Jace survived 1 month!

1 month stats:

Weight: 9 lbs. 7 ounces

Height: ??

Our handsome little man has made it to the 1 month mark! Wahoo! We just love him. He is so sweet and so far seems to have a serious personality. Hallie loves her little brother, as seen below. She is quite nice to him, most of the time. The other day, I left him on the couch for a few minutes and when I came back, Hallie had picked him right up off the couch and was carrying him into the kitchen. SCARY! Jace is a really good baby and rarely cries. He fusses a little if he is hungry or if he is cold, mostly. I think he is starting to look more and more like Devin. Wow! A child that actually looks like us! His eyes are still blue, but I think they will go brown as they are a pretty dark blue. He makes some funny faces...he has some good mad ones.

Still loves the pink chair and the swing. He is sleeping better at night and is usually up just once now. I guess I will live.

As for the RSV, he is doing much better! We think it was a short run...crossing our fingers that the worst is over.

Love this little boy! Babies= happiness.

My job as a mother of two

Poor little Jacer has RSV.

Who gave him permission to get sick?? Not me.

As if I don't have a hard enough time controlling chaos at home on my own with two kids, this means that I have had to take the two of them out together, ALONE. Eek, I know. We'll get to that.

I think Jace started getting sick on Saturday. I wanted to take him to the Urgent Care on Sunday after a really bad night Saturday night, but of course he was better during the day and we talked ourselves out of it.

Monday he was worse. Coughing, snotty, stuffy, etc. Poor little man. It breaks my heart, it really does. I called the doctor's office as soon as I got home from work and they said to bring him down right away. Luckily, Devin was home at the time. Unluckily, that meant that we had to forego our typical Monday afternoon grocery shopping trip (I love grocery shopping. I know, I'm weird) for a trip to the doctor's office instead.

The doctor checked Jace and said he suspected RSV but that we would need to go to the hospital to be checked for sure. He handed me the order form with horrible scribbles that I could not read and sent us on our way. Luckily, the hospital could read his horrible scribbles, which apparently said "Page me with results" and a phone number because we got a call from the doctor about 6 pm stating that the result was positive indeed. He gave us some ideas of what to do (which is nothing, there is nothing you can do) and told us he would like to see us again in his office the next day (today). Instant dread. I knew Devin would be working and that I would need to take the children into the office myself. Argh. Enough to ruin my whole day, I tell you.

It's not as if Jace is the problem. Let's get real here. He sleeps a good 90% of the time and is content when he is awake. The problem lies in a little girl whose name starts with an H and ends in an allie.

I enlisted Devin's help to get them both in the car when I got home from work before he had to take off for work. By the time I got to the doctor's office, Hallie was already chanting incessantly that she wanted fruit snacks. The nurse at the doctor's office has been trained by Hallie to give her fruit snacks and a sticker every time. Poor nurse, to have been whipped into such shape by a two year old. There is nothing I can do, literally nothing, to stop the chant for fruit snacks once Hallie hears mention of the doctor's office. I even tried to bribe her with candy bar. No good. (well, to be honest, she said she would take the candy bar too, but then immediately started her chant for fruit snacks again.)

The office was particularly slow today in getting us back and as they were, Hallie became more and more attached to a hideous doll in a little car seat that she found in the toy room. I could sense immediately that the doll was going to cause us problems. Yes, yes, it did.

While the doctor was checking Jace, Hallie proceeded to undress the doll, remove her diaper, and shout, "Mommy, she pooped!" I of course was trying to act like I was paying attention to the doctor, afterall, my child's health is on the line. But by ignoring Hallie's proclamation that the baby had pooped, it only increased her volume and intensity. "MOMMY!!! SHE POOPED!!!!! CHANGE HER DIAPER!!" "MOM!!!!! SHE NEEDS A NEW DIAPER. SHE IS STINKY!!!!" The balancing act then begins. Eyes trained on the doctor trying to make mental notes of all his instructions, one hand holding onto Jace, the other changing a fake diaper on a fake baby. Shouldn't that appease her? No. The second the diaper is back on, the rips it off again and starts the game over. "MOMMY! She pooped! Change her diaper!" Ahhhh, so fun. The land of pretend in a 2 year old's mind.

