a few clips of the kids

Hallie and Jace- a few months ago since Jace was 3 months. She is so funny with him.



Hallie rocking at Grandma's house when we were in Idaho over the 4th. She spent a lot of time on the porch in this chair. Nevermind the swimsuit- she also spent a lot of time in the kiddie pool and in the sprinkler.



I was in the bathroom getting ready one day and heard Hallie in the kitchen singing away. Love the "has me given me an earthly home..." Kinda close.



Jace laughing. Disregard me fake coughing. He fake coughs all the time so I was trying to get him to do it, but of course he would not. Boo.

Tidbits

*My Aunt Mari Ann graduated on Saturday from Western Governor's University with her MBA! We are super proud. We were the loudest and most embarrassing family at the graduation, by far. What better purpose for a family than to embarrass you! We even held up homemade signs. Fancy, I know.

{Don't even ask me what this picture is of. It appears to be a graduation and that is all that matters. It happens to be the only one I took, so it will have to do. Nevermind the blurriness!}

*Last weekend was busy and fun. I stayed at Che's house Friday night to help prep for Mari's luncheon the next day. That night, I met two of my closest friends for dinner in SLC. Camille and Kylee were both in town for family reunions so it worked out perfect! We haven't all been together for AGES- probably not since Camille's wedding. We all went to high school together and then were roommates at BYU. I didn't take any pictures of us, of course, but do have the following two:


{Hallie and Jayda were a bit out of control. They took over the booth next to us, which was great.}
{Camille with Jace. It was her first time meeting him. He loved her. This was just after he had a huge blow-out. Always fun in a restaurant!}

Lesson Learned: TAKE MORE PICTURES!

*After the luncheon at Che's, we hung out to all hours of the night and played games, etc. So much fun. I just love being around my family. We got the idea to compare the size of Hudson's thighs to Jaces:
{Hudson on the left and Jace on the right. Keep in mind that Jace is 2 1/2 months YOUNGER than Hudson. Oh, dear.}

*We got a new report on MF via email and three new pictures! My heart just melted when I saw them. She is growing up so fast and it hurts my heart that she is still sitting in the orphanage when I just want her HERE. The reports are promising- it seems like she is making great progress!

*If you are in Utah and like running, here is an opportunity for you! A friend of my aunt Linda's contacted my mom on Facebook and said that she had submitted their family's name to be part of a fundraiser in the Cache Valley Mud Run. A portion of the proceeds will go to Brad and the kids for anyone who signs up with the code ROWBURY. It is a 5k race through the mud and looks amazing. I think we will be getting a family team together to participate. What a fun thing to do in the memory of our Linda. Here is the page that explains about their family as part of the fundraiser if you want to read it. Please spread the word to anyone you know who may be interested.

That's about it for now! I will try to be better about updating more regulary- but with all the summer fun, it can be a bit tricky!

Adoption Update

I have had some people ask lately what is happening with the adoption process, so I will give you a little update. Let's just say this process is sloooooooow. I knew I needed to work on patience and believe me- this is really testing my patience! So remember how we filed our I-800a form at the beginning of May? Well, supposedly it takes about 8 weeks to get approval. We are on week 11 and no approval yet. UGH. We were summoned for fingerprints about three weeks after we filed, so I thought that was a really good sign...but apparently not.

I have been checking the mail faithfully every day waiting for that one little envelope to arrive. Well, Friday seemed to be my lucky day. I opened the mailbox and there was a letter from USCIS! I was sure it was our approval. Well, it wasn't. Instead, it told us that our home study was not completed by a Hague approved agency and that we need to submit evidence that it has since been approved by a Hague accredited agency. That day was a rough day and this was enough to send me over the edge. I cried.

I never knew that our home study had to be written by a Hague accredited agency. I knew that our adoption needs to be facilitated by a Hague accredited agency because Ecuador is part of the Hague Convention, but the home study was the initial phase and I didn't realize that they also needed to be Hague accredited. There are only three Hague accredited agencies in Utah, by the way, and one of them is LDS Family Services, the agency I work for. We don't even do international adoption in any sense, so it is funny that we are Hague accredited. We don't write international home studies and plus having my own agency write our home study seemed to be a conflict of interest. The other two agencies are in St. George and Ogden, I think. I didn't even consider having one of these two agencies do our home study because of the distance, but I might have if I had known it was important!

