Devin is good with children. No, he is amazing with children. He has been an incredible father and Hallie is lucky to have him. She adores her father (as mentioned in the last post!). He is patient, fun, and in turn adores his child. Devin can't wait for Hallie to get older so that he can "rough house" more with her. He does a little bit of that already and Hallie loves it. Devin loves spending time with Hallie and bonding with her. I get so happy just watching them together.

I have been into reading my old journals lately. I look back at my junior high and high schoool self and just think, "Man I wish I could go back and tell myself what was in store for my future!" I was so self conscious and very hard on myself during those years. I was not the girl that dated a lot or was asked out a lot. I also guarded my heart carefully. I think perhaps the most beautiful thing that Devin has given me is confidence. He loves me for me and I believe him when he tells me that he would not change a thing about me. I look back on my old self and realize that I just needed someone to help me see that I do have a lot to offer. I found that person in Devin. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful man in my life and I love him so much.

Happy Valentines Day!

*I am going out of town this weekend for Sadie's birthday and my cousin's wedding (Devin has to stay because he has to work! Boo!), so I won't be spending the actual day with Devin. However, I don't think it is the day itself that is important, but just taking the time to realize and be grateful for the loves that we have in our lives.

I've Taken Notice...(15 month update)

Lately, I have been fascinated as I watch Hallie's personality (which, let's be honest, has been pretty evident from the beginning) continue to develop. I am amazed at all she is learning and just watch her everyday thinking that she is absorbing so much. Here are some things I have observed lately: (along with some pictures that mostly have nothing to do with anything...)

1. Hallie has some serious parental preferences, and let's just say that its not me that she prefers. :) Don't worry, I have evidence to back up my claims.

-Whenever I ask Hallie to say "mama", she always says "dada", just to spite me. Believe me, its not a matter of not knowing how to say "mama", because she does that plenty, but only if she is desperate for something and I am the only one around to get it for her.

-When Hallie wakes up in the morning, I am usually the one to get her out of her crib. Most often, she is in quite the cheery mood because she has had a good night's sleep. Without fail, I will walk into the room and her little head will pop up to look at me. The next thing that invariably happens is she will say, "dada?" and look around to find out where he is.

-Yesterday, Hallie stepped on a board game piece and hurt her foot. She starting crying and so I picked her up to comfort her. She let me hold her all right, but she also let me know that I wasn't her first choice. She wailed over and over again, "daaaadaaaaaa....daaaaddaaaaa....daaaddaaaaa." I had to work really hard not to laugh because she just sounded distraught and wanted her daddy to comfort her. (Devin was working, so was unavailable at the time).

-When Devin comes home from work or school, Hallie makes a bee-line for the door and squeals with delight upon seeing her father. She also cries when he leaves. When I leave, it is more like a cheery wave bye bye. Upon my return, she is happy, but not nearly as excited as she gets for Devin.

-We are teaching Hallie to say "I Love You." She repeats I and love (which sounds more like yuuuuh) and then she varies between repeating "you" when we say it or finishing with the all famous "dada".

Not to worry, I am pleased that Hallie likes her dad! I love that she has such a good relationship with him. He spends a lot of time with her during the day due to my work schedule and she is happy as a clam to be with him. I know that she loves me too, but I find it endearing that she is so cute with her dad.

Little Ghost Hallie. She LOVES this blanket that Devin's co-worker made for her and hauls it around the house. The other day, she walked around with it over her head like this and thought it was the most hilarious thing ever.
Hals has taken to just throwing herself on the ground occasionally and having a "rest". She'll just be walking along and the next thing you know, she is sprawled on the floor wherever she happens to be.


2) Hallie has become super independent. She has to do a lot of things herself now. That includes feeding herself most of the time. That has become a bit of a disaster at times...See the picture below for proof of that. That's not the worst of it, but she looked pretty pleased to have coated her eyebrow so well!
We went to a BYU basketball game last week and Hallie refused to sit by Devin and I. She either stood to the side and watched the game, or she sat on the bench in front of us. No lie. She would not sit by our sides without throwing a fit. That made for an awkward game. The people in front of us no doubt wondered why our toddler was sitting by herself on the bench next to them. (Don't worry, Devin had a hold of her from the back).
Just cute, playing her all time favorite game "chase me"


3) This kid has some smarts! Yes, I have evidence of this too.

-The other day, we were getting ready to leave to go somewhere. We were standing in the kitchen and I told Hallie (jokingly) to go get her coat so that we could go. Well, off she marched, into her room, opened the closet door, pulled her coat off from the hook (its a low hook), shut the closet, and marched on back to the kitchen with her coat. I was pretty darn impressed! I have no recollection of teaching her what "coat" is, but she must have heard it enough to know. Plus, she knew right where it was and followed the directions to go get it.

-When we have family prayers, we try to kneel down. Recently, I called for Hallie from our bedroom to come because we were going to have prayers. I looked out the bedroom door and saw her squatting on the rug. Later, I realized that that was her version of kneeling. She has done this almost every time since when we pray. It just must have clicked one day that "prayer" and "kneeling" go together. It's cute, I will have to get a picture.

-Another "when did she learn that?" moment occurred the other day when Hallie was jumping on the bed. Yes, Devin allows her to jump on the bed. I came into our room and saw this happening and said to Hallie, "Don't do that or you will fall and hurt your head." With one final bounce, she landed on her bum and started hitting her head over and over again. I ran and got the camera and asked her to show me her head again, which she did (the video is below). I have never deliberately taught her "head." We have worked on eyes, nose, tongue, ears, and cheeks, but never head. So it was crazy to me that she had picked that up from somewhere and knew what her head was.

I just think it is fascinating to watch her little mind work. I love the stage that she is in, although she is already getting into fit throwing too. We are in for it! I just love this little girl so much, she is such a thrill to have in our lives.

One last picture. Hallie never took a binky really well. However, she now has this doll that has a binky and I often find her sucking on the tiny, hard binky. Don't ask me!