At this point, I could see the doctor is sensing that we have had enough. He tells me that he wants me to get some machine to suck Jace's snot out. He wants us to check in again on Thursday. Wait, back up. He takes that back. He will call us on Thursday. No need to, er, pay the co-pay again to come in, he says. (He means, let's not make this poor woman drag her two kids over here again.) And as far as the machine name, he doesn't want us to have to wait around while he finds out its exact name from his partner, so he will text it to me. Yep. The doctor texts me. That's how bad he feels for me.

Leaving the hideous doll at the doctor's office was the next big chore. Hallie ran to the doors and was on her way out before I could catch up and inform her that the doll does not belong to us and that it needs to stay there. Utter. And. Complete. Meltdown. Of course, right in front of the doors where people are trying to come in and out. What do I do? Before, I had two hands and could pry the doll out with one and pick her up with the other. Now, not so much. I glanced around at all the people staring at me and decided quick action had to be taken.

Put Jace's seat down. Grab the doll out of Hallie's hands and chuck it into the toy room. Pick Jace back up. Grab Hallie by the hand and insist that she stand up. No good. Instead, grab Hallie's hand and literally drag her out of the place, down the sidewalk, and all the way to the car. I am sure I got quite a few sympathetic, "oh that poor, awful mother!" glances. Oh well. The alternative was to leave my son in his seat in the office or outside the office, get her strapped in, and go back for him. Not gonna happen.

So- how DO you do it? 2 kids- one mom- out in public-proving to be nearly impossible! What's a woman to do!?

And- let's hope little Jace gets better soon. Sick babies are a sad, sad thing.

Devin's Tired

Image from here

It is really easy to forget how taxing it can be to get up multiple times per night. I can't really complain because Jace is actually a pretty good sleeper. He has only been up twice at most per night and sometimes just once, which is really nice. However, I still feel quite tired when I wake up in the morning.

I feel extra bad for Devin, though, because he usually comes home from work about 1 am and then gets up at 7 am to go to school. I am also a mean wife and have made him get up a few nights if both Hallie and Jace need attention, which has happened a few times. I have decided Devin is much more exhausted than I am and I should never complain again. See the following examples for evidence:

Example #1: One night, I heard Hallie wake up about 3 am, crying from her room that she needed to go potty. I decided to let Devin continue sleeping (he never hears either child and doesn't get up on his own accord. It takes me prodding him and kicking him a few times before he gets up. See, nice wife eh?) I got up and went downstairs to get Hallie. By the time I got back upstairs, Jace was crying because it was time for him to be fed. I got Hallie situated in the bathroom and then went to get Jace. I stuck my head into our bedroom door first and told Devin that he needed to take Hallie back downstairs. Shortly thereafter, while feeding Jace, I heard Devin head downstairs, yet Hallie was calling from the toilet that she was done. I was quite confused. Devin apparently forgot a needed component of returning Hallie to her bed: Hallie.

Example #2: Another night, I returned to bed after feeding Jace. As I got into bed, Devin rolled over and got on his knees on the bed as if he were praying. The following conversation then happened:

Me: What are you doing?

Devin: praying

Me: Why?

Devin: Shhhhhhh.

Me: Do you realize it is 2 am? Why are you praying now?

Devin: Shhhhhhh (much more aggravated now)

Me: Okay....

I just let him remain in that position for some time, but it eventually became quite apparent tht he was not in fact praying, he was sleeping. When I asked him about this the next morning, he had no recollection of the event. I think that my getting into the bed awakened him just enough that he must have thought we were just going to bed and needed to pray. I don't know...

Example #3: Finally, another night, I heard Hallie at the same time Jace woke up. She needed to go the bathroom again. (I am quite happy that she wakes up at night to go to the bathroom, just for the record. I didn't know long it would take before she would wake herself up if she needed to go, but she has done quite well.) We have to take her because we keep one of those lock things n her door so that she can't get out 187 times per night when she is supposed to be going to sleep. Anyway, I nudged Devin and told him I was going to get Jace and that I needed him to get up and take her to the bathroom. A half hour later, I finished feeding Jace and Hallie was still crying. I went down to get her and took her to the bathroom. The next morning I asked Devin what happened.