Well, I stressed about it all weekend. But luckily the fix is easy. Our agency, Joshua Tree, (out of Florida), is Hague accredited, and all she needs to do is write a letter stating that she has reviewed our home study and that it is approved through her agency. But still, this delays the process some. So that has been frustrating.

I am just trying to throw all timelines out the window. At first, we thought we would have MF home sometime this summer. Then we thought it would be this fall. Now I am thinking we will be lucky to have her home before Christmas. It seems crazy that we started this process almost a year ago! It was October 2010, so it will be a year here in a few months.

From here, we still need to submit our dossier with all the documents, then we file another form for immigration, the I-800. If that takes as long as this one has....I don't even want to think about that.

We are also still waiting to hear from one grant program, though we are really not holding out much hope that we are going to get a grant. I know there are so many families applying and so many with needs, I don't know how they choose.

So there is the update. Not much. Believe me, I will be posting all sorts of exclamation points when something actually does happen!

Grief

It feels unreal that it has been three weeks since Linda's death. I am fine some days, and then there are other days- like today, that are just rough.

It has been interesting to watch how each of my family members is dealing with this tragedy and how each processes their grief. We have the gamut- from crying, to anger, to depression.

I talk about grief a lot with the birth parents I work with. Now it is taking on a whole new meaning as I see myself going through some of the phases of grief. There is one handout that I use almost always with girls for their first session back after placing. It is titled "Appropriate Expectations you can Have for Yourself in Grief." It has a long list of things and now I am recognizing some of the things in myself.

For example: (these are paraphrased- for as many times as I have read the handout, I should know them word for word, but I don't.)

"Your grief may take longer than most people think." -When I say my Aunt died, to some people that seems like no big deal. But the dynamic in my family is such that we are all very close and she was not some distant relative that I hardly knew. So, I'm not "over it" yet and I don't think I ever will be, fully. Don't get me wrong- no one has said that I should be "over it" but it has been hard that some people don't understand the level of loss this is for our family and for me.

"Your grief may be physical."- I have felt sick for the past week. I think I had the flu, but I just haven't fully recovered. I am tired, sick to my stomach, and have a headache. I feel like I am definitely physically feeling the grief.

"Your grief may entail mourning for your loss now, but also what you may miss in the future."-this is a big one. I think about what family events and holidays will be like without Linda and I am just sad. Nothing will ever be the same. I think about her children growing up and their memories fading of their mom. I hate to think about that, but I know that life will progress and they will remember less and less. I grieve for the things they will go through without their mom-life events, etc.

"You may feel like you are going crazy." YES YES YES!!! The other night, I actually had to sit and ask myself if I am certifiably crazy, or just feel that way? How would I really know if I was crazy or not? Is this real, or just a horrible nightmare? It seemed almost as if the whole situation was something I had concocted in my head. But, I know that's not true. It is real and having to deal with the reality of the situation has been hard. I finally convinced myself that I wasn't crazy because Devin was at work and if I were crazy, he certainly would not leave our two children home alone with me.

Those are just a few that are hitting home with me. There are probably 20 or more on the sheet and I always read through them with the birth mom and her mom if she is with her and then ask them to tell me which ones are the ones they feel most. It is always interesting because the daughter and the mom will have totally different answers. It is good because it helps them to see that everyone grieves differently.

I am having a really hard time sleeping- which is not something that has ever been a problem for me before. I sit up at night and just think about things over and over and over again. It's horrible. Sometimes I fall asleep fine, but then will wake up at 2 or 3 or 4 am and then can't go back to sleep for hours on end. It is not fun.

It is hard that life just keeps going when it feels like we need time to heal. The world should stop because our world just crashed. But, that's not how it is. And actually, it has been good to be back to work completely and to keep occupied with things that are demanding my attention. It brings back a sense of normalcy. It makes me forget the hardships for a time. It helps me to see that there is meaning to life still.

