June Happenings

Well, now that June is about over...how about a shmorgasboard post of random happenings? Okay? Okay.

Garage Sale/Relay for Life Fundraiser:
The first weekend of June was our annual garage sale. We had less stuff this year, but more quality items I would say. We didn't do too bad and made $300 for our team. Wahoo! Jennifer and Steve drove down to help with the garage sale and so we had fun spending the weekend with them. Hmm... no pictures of them or of any of us for that matter, though. I guess that's a good thing though, right Steve, since the only pictures that we seemed to take were ones of Steve posing in his 8th grade basketball googles that he was finally willing to part with- all in the name of the Relay for Life. That's the spirit, Steve! Way to take one for the team. And since I am not in possession of said pictures-- they can't be posted here. Boo. 

A sampling of the goods. The hilariously ugly roosters we spent all evening making fun of? First items sold. No joke.One person's trash is another's treasure, truly.

Don't be alarmed. The piano did not get sold at the garage sale, but this goes here because Jen and Steve were kind enough to drive down our new piano when they came! Wahoo! It is actually the piano that we had growing up, but since Jennifer and Steve have everything times two, they decided to part with one of their pianos and we are the lucky recipients. We have enjoyed it immensely already. I have busted out the hymn book and have practiced daily-- probably more than I ever did in my combined 10 years of piano lessons as a child. Sally (my poor piano teacher of old) would be proud.

Utah Valley Half Marathon:

As much as I would like to tell you that I ran a half marathon, don't fall off your chair yet. I did no such thing, but my amazing sisters-in-law, Kirston and Jana did! We were lucky enough to have Grady (Jana's son) the night before the half, plus her husband Karl, who drove from St. George on his motorcycle to be there to surprise Jana at her race. What fun. We got up early and went to see them cross the finish line. They looked amazing...much better than I did and I hadn't even run two feet. Good job ladies!! They are doing another half in August and have tried to persuade me to join them, which I most definitely would-- if I could run more than 2 miles at time before dying. Maybe in a few years....ha.  

Summer Fun: 
I just love summer. I love the warm weather, the awesome fruits and vegetables, the ability to send the kids to the backyard for hours at a time...everything. Summer is in full swing around here and we are definitely loving it. 

 

The kids in the kiddie pool. This and the sprinkler are nearly daily occurrences. This was the first time Flor ever got in the pool. I am a mean mom and made her sit there while she cried for a minute or so because I knew she would like it once she got used to it, she just never allows herself the chance to get used to it. A little exposure therapy does our Flor good. :)

Our cherry tree. This alone sold me our house when we were house hunting and it has not disappointed, especially this year. Check out that goodness. We had insane amounts of cherries this year. We have consumed and given away a lot of cherries-- and they have been delicious.

Doesn't he look pleased to be picking the cherries? He really was quite happy, just doesn't look it here.

Bike rides. Yes, please. (or if you are these two--apparently they mean "Not again!" by the looks on their faces)

Ummm:
I really shouldn't be posting this picture because it is rather incriminating, but we like chicken nuggets, Okay? You just can't go wrong with McDonald's chicken nugget meal deals. Every time Che' and I have gotten together (a fair few times since we have been working hard on the Linda video) it seems we end up consuming our own body weight in chicken nuggets. Seriously, though, lest you be too concerned, please know that these nuggets also fed Devin, Hallie, Jace, Flor, and Hudson. But yes, permission granted to still be slightly concerned.

Father's Day:
Well, since I never posted anything about Father's day....here is a small recap:

This is as crafty as I get, folks. I thought it was pretty great though, if i do say so myself.

Studly man with his studly boy and beautiful girls. Don't mind Jace's mis-matched clothes. He insisted upon that tie.

We ended up at Devin's parent's house for dinner for Father's Day, which was especially great because we got to see Devin's sister Shawna and her kids. They had just arrived from Moscow, Russia and will be here for the summer. Wahoo! Here are Hallie, Kylie, and Megan enjoying their ice cream from Grandma (Megan is Shane and Marcene's; Kylie is Shawna's youngest.)