Me: Honey, why didn't you get up to take Hallie to the bathroom?

Devin: I did!! (very insistent)

Me: No, I am pretty sure you didn't. I was in Jace's room (next door) and never saw you come out.

Devin: No, I took her to the bathroom. I am sure I did.

Me: I took her after I fed Jace.

Devin: Oh. Did I really forget to get out of bed? I swear I did get up.

So, let's recap. Forgetting the most important part of getting Hallie back into her bed, prayers (or not) at odd hours, and very convincing trips out of the bedroom that actually did not happen.

Can't wait to see what happens next! At least it is (kind of) entertaining for me.

Adoption Update

Some people have been asking what is going on with the adoption process for us. There really isn't anything new to report, but we are ready to get going on everything again since Jace has made his arrival. We will have a home study update done hopefully sometime the end of this month and then start filing our forms! We are getting new family pictures done this week that we can then use to start a photo album for MF that we can send to the orphanage. The reason for this is so that they can start showing her our pictures and she can become as accustomed to us as possible. We have applied for every adoption grant available, though we haven't heard anything yet. But, we do have good news in that we sold our car (finally!) so the proceeds from that are in the adoption account. Yay!

The sweet woman at my work finished the translation of MF's medical records and has given them back to me. Everything there indicates that she should thrive in a family setting and her prognosis for development is good if she gets the therapy she needs- speech therapy, physical therapy, etc. She does have "minor" cerebral palsy- that's how they put it in the record. I anticipate that we will take her to the doctor here as soon as possible and just get everything checked out, including that diagnosis. One major concern is that she spent so much of her life malnourished that that is something that will need to be addressed right from the beginning, too. It was shocking to us to read that she is only 30 pounds (remember, she is 6 years old), which is 2 pounds less than what Hallie weighs. According to the report, she is only about 36 inches tall, which is also about Hallie's size.

I am re-posting a post I did shortly after Hallie was born because I think it sums up my current thoughts nicely as well. I feel the same way I did then, perhaps even more enhanced because of the additional child that I have and because we are actually in the process of adopting MF now- something I was only dreaming about then.

From December 2008, a month or so after Hallie was born:


I have kind of had a lot on my mind lately with regards to motherhood, love, adoption, and other things. While this may seem like mumbo jumbo to some, I want to share some of my thoughts. While being a mother is new to me (1 month down, a lifetime to go!), it has brought back a flood of memories for me of my time spent in Ecuador. I know anyone who has even glanced at my blog knows that I went to Ecuador because I talk about it all the time. It is such a part of me that I can't let go(nor do I want to). While working in the orphanages there, I learned to love like I have never loved before. Having Hallie only reinforced those feelings that I have felt before. The joy is overwhelming, the challenges ever present, and the love so unconditional it surpasses any other feeling.

I don't really know what I expected to feel when I had my own child, but I thought it would be something different than what I felt for the children in Ecuador. But it's not. I have really come to understand that love is not tied to blood. My feelings for Hallie are familiar to me because I have felt them before. Particularly with the baby that I grew so attached to, MF, I can honestly say I feel the same way toward her that I do toward my own biological child. While I was pregnant, I thought a lot about what would happen to MF and my feelings and care toward her. Would I just forget about her and move on since I would have a child of my own? Would my feelings lessen for her since she is not "mine"? The answer is no. If anything, I care about her more.

My heart aches to think that MF and many other children throughout the world do not have what my Hallie has. Not that I think Devin and I are amazing parents or anything, but we are parents, something MF doesn't have. I asked Devin the other day what would happen to MF and other children who were abandoned or orphaned in the eternities. I know thats a complex question, but I just wonder if they will be sealed to their biological parents or if they will be given a chance to be sealed to someone else. I know in many cases, parents abandon their children out of sheer necessity, but in the cases where they are truly abandoned in the sense that they were not wanted, I just like to think that a loving Father in Heaven will allow them to be sealed to a loving family.