I think this is just a post for me. I want to be honest about my feelings and this is a good way for me to put things into words. In all actuality, I think I am doing really well overall. I deal with things by talking about them and talking about them some more, so this is one format for me to do that. I know some people do not like to talk about things and that is fine, but I am the opposite. (Perhaps I am a chronic over-sharer? It's possible. But it suits me and I am fine with it.)

I am doing fine because I have a great sense of peace in the situation. I don't know all the answers and it is an individual journey for each of us who are affected by loss (this or any other) to come to a place of feeling that peace. I just have felt comfort and a sense that it will all make sense some day. I am not in charge and our Heavenly Father has a plan that is greater than here and now. I know the place were Linda now resides is a place of peace and rest and I know that there is nothing greater that she deserved than just that-peace and rest. So, on with life we go. But, it doesn't make me miss her any less.

Sidenote: It has been very interesting to see Hallie process this loss. She talks about Aunt Linda and remembers that I told her she now lives in Heaven. The other day, she asked me if she was coming back. I responded that no, she isn't coming back. But then she said, "Yes, she will come back when Jesus comes back!" It's as simple as that. Her knowledge just surprises me- we have never talked about resurrection that I can remember. But, the simple faith of a two year old lifted me up as well. Of course she is right, she will come back. And we will just have to be patient until that day.

4 months (okay, more like 4 1/2 months)

Jacer bug has now passed the four month mark. Yay! Sorry for the delay in posting about him at four months, but things have been a bit crazy around here. We finally made it to the doctor and here are his stats:

Weight: 16 pounds 15 ounces (95%)

Height: 26 1/2 inches (95%)

This child is even bigger than the last! Is this even possible? Here is Hallie's 4 month post if you want to see what she looked like and what she was doing. She looks fatter...but Jace has her beat.

Here are some tidbits about our cute bug:
*You can see how tall he is. While these pajamas fit nicely on his body, they sure aren't long enough, eh? Yes, he was mad. But that didn't stop me from getting his picture. He'll have to get used to that.
*While Hallie was starting to sit up at this age, Jace is not. He does however roll over both ways and Halllie did not at this age. Funny how kids are different.

*Here are Jace and Hudson. They have spent a lot of time together lately and quite like each other. Hudson likes to feel Jace's head and stick his hands in Jace's mouth, all in the name of "let's be friends." Jace has such a round face and Hudson has such a long face, but they do sort of look similar at times.

*Jace still LOOOOOOVES his binky. Cannot overstate that. Hallie never really was a binky baby, but Jace certainly is.

*Jace sleeps from 7 pm to about 8 am. He is such a good boy. He naps three times a day usually for an hour to three each time. He is routine oriented and likes things the same. For bed/nap time, we lay him in his crib with his binky in his mouth and his blankie on the side of his face. We also turn on his music for him and he goes right to sleep. Take away any one element of this routine and he has a much harder time.

*I was certain Jace was going to be a calm, cool, and collected boy at all times like his daddy. Not so. He has a high pitched girly scream to let you know when he is mad. And boy can he get mad!

*We have sort of started Jace on rice cereal. He doesn't like it, again in contrast to his sister who downed the stuff (and anything she was given). He hasn't quite mastered how to use the spoon, so maybe things will improve as he figures that out more.

*Jace is wearing 6 month clothes. He fits in some 3-6 month stuff, but not much.

*Jace has two teeth. The two bottom guys came in while we were in Idaho for the weekend. I didn't even know he was teething really, other than I had felt his gums and they felt a bit swollen a few days before. I was telling Che' that and then she felt his gums and proclaimed that he had two teeth! Sure enough. I thought it was kind of early to have teeth...I think Hallie was more like 9 months before she got her first.

*Jace, like Hallie, has a fake cough perfected. He uses this tool when he wants attention. Cough cough, laugh, cough cough, look at me! What a silly boy.
*Jace is well loved by his parents and his sister, as you can see here. He is a good sport about letting Hallie dress him up in her bows and such. However, let's hope that doesn't continue forever!

Let me be honest here for a minute-- when I found out Jace was a boy, I was a tad bit disappointed. I had only had a girl and loved having her (still do) so I thought another girl would be so much fun. However, I cannot tell you how much I have loved having a little boy. Jace is my little buddy and I love him so much. I could just eat him up. He makes me so happy and is the sweetest little guy. I know I will love all of my children, regardless of gender, but having him has been such a great experience and I am grateful to have him in my life.