Broaddus Family Visit: (don't ask me why this font is weird...it looks normal in my compose mode, but it is apparently not. Oh well)

Just yesterday, we had a much anticipated visit from our friends, the Broaddus family. Well, part of them at least. Stephanie and the three youngest girls came through town on their way to Oklahoma. We met this incredible family during our adoption process for Flor, as they were in the process of adopting their Alison from Ecuador as well. I can't tell you how life saving it was to have friends to go through the crazy process with. No one quite understands like they do. When everyone else was sick of hearing about everything, they weren't. We hoped that our paths would cross in Ecuador and we were blessed to have that happen. We spent a truly memorable Christmas together in Quito, along with the Harlan and Schinnerer families and that is a Christmas I will long remember. This is the first time we have seen any of those families that we came to count as such close friends on US soil. So, needless to say, it was a really awesome reunion.

Steph and the girls were only able to stay for a few hours before they had to hit the road again, but we enjoyed every minute. We had a little barbecue in the back yard and let the kids play while we chatted away. This is the youngest, Jenna, with Hallie and Flor. Hallie had been asking about Jenna recently, so it was fun for her to be able to see her. They play really well together--Jenna puts up with a lot (she is seven and Hals three, so you know...)

Okay, so someone smudged the camera here, so never mind that...but here is the crew having a little dinner.

Stephanie and Flor

And...I was there too. Devin and I with Steph and Allie (age 15).

Could he be any dirtier? Yikes!

Allie is a very tender hearted, mature young lady. She was very instrumental in her family adopting Alison. She really has a heart for the orphan. I am so impressed with her...really, I think about what I was like at age 15 and shudder. Eek. I was nowhere near as mature as she is. My biggest concerns were what others think, boys, how I looked, boys, oh did I mention boys? I want my girls to be just like Allie as teenagers!

Two less orphans...and next time we see the Broaddus family, there may be one more to add to this picture! No, not us-- but Stephanie and Andy are pursuing the adoption of another child in Ecuador-- a little girl who was in Flor's house at her orphanage. We are so excited for them to embark on this crazy journey, AGAIN. What great examples they are.

Well, I think that covers it. Let's see- races, garage sale, piano, friends, chicken nuggets, holidays...yep I think all the important stuff is there.

1 year- I miss you, Linda. Love, Kim, Kim, Kimmie

Well, it's been a year.

 A year ago today, life changed in an instant. I can still see it all vividly and have relived the entire experience over and over again. Triggers are everywhere-- pictures of Linda, pictures of Charlie, a life flight going overhead, driving by the hospital where it all happened, passing the credit union where Linda worked, and on and on.

I miss Linda more than I can say. I have grieved her loss far more than any other in my life and it has been really difficult, especially this past little while as the year mark has approached. Che' and I have been working on a video of Linda's life and doing so has forced me to deal with the loss in a way that I haven't yet done. I grieved a lot last year when she passed away and for a few months after, but I effectively buried my grief by throwing myself into Flor's adoption. Now, here it is again- my old friend, grief, back for a stay.

Linda's death was traumatic, not just because it was sudden and totally unexpected, but also in the manner in which it happened. I think I will be forever grateful that I was able to be there for the time leading up to her death. As Che' and I are some of the only ones here in Utah, Che' went straight to get Linda and Brad's kids after we heard what happened and Devin and I hurried to the hospital where Linda and Charlie were both being life-flighted. Che' and I  have processed this experience a lot together and that has been really healing. We were both in the thick of it, but in different capacities and we both processed what was happening at different rates and in our own ways. Even though I was there at the hospital with Linda and spent time with her prior to her official death, I refused to allow myself to believe that she wasn't going to make it. Devin and I left the hospital at 3 am after Brad, my Grandma and Doyle, and Mari Ann and Ron arrived. I got the call just after 5 am from my aunt Mari Ann that she was gone. I left that hospital fully believing that she would live. I don't know why I wouldn't allow myself to face the facts, but I believe that I was given the thoughts and optimism I was for a reason-- it was the only way I was able to cope at the time in the face of all the traumatic images, doctors and social workers talking to us, learning about everything that had happened, etc.