I just want Hallie to grow up knowing how privledged she is and to know how much she has been blessed with. Even if we have trials and things are not always great throughout our lives (which I am sure they will not be), I want her to know that she is blessed because of the family she was born into and because of the church that she was born into. In her room, I have a picture of me and MF. I hope that as she grows up, she will ask me about her and that I can share with her my feelings toward MF and other children who are in different situations than she is.

Of course this all plays into my job in adoption. I have a greater sense of how adoptive parents can love children not biologically theirs now that I have some experience on both ends. I understand how people yearn for children to love and that the love is not conditioned on physically giving birth to the baby.

What do I want you to take from this? I don't know. Other than to know that I know how blessed I am and that I am grateful for the journey of motherhood and the feelings of love toward another human being that I have experienced in the past and am experiencing now.

2 weeks

2 week stats:
7 pounds 11 ounces
21 inches long

Our handsome boy is now 2 weeks old! Yay, we have survived thus far! Jace is a very good baby and is generally content, though he does let us know when he is hungry with a high pitched squeal. Quite funny. He sleeps most of the time still, but is starting to have more awake periods. We try to keep him awake from 7-10 pm and then put him to bed at 10 after a bath and a bottle. He is waking up about twice per night, once about 2 am and once about 5 am. I guess I can't complain...though I do feel sleep deprived still! I guess I will adjust.

Jace loves the binky and wants to constantly suck on it. He loves the swing and he REALLY loves the pink bouncy chair that is pink courtesy of his sister. We have started to do tummy time with him and he is quite content to just lay there. The one thing he hates most is being COLD. He really, really hates getting dressed and he doesn't like bath time generally or diaper changes either.

The poor boy got circumcised (I am sure he will love that I am writing about this on the blog later in life) last Friday. We didn't have it done in the hospital because I just wanted to get out of there, so we just scheduled a time at the doctor's office. I really wanted Devin to be there, but he had to do some school stuff, so I went alone. I told the doctor that I did not want to be in the room, so he sent me clear out to the waiting room so I wouldn't have to hear him wailing. Well, the nurse came to get me afterward and said that Jace didn't even cry at all- he just sat there with a bored expression on his face. Funny boy. I guess I could have stayed in the room after all.

Some thoughts on motherhood:
I really worried that I would not have as much love to give Jace as I did with Hallie. My bond with her was instantaneous and I remember feeling so overwhelmed with my love for her at the hospital right when I saw her. I was worried this time around because I did not feel as strong of a bond with Jace during pregnancy. I think it was mostly because it was the second time and while still exciting, the novelty has worn off a bit. I also worried because in the last few months, I have met with many of my adoptive couples who have adopted their second child and have had a harder time bonding the second time around. That is a totally separate topic and I have thoughts about that too, but seeing them struggle at times made me concerned that I would be the same way.

However, the instant I saw Jace, I was overwhelmed with emotion and felt my heart expand to make room for the love I feel for him. I have heard people say that your love multiplies with each child, not divides, and that is absolutely true.

I feel like I am the luckiest woman alive to have been blessed with two special spirits to raise. I am so far from perfect and I have a lot to work on in my mothering skills, but I thank Heavenly Father every night for sending me two amazing children. I hope that I can raise them in the way that He would have me do and to teach them who they are and the worth that they have.

Enough of the mushy stuff. I am in love with my new little man and we are so grateful to have him in our family.

Hallie-isms

*Hallie was playing on my phone one day and told me to "be quiet" as she made her call. I asked her who she was calling and she said that she was calling the doctor's office. I asked her what for and she said "I want fruit snacks!" (She does get fruit snacks every time we go to the doctor's office). Good luck getting them through the phone, sister.
(all pictures below are self-portraits. Just in case you wonder. She loves to get out the camera, and when she does it is inevitably aimed at herself.)

*While having the hiccups: "I have the hiccups! It's very awful."

(this necklace is from her aunt Mesha. She got really spoiled with gifts after Jace's arrival! She loves the necklace and wears it everywhere, even to bed.)