Idaho Weekend

Beware of many photos to follow. I can't narrow it down...super sorry.

After Linda's funeral in Logan on Friday, we all drove up to Idaho, where she was laid to rest in the Ashton Cemetery. Though her funeral and burial was of course hard, it was also good because it helped with a little bit of closure on that end. We also found out the other day that Linda's death certificate named Amniotic Fluid Embolism as her cause of death, which has also helped bring a little bit of closure, knowing it was a completely rare and horrible thing that really could not have been prevented. It has still been very, very hard. What else is there to say?

{By the way, anyone who would like to see Linda's obituary can do so HERE}

The rest of the weekend, we all attempted to have some semblance of normalcy in celebrating the Fourth of July.

We spent a lot of time at Grandma's house, sitting around, hanging out on the porch, and playing in the yard in the sprinklers and kiddie pool. We also had a water balloon volleyball game, which was great fun (though sadly, Carlie and I lost. Next time, next time.)
One night, we made the trek to the sand dunes. This is always a fun thing to do and we did have a good time, though sort of in a redneck way... somehow we managed to only bring one package of hotdogs for the whole lot of us, no napkins, no cups, and no silverware. Pretty awesome. We made it work though and Carlie was kind enough to run back to get more hot dogs for the die hards who insist upon eating them (not me.)
Mari Ann and Grandma
Dev and Jacer
Cortney and Max
Sue and Devin showed up wearing the same shirt. Classy. I love it. I won't say who is cross-dressing....
A bunch of the crowd at the top of one of the dunes: Steve, Jen, Dev, Sue, Nort, Hallie, Jack, and Brad
Che' and little Hudson. Yes, I mean little. Jace clearly outweighs him now. It's getting ridiculous.
Jack

Landon, Che', and Hudson
Races to the top of the dunes? Yes, please.
Grandpa Doyle
Mari Ann and Jack roasting some dogs
Oh yep, I was there too. Evidence is here.
Yes, this scares me. Ryen, Mason, Carter, and Avery all took turns driving the four-wheelers around despite none of them being older than 10. We have a bunch of little dare-devils on our hands! (This is Ryen taking her turn.)
Hallie LOVES hot dogs- which she did not get from me. She was one of the lucky ones who got a dog from the one package that showed up before Carlie ran to get more. She doesn't care for the bun, oddly enough.

I think this thing is called a Razor? Fun little machine. Judd took my mom for a really crazy ride. You can see he is quite proud of himself. I took the machine for a ride and made it about 10 feet before I got it stuck. A little cautious? YES. Don't worry, I put the pedal to the metal after that and was more successful.
Remember how we didn't bring cups? We DID have water bottles, so after emptying those, they became our "cups" for the pop. Remember, I did say redneck!
Sadie and Jen

Judd back for another round of scaring innocent people- this time Hailie.


Continuing with the redneck theme, that night, Devin and I went to sit in Judd and Sue's "Redneck hot-tub." It's an animal trough sitting out in the middle of their farm that they fill up with 120 degree mineral water straight from the ground. Let me tell you, it was AMAZING! It was dark so we had a great view of the entire area, plus a lot of people were lighting fireworks, so that was really cool to watch. I think we will be hitting that up again at some point.

Monday, we were able to go to a parade and have lunch at Grandma's before we needed to head back to Utah. We hit the Rexburg parade with Mike and Lara, Che', Landon, and Hudson, Mari Ann, Jennifer, Steve, and Sadie. It was fun, though not the best parade I have ever seen. Hallie got a TON of candy though, and that is all that matters to a 2 year old.

Hallie loves Che'. She sat with her the whole time and had her help get her candy and such.
Cute Hudson
Dev and Jace
My favorite "float". They didn't really have floats, more like a lot of tractors. But this sort of counts.`
Devin and Jace. I looked over and saw that Dev had him sitting on the curb and had his arm around him and thought it was pretty cute.
Landon and Hudson. Hudson is obviously enthralled with whatever Landon is pointing at!
Oh- this is a picture of Houston for Mari Ann. He got to ride this cart in the parade as part of the "hydration committee". Apparently someone passed out last year, so he rode around looking for people who might need water to try to prevent that sort of thing. Very useful, very useful.
Mari Ann got a FREE car wash after she yelled the loudest (don't worry, we helped!) when the car wash people came by. Yay for her! She was sure excited.