The year since has left me with an overwhelming sense of loss. I've been sad, mad, lonely, and sad again. I am extremely sad that Linda isn't here to meet Flor. She was so supportive and excited about our decision to adopt her. It's heartbreaking to me that she has four babies here on the earth that I can hold and love, but that she can't. I still can't reconcile the fact that the world I know has Linda in it, and the world I know has Charlie in it; yet in actuality, their paths crossed- one entering mortality as the other left it.

Ugh.

Linda & her son Carter

One of the last times I saw Linda- shortly after Jace was born. I love this picture of Linda and Jace- the only one I have- so even though I have posted it before, here it is again.

Che' and I went to visit Brad and the kids last night. Hallie and Hudson came along and I left the rest of the kids home with Devin so as not to add too much chaos during our visit. The visit was really great and it was amazing to see Charlie and the progress she has made. She is the biggest blessing in all of this. I am so grateful for this little person and her life. She represents hope and healing for us.

Don't believe in miracles? One look at her will make you change your mind.

When Charlie was born, we were unsure if she would even live, and if she did, we were told that she had significant brain damage which would not allow her to live a normal life. Linda collapsed and stopped breathing at home when she was 39 weeks pregnant with Charlie and by the time emergency personnel were called, arrived, worked on her, took her back to the hospital, and performed a c-section to bring Charlie into this world, significant time had passed.

Well, look at Charlie now:

Hallie, Charlie, Ryen, and Jack

Happy birthday girl eating her birthday cake over the weekend at my Grandmas. We weren't able to be there, but as this picture shows, she enjoyed her cake! (Thanks Sue for the picture!)

    Charlie is living miracle, and I don't use that term lightly. She is healthy, crawling, climbing, babbling, eating-- doing everything that one year olds do. She had a feeding tube for the first 6 or so months of life as she needed to learn to suck and to swallow, but she has mastered that and she has no lingering side effects. Charlie has met all her developmental milestones just as she should--she's beat Jace on a fair few of them, too. :) Miraculous, I tell you. (by the way, if you want to see more pictures of this beauty, go HERE...her one year old pictures- so adorable!)

 The sting of death has been extremely difficult to bear, but I am grateful for my religious beliefs and the knowledge I have that families are eternal, that death is not the end, and that we will be together with our loved ones again. Let me tell ya, I look forward to that day. I can't wait for Linda to call me a nerd and a loser again, or to ask her to tell the quarter story just so that I can see her laugh so hard she cries, or to torture her with immense amounts of physical affection. It's gonna be a great day when we can all be reunited.

Until then, I love you Linda. Thank you for the beautiful gift you left us.

A special girl in need of a family...

I have a special plea for you all today.

While Devin and I were in Ecuador picking up Flor, we had the privilege of going to visit Flor's first home- the orphanage that started it all for us. It was because of this orphanage that I met Flor, where my life was forever changed, and where I did a lot of soul-searching and a lot of figuring out who I am. That was in 2006. A lot of little babies stole my heart during my three months in Ecuador. Flor was always "my baby", but there were many others who stole my heart, too.

Fast forward to 2012. On our trip to the orphanage, I was anxious to see if any of the other babies remained from my time there six years ago. I was happily surprised to find that almost all were no longer there. I don't know what happened to each of them, but I can assume that most were reunited with their biological families or adopted into their new families. I said almost all were gone-- that is because all were gone, but one. And it is this one that I make a plea for today.

I knew her face immediately when I saw it when we returned in January. She looked the exact same, just a few years older. My heart immediately jumped at the excitement of getting to see her again. The nun even granted me a rare exception and allowed me to take a picture with her. I was thrilled. It was only after we left that my heart began to break for her. Why does she alone remain? Why has no one come for her? How sad it must be for her to watch friend after friend leave happily with their families while she alone remains behind. I have thought about her constantly in the last few months. I want more than anything to bring her into our home, but I know in my heart that Devin and I can't provide everything she needs at this time. This is a hard realization. My heart is bigger than our resources and that hurts.

