Gross info to come-- just a warning. I was gone to my friend Amy's wedding today and came home to the smell of poop. My kids were with the neighbor girl who has babysat them quite often. She was here from 4-9 so handled dinner, bedtime, etc.
I went down to check on Flor and found her asleep in her bed, but with nothing on but a shirt. Her diaper was to the side of her bed with poop in it and there was poop EVERYWHERE. On the carpet, on her bedspread, on the sheets, in her hair, in her MOUTH (yes, gross), on the rug, on the dresser, on the walls....it looked like she had a hay day and then went to sleep. This has happened before (in fact, two days ago-- similar scenario- she removed her diaper during nap time and pooped on the floor and then ate it and spread it). We have started to put her in zip up jammies and put them on backwards at night as she has a tendency to strip during the night and likes to dig in her diaper/play with herself. So, first and foremost, I am totally frustrated with the pooping and playing scenario and don't know what to do about it. It happened the other day for me during her nap time, so I guess I may need to put her in zip jammies even for naps. Other than that, I don't know how to discourage the playing with poop idea. Even if she poops on the potty (which she does sometimes if we put her on the potty when we can tell she needs to go), she likes to stick her hand in there and play with it. She is about 18 months developmentally, so it makes sense for her developmental age, but I am just SO sick of it!
I am not so much frustrated by the fact that it happened while the babysitter was here, because clearly it happened when I was home with Flor the other day too, but it makes me feel less like I can ever leave her alone, because let me tell you, cleaning up poop from every surface in her room, plus from her body, mouth, and hair, is the MOST disgusting. Twice in one week has really done me in.
So, add this post to my list of "Kim is too honest" posts. The reality of parenting Flor is that it.is.DIFFICULT sometimes (okay a lot of the time). She can be as sweet as can be and such a loving little girl, but she has some behaviors that are repetitive and so hard to deal with sometimes. The most frustrating part for me, I think, is that I cannot communicate with her except for on basic, basic things. Communication is a two way street and both ways are frustrating for me. I want her to be able to tell me why in the world she feels the need to play with and eat poop and I want to be able to explain to her why such things are not good for her or for anyone in the house.
I know I have said this before, but I will repeat. I have thought long and hard about the difficulties we have faced since we had Flor (which, by the way, we KNEW we would have. We didn't know what specific form they would take, but we knew they would come. I just don't want you all to roll your eyes and go, "yeah, but you asked for this!" Yes, we did, I totally acknowledge that, but I still need to vent sometimes) and I am totally convinced that our particular challenges have almost nothing to do with the fact that she was adopted or even that she was adopted at an older age. I think our challenges come almost entirely from the fact that she has such severe special needs. That challenge is exacerbated by the fact that she was seven when we adopted her, meaning we have no idea of her history or influence on her history. For example, if we had parented her from the time she was a baby and at age two she started pulling hair (one of her favorite tricks), we could have had from age 2 to the present to handle this behavior with consistently telling her "no" and disciplining (time outs). However, as it is, we have only had not-quite-two years of handling this particular behavior and we have no idea how it was handled before, or what has been ruled out as "not working" for trying to eliminate the behavior. However, the core of the issue is that she has special needs and cannot communicate or think like most eight year olds and that we cannot in turn communicate with her. Does any of that make sense?
BLAH. I totally retire from poop for the REST OF MY LIFE!! You hear that everyone?! Just because I declare it, it means it has to be true. Right.
On a good note, my neighbor (the mom of the babysitter) came over to help me clean up the carpet and such after I called to ask if the babysitter had noticed anything. She definitely didn't need to do that, but the help was greatly appreciated. Little acts of service (or big in this case) mean a lot.
So, add this post to my list of "Kim is too honest" posts. The reality of parenting Flor is that it.is.DIFFICULT sometimes (okay a lot of the time). She can be as sweet as can be and such a loving little girl, but she has some behaviors that are repetitive and so hard to deal with sometimes. The most frustrating part for me, I think, is that I cannot communicate with her except for on basic, basic things. Communication is a two way street and both ways are frustrating for me. I want her to be able to tell me why in the world she feels the need to play with and eat poop and I want to be able to explain to her why such things are not good for her or for anyone in the house.
I know I have said this before, but I will repeat. I have thought long and hard about the difficulties we have faced since we had Flor (which, by the way, we KNEW we would have. We didn't know what specific form they would take, but we knew they would come. I just don't want you all to roll your eyes and go, "yeah, but you asked for this!" Yes, we did, I totally acknowledge that, but I still need to vent sometimes) and I am totally convinced that our particular challenges have almost nothing to do with the fact that she was adopted or even that she was adopted at an older age. I think our challenges come almost entirely from the fact that she has such severe special needs. That challenge is exacerbated by the fact that she was seven when we adopted her, meaning we have no idea of her history or influence on her history. For example, if we had parented her from the time she was a baby and at age two she started pulling hair (one of her favorite tricks), we could have had from age 2 to the present to handle this behavior with consistently telling her "no" and disciplining (time outs). However, as it is, we have only had not-quite-two years of handling this particular behavior and we have no idea how it was handled before, or what has been ruled out as "not working" for trying to eliminate the behavior. However, the core of the issue is that she has special needs and cannot communicate or think like most eight year olds and that we cannot in turn communicate with her. Does any of that make sense?
BLAH. I totally retire from poop for the REST OF MY LIFE!! You hear that everyone?! Just because I declare it, it means it has to be true. Right.
On a good note, my neighbor (the mom of the babysitter) came over to help me clean up the carpet and such after I called to ask if the babysitter had noticed anything. She definitely didn't need to do that, but the help was greatly appreciated. Little acts of service (or big in this case) mean a lot.
5 comments:
Oh, I'm sorry Kimmie! That is the total worst! I hate poop, even when confined to a diaper! So sad. You'll figure something out though, I know you will. You are persistent and a smart thinker! Prayers and hard work as always. Have you ever thought about getting one of those video baby monitors so you can check on her at night/ nap time. Do you ever talk to other parents of special needs children and share ideas of what works for various things?
Good luck! You guys are awesome!
You have a way with venting, because you are still so positive and have perspective instead of a "giving up" mentality. :) I like the real stories!
I have heard some mom's put one big strip of duck tape over the two straps to keep kids from opening up their own diaper. And if that doesn't work maybe over a portion of the diaper. Maybe that would be easier for nap time so you don't have to change clothes. Or maybe a lot tougher. BUT! some kids get through it. And in either of the last two cases, ignore the idea. :) I know it works for some moms though.
I guess whatever prevents I am sure you will do. :) Just tell her to stop pooping! That's what we tell Cosette, the poop monster. My poor kids. :)
Awwwwww, I'm so sorry. At a place I once worked, (loved working there!) I delt with a lot of poop daily, and had a lot of what we called "finger painting". I get the pain, It was no fun!! If there is anything we (I) can do please let me know. Your in our prayers!!
Oh, Love. I'm so sorry. I cannot imagine how frustrating that would be. Hang in there. You will be so blessed for taking such good care of our little Flor. I love you. Call me next time, I'm the poop master. It's part of my job description.
I have no good advice. Only to hang in there, you are an amazing mom/wife/person! We love you and you will be blessed for all you do for your family. Lots of love coming your way.
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