Of course, on the way home I wanted to stop and see sweet Charlie. She seems to be making great progress. Every little thing she does, I consider a miracle. She continues to amaze.
I loved this little message they had up for the weekend while everyone was in Idaho. The NICU nurses take good care of her and send lots of cute pictures to Brad. Ryen turned 7 the day before her mom's funeral and some nurses took pictures of Charlie dressed up in a birthday hat and made a scrap book page to send to Ryen for her big day, which I thought was really sweet.

Anyway- it has been a crazy, crazy few weeks. It seems unfair that life has to continue on despite the fact that it will never be the same for us, and especially not for Brad and the kids. However, I know that Linda would never want us to sit around and mope all our lives. I know she would want us to continue to have family get togethers and to enjoy life, which is what we are trying to do. We are trying to get back into the routine of things- work, cleaning the house, etc. but it has been hard. I still think about her nearly constantly. The pain has eased some, though, and I know it will continue to do so.

I hope you all had a wonderful and safe Independence Day!

Memories

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of ups and downs, crazy emotions, grieving, crying, laughing, and remembering. I do this mostly for myself, but I want to record some of my favorite Linda memories and share some of my favorite Linda pictures to remember my hilarious, fun-loving, best-aunt-ever, aunt.

It was an honor for me to be able to give Linda's life sketch at her funeral on Friday. That was a perfect opportunity for me to gather some of my thoughts and write them out. This is a format for me to preserve them. How about a narration of photos and some thoughts/fun stories (numbered) about Linda from the life sketch? Okay. Sounds good to me. Read on if you wish.

{Aren't we so glad we got these pictures at Christmas time? YES! It was a hassle and everyone was kinda ornery about it, but we had not had family pictures for probably 20 years. And now look--definitely glad to have these! Linda and her sweet family- Brad, Carter, Ryen, and Jack. Baby Charlie was in the womb.}
{All the sisters, plus Grandma and Doyle. They are a funny bunch. Sue, Linda, Mari Ann, and Lisa} {All of the siblings at Charlie's funeral four years ago. Too much loss in our family? Yes. Steve, second from the left, also passed away about a a year ago. Craig, Steve, David, Linda, Susan, Charlie in the photo, Lisa, Lynn, and Mari Ann. Now down too six. So sad.}

1)Linda was adopted when she was two days old by my grandparents and became the 9th child in the family. Linda’s arrival into the family was a surprise- her parents told the other 8 children that they were going to go away for a few days and that when they returned, they would be bringing home something special for them. Upon their arrival home, some of the siblings remember running down the stairs to see what the surprise was- it was a baby! Linda could not have been a better surprise and she quickly became the favorite sibling. Linda was sealed to her family for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake City Temple when she was three years old. Linda was a miracle and truly made our family complete.
{Christmas is a favorite holiday- though you would never know it from Linda's face. Apparently she also refused to wear the top part of her matching jammies with us. I'll forgive. It's classic in our family to give really awesome gifts at Christmas time and Linda was the QUEEN of it.}
{On our trip to Nauvoo in 2005, Brad sat in some sap. Being the good wife that she is, Linda volunteered to get it off right then and there and this picture was born. It's a favorite.}

2) Linda loved to dress up for Halloween as a child and teenager and convinced her friends to so do for many years beyond when is normally considered acceptable. They also would “get stuck” or “run out of gas” often so that they could be “rescued” by boys.
As a teenager, one of her more famous stories happened when she “borrowed” quite a number of political signs from people’s yards (of course just the ones she didn’t believe should win) and was caught, causing her to take a little trip to the police station. My grandma refused to come get her, thinking it would teach her a lesson.