However, there are others out there who are or who can be ready for her. It's her turn to have family.

Little M will be 8 years old this fall. I am making it my special mission to help find her family. I recently received an email from Jaci, the director of our agency, telling me that M has been assigned to her agency. She has been declared adoptable and she is ready to go.

I have pictures of her and other information relating to her health and social status. M is afro-ecuadorian, meaning she is black. She does have some delays, but let me just say that they are very minor compared to what we are dealing with with Flor. Please, please- will you help me spread the word about her? I want more than anything to see a happy ending for her, too.

Please email me at strobelite@gmail.com if you would like more information and/or pictures of M. Even if you are personally not ready to jump into such a big commitment, will you think about anyone you know who might be prepared to offer this little girl a loving home? I can provide all sorts of information about the process of adopting in Ecuador (not easy and not for the faint of heart- but so worth it) and some appropriate expectations for bonding and attachment after the adoption. I can try to answer any other concerns or questions that anyone might have as well.

Thank you all.

The post placement report: 5.5 months

Well, folks. It's been almost 6 months since Flor joined our family. That's right. SIX MONTHS. That's just a little nutty for me.

I haven't updated on what has been going on with Flor for a little while, so here it is.

Flor finished the regular school year the last week of May, had a week off, and is now back in school for extended school year. However, ESY is only Tuesday-Thursday from 8:30-11:30 am, which really isn't much. I have searched high and low for programs for her for during the summer and even after school during the school year. I feel strongly that she needs the consistency of continuing to work on her goals and make progress. We are of course providing what we can at home, but Devin and I are not professionals in any sense of the word and so only know how to do so much. I can't find any programs that fit for Flor though. I have asked everyone I can possibly think of, and the answer is the same every time- there isn't anything. It's just weird to me because I worked at such a program in high school in IF and I can think of four or five other places who do similar things in Idaho Falls alone. But nothing here. Grr...

In the meantime, we are continuing to work on potty-training with Flor and she is actually doing remarkably well. She does not tell us when she needs to use the bathroom, but if we are consistent in putting her on the potty every 1-2 hours, she can stay generally dry and usually goes right away once she is on the potty. She is definitely getting it. We are so proud of the progress she has made. She gets really excited each time she goes. It's pretty cute. Now, just to get her to tell us when she needs the bathroom....

The loads of doctors appointments continue...and the fun thing about it is that each doctor we see ends up giving us a list of five or more additional doctors they want her to see. So far she has seen: the pediatrician, a infectious disease specialist, a family doctor, an ophthalmologist, and a developmental pediatrician, plus she had her MRI. The list of doctors she is supposed to see still: a metabolic geneticist, a pediatric neurologist, the Primary Children's dentist, a physiatrist, a psychologist, an orthopedist, and an audiologist. Don't worry, we are taking this slow. One at a time, one at a time. It's not overwhelming or anything.

The developmental pediatrician was really wonderful, though. She was through a program called "Children With Special Healthcare Needs" up in Salt Lake. We were told that she would be able to give Flor a diagnosis, but she was unable to do that beyond just the "intellectual disability" that we already knew. She did have some ideas in mind, but not having Flor's complete birth history and family history, she didn't want to pin down one diagnosis. Her thoughts were really helpful for me and she also gave me a lot of insights into how to get Flor the best services for people with disabilities, which was really great.

Flor had complete testing done at her school, along with an IQ test from a Psychologist (which was a joke, apparently). She tested between 12-14 months developmentally in every category, other than gross motor skills where she was 18 months. Her ability to throw a ball knocked her up on that one. :) This is in line with what her orphanage had told us and what we would say ourselves, other than in a few areas. Since Jace is close to that age range, it is interesting to compare the two. They are very similar in most areas, but Flor's comprehension and ability to follow simple commands is better than Jace's at this point. And that's in English. We have almost completely stopped speaking Spanish at all to her, and her ability to understand English is quite good. I would say that she can understand as much as she could in Spanish.

