Lately I have been thinking about just how many blessings I have. Little things (or big things) that I take for granted are things that so many people struggle with. In particular, as my pregnancy nears the end, I have been so overwhelmed at times with how blessed Devin and I are that we can conceive and bear children. Working at LDS Family Services has definitely given me a different perspective that I have never considered before when it comes to something I assumed to be a given: being a mother. While many of my adoptive couples struggle with infertility and have for years, I am so amazed at their strength. I am so grateful that they are so open with me and able to share those feelings, especially as it must be that much harder as they sit there and look at me in all my pregnant glory. I have heard women cry as they tell me that they feel "broken" because they are unable to bear children, or share their intense pain over knowing that Heavenly Father's plan for each of us involves families and how they are unable to have the family they dream of. Even worse, they are often under scrutiny from family, ward members, and others around them, who either silently or vocally say things like "Why aren't you having any children yet?"
Although none of my couples read my blog (that I know of), I am so impressed with their strength and what they go through, I just had to say something. It makes me more appreciative of my blessings and hopefully all you mothers out there take some time to think about how blessed you are too. I have learned so much from the trials that my couples have gone through and I am so thankful that they are willing to share such a private, raw, part of themselves with me. I have definitely become a better person while working with these great people. Oh, and if any of you know of anyone who wants to place their baby for adoption, I know some AMAZING people!!!
Quick note for those that care: I went to the doctor today and everything seems to be going great with the baby. I am dilating and effacing so my doctor said he is pretty sure she will not come late. (sorry if that is too much information). YAY...that is good news! Though, I would still prefer her to wait until at least Nov 1st. I'm still having nightmares that she is a boy, though...and holy cow does that heartburn kill.
3 comments:
Kim you are such a great person and will be such a great mother. I can personally relate to those women and what they're going through. It is such a difficult thing to understand and go through and those women are so lucky to have such a great person like you to talk to about it. I don't know why Heavenly Father gives us certain trials in our lives, but we will all be better people for our own individual struggles. I just have to keep telling myself that and have faith that Mike and I will have our family soon enough. Thanks for being you and for understanding and being sensitive to those issues. I admire you in so many ways! I miss you!
What a great post Kimmie! I can sort of say I know how it feels not to be able to have children on your own (even though I am currently pregnant) because Chris and I waited quite a long time to be able to have kids...but at the same time I don't know how it feels at all because fertility worked for us, which we are so grateful for! Even if we almost had to live in a tent to afford it... HA HA! Just kidding! Can't wait for Hallie to come!!!!!!!!
Okay you need to call me and tell me your news from the Dr. I DEFINITELY want to hear it. I am sooo excited for you. And about your post... I know that you will just appreciate motherhood more now that you have experience what you have. What a blessing it is to hear and understand trials instead of having to endure it yourself. I know that is the kind of learning that I prefer. ALthough, these women will be blessed in the next life if not here as we have been promised.
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