{Witchapalooza at Gardner Village has become an annual family event.}
{Neil Diamond concert. ohhhh yes...all the best stories happen at Neil Diamond concerts. Read on and you will see.}

3) Linda was the “favorite aunt” and made sure to keep her status by inviting myself, my sister Jennifer, and our cousins Cortney and Che’ Lyn for a visit one summer when we were between the ages of 10 and 14. We entertained ourselves at her house while Linda would work during the day. Let’s just say that she was a trusting woman! We fried our brains on a constant diet of talk shows, ate all her food (including a massive 5 lb. brick of cheese), and walked all over town with huge ratted hair and mis- matched outfits. Let’s be honest, Linda was lucky to come home to a house still standing.

One day, someone threw a burning napkin (don’t ask me why we had a burning napkin) into a trash can, which then of course also lit on fire. It was then thrown out into the backyard and hosed down, but it became a pretty large flame before it was under control. Cortney also ran right into her screen door one day, breaking it. Linda had no idea (although she probably suspected) the fiascos that were occurring at her house while she worked. When she returned home, we put on our prettiest smiles and cleaned up really nice to ensure her that all was well. Lucky for us, we pulled off the act well, as we were invited again the next few summers. One of the summers, she took a day off of work to take us all to Lagoon and then to a Savage Garden concert. You can see why she was the favorite aunt! Oh and by the way, lest you think us unkind house guests, we did walk to the dollar store and buy Linda things like cheap lotion and bags of potpourri as thank you gifts. Very kind of us, I know.

{Family birthday party at Maddux on Brigham City. Linda was pregnant with Jack at the time and I was pregnant with Hallie. This is also when the famous van sticker appeared on her car. You know those family stickers? Linda hated them, so Sue put one on her car as a joke. Don't worry, it has stayed there ever since. She really came to love the van sticker afterall.}

4) One summer during our stay, we started to hear about a “special friend” named Brad. They had met in the cart aisle at Smith’s, despite being from the same hometown in Idaho. At first they claimed it was a business relationship because they would carpool home to Idaho sometimes. One summer during our annual visit, we spent each night going over to Brad’s neighborhood to drop off candy bars, cards, and notes on his car. (By the way, this continued into their marriage. Linda would drive around the parking lot of the school looking for Brad’s car so that she could leave him a surprise.) During our summer visits, she continued to claim that they were “just friends” but we were smart enough to figure out that it was a bit more than that. Near this time, she went on a trip to Israel with my mom and grandma. My mom’s main memory from the trip is that Linda was “over the moon” for Brad and that she missed him so much and couldn’t wait to get home to see him. Linda and Brad were married on May 15, 1999 in the Idaho Falls LDS Temple. Theirs was a special relationship. Their pet names for each other were “husband” and “wife” and it was always evident that they have such a great love for one another.

{One of the last times I saw Linda. At the baby blessings of Jace and Hudson. This is her with Brad and Jack.}

{Also a classic picture. In between the wedding and dinner at my mom's wedding. Everyone was starving and it was a good thing Sue had a lot of quarters! We sure bought out the vending machines.}

5) Brad and Linda loved to tease each other. Brad knew that Linda hated the texture and feel of cotton balls, so he would stick them under the door handle of her car on occasion. When she would go to get into the car, she would be surprised to find them there. She even refused to take them out with her hands, but would remove them with her keys.
Brad loved Linda so much that he named one of his prized cows after her- Lady Linda. He would also help Linda with her great affection for Rabbit Poop Ice- the little pellet ice- by driving across town to Arctic Circle to get it, then when they moved to the other side of town, by driving back to the other side to Sonic, which was her new preference. He would also buy large bags full for her and keep them in the freezer for during her pregnancies.

{On our visit to see Linda 2 weeks after Jace was born. This is the only picture I have of her and Jace, but it's perfect. I love it.}
{I was so sad that the quality of these pictures is so low. But, oh well, we have it. The group of us when Che' and I went to see Linda and Mari Ann at her house after the boys were born.}

6) More than anything, Linda was always kind and thoughtful. I remember getting emails from her when I was in high school, just to check in and to see how my dates were going, how school was going, etc. My parents often traveled for my dad’s job and were usually gone on my birthday. One year, Linda was babysitting us while they were gone and threw me a huge birthday party, decorated my room with balloons and candy, and made sure I had a really special day in the absence of my parents. I know she put so much thought and effort into it, and to this day, it is the birthday I remember most because of how she made me feel.