Flor's behaviors continue to improve as well, which we all love. She is really a sweet, social, and fun girl. One thing that has been fun for Devin and I recently is that she is starting to get really excited every time she sees us, when we come home from work or something. In the beginning, she rarely got excited to see us. It kind of hurt for awhile, because we didn't understand why she would run to strangers and show affection to them, but not to us. We discussed it a lot and came to the conclusion that she did this for a few reasons: 1) she was used to her main sources of affection coming from varied people each day. Never was it constant, so the constancy was something that she needed to get used to. She likes the excitement of having someone new around. 2) We are the ones who discipline her. We aren't fun and games all the time and she knows it.  But now, I think she is starting to understand who we are and that we aren't going anywhere. Her attachment to us has gone to a new level as she has begun to get excited and run over to give us a hug and a kiss when we get home. It's about the best thing ever.

I think we have made amazing progress as a family in the last six months and anticipate that that will continue for the next six months. Already it feels like our family is not complete without Flor. I can look back and see just how hard the first few months were, especially the first month or so of being home. It was rough, to say the least. I can see now that many of our challenges didn't even have to do with Flor directly, but going from one child to three in the past year, dealing with essentially two babies day in and day out, and heightened emotions from all of us. Now, the feeling of just trying to survive each day has faded, and more and more the joy has crept in and replaced it. The hard days still happen, but we have stretched, grown, and become stronger and as such, I feel like Devin and I have become more able to cope with those days. I don't know what it was-- but I feel like I was a bit crazy for the first few months home. The littlest things would either cause me to break down and cry or to have a flash of anger (which I am not used to). I am seeing less and less of that in myself, which is nice. Stability is always a good friend, right? (Too much information for some? Sorry-- the real me here.)

A quick note on support. I feel like I have had the best support group ever through this process, which has also been essential. Devin has been amazing. How did I get so lucky to marry this man? I don't know many men who would put their lives on hold and agree to pursue his wife's dream of bringing a fairly severely disabled seven-year-old girl home from a foreign country. Not only did he support it, he embraced it. Flor has been every bit his as she is mine from the very beginning and he has opened his arms and his heart to her in a way I could have only dreamed would happen. I have relied on him A LOT (maybe an unfair amount?) and I am so grateful that he is patient, kind, and a great source of encouragement to me. (Insert lovey-dovey, mushy love note that I know you all want to read. Make up your own. I'll spare you.)

Along with his support, I count my blessings every day that I have met the wonderful friends I have specifically because we all pursued/are pursuing adoptions in Ecuador. I email, text, and facebook with these ladies frequently and their friendship and advice is invaluable to me. I know that I can be 100% myself and tell the story how it really is without fear of any judgement at all. Why? Because they are "there" too. While our challenges may manifest themselves differently (I am not having problems with my child refusing to speak English, even though he knows it, for example), they still just get it. That alone is amazing. But beyond that, we have a friendship where we can discuss every day things, too. We just click. I know that a huge blessing of this process is the gaining of friendships with all of these women, the few in particular who were in Ecuador with us, as well as a few others that I have never yet met, but who I feel extremely close to.

So. How about that. A huge smorgasbord of things reported on. Done and done.  Until next time...

Hallie-isms

It's about time we have a few more Hallie-isms. So, here we go:

*One day out of the blue:
Hals: "Mom, I think Sarah {my cousin} has a baby in her tummy."
Me: "Yes she does."
Hals: "Is it a boy or a girl?"
Me: "A boy."
Hals: Long pause..."What color are his lips?"

*After getting home one day from somewhere, she moved into the front seat of the car and started to pretend to drive. As I headed into the house, she said, "Mom, I have to go some places. You go inside and be a nice girl for Jacer." {You think she has been instructed that before?? haha.}

* One Sunday she came home from church with a paper that she had colored. Her teacher had written her name at the top "Hallis" below a crossed out "Hallie." when I asked her why, she said, "Well, that's how it's spelled in my room, so I told my teacher that is how I spell it now." I can just imagine how that conversation went, Hals insisting that that is how her name is spelled and her teacher wondering how the heck "Hallis" is pronounced "Hallie." haha. Her room has the letters above her bed that spell "Hals" so that is where she got it. We have since had a discussion about it and she understands that she has a nickname that ends with an S, but that isn't exactly how her name is spelled. I guess I should have thought about that when we were doing the decorating! Oh, well.

*One day at the store:
Hals: "Mom, look that looks like Christine's van!"
Me: "You mean Sister E." {but we used her actual last name}
Hals: "No, I mean Christine. We talked about it one day and she said that sometimes I can call her Christine and sometimes I can call her Sister E." {Riiiiiight. I am downright positive that this conversation never happened...Good thing she is certain that she should be calling adults by their first names. Geez.}

Hallie and her cute friend Brooklyn at the end of the year pre-school party. It was a water party- nothing better in Hallie's opinion.

*"Mom? Can I have this treat? Say yes." 

*One day I called home from work to check in. I talked to Devin for a while and then Hallie got on the phone. She loves to talk on the phone and rambles on and on, making it really hard to get off. So, finally I asked her to put Devin back on the phone so that I could end the conversation and get back to work. Before she handed back the phone, she asked me, "Why do you keep calling?" I told her that I had just called once and to put dad on the phone. I hear her say next, "Dad...don't be mad. Mom wants to talk to you AGAIN."

*On our way home from St. George, the kids were starving and so we stopped at a Wendy's for lunch. While we were in line, Hallie asked me, "Mom, are we getting Happy Meals?" When I responded that we were not, she asked, "So...we are getting Sad Meals?"

*One day at dinner, she decided she needed to make an announcement, so she cleared her throat and started with, "Ladies and Jennifers!!!" {I am not even sure where she has heard the phrase before, but she is dead certain that it is 'Jennifers', not 'Gentlemen.' Believe me. We had an argument about it.}

This girl loves her vegetables and insisted upon just brussel sprouts for dinner one day. Fine by me.

*We went swimming over the weekend with Jennifer, Steve, & their girls, plus my cousin Carlie. Right before Hallie went to jump in, she turned to Carlie and asked, "Are there sharks in this pool?" {Just in case you wonder, we did NOT take our children swimming in a shark infested pool.}

* I posted this on Facebook, but its a gem worth repeating, so here it is. For Mother's Day, our ward primary put together a Cookbook from the children. It was hilarious. I laugh every time I read it. Each child said what their favorite thing is that their mom cooks and how she makes it. Here are just a few so you know how great this cookbook is:
 - Our neighbor Hannah "Banana pasta with applesauce, with carrots, and with berries."
- Colby...Red Velvet Cupcakes: "One red velvet mix box, 4 eggs, 1/2 of sugar, 1 cup oil. The frosting has butter. The same ones and 2 big cups ones. 1/2 cup of sugar and a 1/2 cup of salt. { YUM. I love a 1/2 cup of salt in my frosting. :)}
- Jonathan...Apple Pie: "Of course, a apple. Probably Cinnamon. Dough. Maybe a little bit of salt. Nothing else. It would be cooked, in the oven probably. She would cook it in a pie pan. It's something I want my mom to make, but she didn't."
-Carter...Lasagna: "She just adds noddles like this (makes swooshy motion with fingers). She puts tomato stuff in it and barbecue sauce, and then these noodles again. And then white stuff. I don't know what it is, we just call it white stuff. And then she cooks it in the oven and in the microwave."
-Jonah...Cookies: "Flour. Make it into dough. Make into shapes (or not). She puts it in the oven and cooks. Take them out with like, red things. Set timer for how long they will cook. Take them out. Let them cool down. Have one when you're being really good."
-Elena...Cereal: "Pour the cereal, then pour milk in the bowl. Then eat it."
- Hallie...Nachos: "Cook it and get some cheese on those nachos."

Aaaaaaand, that's all for this edition of Hallie-isms {plus cute neighbor-kid-isms as a bonus.}