Linda would often text members of the family just to check in. She was faithful about sending funny birthday and graduation cards and some members of our family even received cards from her postmarked the day before she passed away. In our family, we love to color and it is tradition that when you color a page, you write your name and age. My best birthday card came from her a few years ago, Linda sent me a card in the form of a coloring page that she had printed from online and colored. It said “Happy birthday” then in the corner, she had written, “by Linda, age 36.” I definitely saved that one in my scrapbook.

Linda hated to see other people struggle or suffer in any way. I remember she had such concern over a co-worker’s son who had a brain tumor and then later had the same concern for my sister Jennifer’s husband Chris when he also battled a brain tumor. Linda had a soft heart and wanted to help in any way that she could. Even recently, she told me how difficult it had been for her to watch Chris suffer in the way that he did.

{Linda and I at Witchapalooza. She was always trying to get away from the camera- she hated it- so I am sure that is what she is doing here. That stink.}
{Enjoying the show with Che' and Carlie. Carlie's face is pretty great if I do say so myself.}

7) I can’t talk about Linda without mentioning her sense of humor and her quick wit. Linda is one of the most hilarious people I have ever known. One classic story happened at a Neil Diamond concert. The four sisters, including Linda, have been Neil Diamond’s biggest fans for many years. One year, we surprised each of them with tickets to go to his concert in SLC. Upon arrival, the sisters were cornered by a newscaster from FOX News. He asked what their favorite Neil songs are and while Susan and Linda respond, then my mom takes over while Linda is clearly mortified and is attempting to hide her face in the corner of the screen. She always claimed to be a “closet” Neil Diamond fan (though she was actually die-hard like the rest) and certainly did not want anyone seeing her on the news at the concert. Little did they know their brother Lynn was home that night and happened to be watching the news when the face of his sisters popped up on the screen singing a few off-key renditions of Neil Diamond songs. Somehow, one of Linda’s co-workers got a hold of the clip as well and started playing it one day while Linda was going about her work. She banned all copies of the clip from then on out, but don’t worry, it still exists. (haha, I have it HERE on my blog in fact)

{Apparently my spacing is no good. You'll have to forgive me, I'm too tired to go fix it.}

8) A few years later, there was another Neil Diamond concert, and this time the nieces were invited. We had a great time, complete with homemade t-shirts, glo-sticks, the whole bit. At one point, during the serious song, “You don’t bring me Flowers”, the audience was really feeling it and the arena became silent. Neil sang the line, “You don’t bring me flowers anymore…” when from the complete silence, we heard a voice shout, “I WILL NEIL!”We all looked down the row, shocked to find that the yell had come from none other than our own Linda.

9) One of Linda’s favorite stories occurred after that same concert. It was getting late into the night at our hotel room and everyone was having a hard time winding down. For some reason, the discussion turned to the state quarters that some people collect. Linda said, “Some people come into the credit union (where she worked) and pay three dollars for one of those quarters! It is just the stupidest thing! It’s only worth a quarter!” After a second of silence, Susan piped up, “Well, I order mine online and pay $17.50 per quarter!” Linda looked at her for a split second in disbelief and then started laughing so hard she began to cry. And cry. And cry. From then on, all we had to do was mention the Quarter Story at any given point, and Linda would again be reduced to tears of laughter. On our recent trip to Wicked, we discussed the quarter story and even though it has been years, the effect was the same on Linda.

10) The most important thing to Linda was her family- her husband and children. At her funeral I shared some quotes from her blog and her journal about each of her children that I won't share here since they are not mine to publicize. Just know that she loved each of them immensely- they were her world. She was an amazing mom who went all out on birthdays and holidays to make her kids feel special. She is one of a kind, that's for sure.

{Here is beautiful Charlie. Linda went through so much in her pregnancy to get Charlie here. She is one sweet little girl. She can still use your prayers if you would like to offer some up for her. She is off the oxygen now and breathing completely on her own, so yay for that, but there are still some challenges ahead. One thing is for sure- we love her and I know she will be such a blessing to our family. She is such a tangible reminder of her mom. What a beauty.}

Words escape me to describe the loss that I feel. Linda influenced and shaped my life a lot and her death has left such a vacancy in my life. I look forward to the day when we can be reunited. Until then, I love you Linda.