*One day, while we were at the bank, she needed to go to the bathroom. I took her into the bathroom and there was only one stall with a pretty old and gross toilet. You have to know that Hallie is a toilet connoisseur and rates every toilet she comes across, which is a lot because she insists upon using every toilet in every location we ever go. Anyway, upon seeing this toilet, she pointed to it and said "I need a new potty! That one is ROUGH!"

*She likes to ask how things are going for us. Once, she asked me "How's school, mom?" like she does for Devin. I told her I don't go to school and she responded "Okay, then. How's work, mom?"
*While cleaning up her toys: "I feel the Spirit mom!" (so glad the Spirit is telling her that picking up her toys is a good thing!)


And how is Hallie doing in general you ask? Well, she is having a bit of a rough go. She is really sweet to Jace and likes to hold him and help with his binky, getting diapers, etc. and for that I am grateful. We have only had one incident where she was not very nice to him (and that's an understatement) when she threw a phone at his head. Other than that, she has just been taking out her anger on Devin and I by throwing a LOT of fits. She thinks she is very attention deprived. We are each trying to spend as much alone time with her as possible, but that is kind of difficult with our tight schedules. We are hoping this is a short lived phase!

Trek to Auntie Linda's

This past Saturday, Che'lyn and I decided to pack up the babies and head to Logan to see our dear Aunt Linda. Linda is nearly bed-ridden due to a pinched sciatic (is that how you spell that?) nerve. Nevermind the fact that she is also pregnant and that is difficult in itself. She felt bad that she had never met baby Hudson, so we thought it a great idea to go visit.

Hudson and I. Love the self-portraits, eh?
Aunt Mari Ann and Hailie were there, too, which made it an extra special partay. I bribed Hallie all week long by telling her she would get to go see Hailie  if she was a nice girl. (I would have taken her anyway, but she didn't know that...)
Linda and Mari took turns with the babies all day, which was awesome. Hallie had a blast with her cousins Ryen and Jack. Jack is about her age and Ryen is 6.
Check out this awesome look. Jack ventured down the stairs to go play outside with his underwear over his diaper, no pants, and awesome boots. Needless to say, he didn't make it outside like this. Darn those parents for properly dressing him.
Che' took it upon herself to do glitter toenails for all the females. Hallie chose pink, of course. So cute and ready for summer!
Hudson and Jace hanging out together. Jace has a onesie that says "Hudson's bestie" and I wanted him to wear it, but it is far too huge. Another time, another time.
Hallie loves Hudson and talks about him nonstop. She of course wanted a turn to hold him and to help put his binky in his mouth.
Che' and I left Linda's house with far more than we came with. See below:
Yes, that's right. This is part of the haul we made. Linda and Brad are having a girl and then they are done, so they pulled out all their boy clothes and let us go through them. We had to use the system like one of our rich relatives died and pick one at a time so that we both got our favorite items without fighting. Yes, the goods were that great that it might have been a full on fight if we didn't do it that way. I love Che's look in this picture because, yes, it was almost overwhelming!
Sorry for the low quality on all these pictures- the camera must have been on the wrong setting. I'm kinda upset about it, but what do you do?
Some group shots. These are REALLY bad quality. UGH.
Gotta love the fam! Oh, did I mention that Linda also gave me her old Kitchenaid? She got a new one for Christmas and sent me home with her slightly used old one. SCORE!! I have my mom's old one, which is 20+ years old and only has two speeds- fast and faster. That one quickly made a trip to the DI and our new one is proudly sitting our counter and has already been put to good use.

I told Devin that our trip to Linda's house was quite lucrative and I ought to visit more often. Of course the stakes are higher now...we have a full wardrobe and a kitchenaid, so next time she might need to provide us with a car or something. Ha HA! Just kidding. We are grateful to have such fantastic family and we love time spent with them.

Genetics

How about them genetics? I said right off the bat that Jace looked like Hallie. Well, I started looking through old pictures of the girl and here is what I have come up with:

Hallie brand new:

Jace brand new:
Hallie about a week old:
Jace about a week old:

OR...I have been thinking that Jace looks more and more like Devin.

Jace newborn:
Devin newborn:

Crazy, right? The funny thing is, I don't think Hallie looks much like either of those pictures now. She changed fast and Jace seems to be too. He just is following the same pattern of looks that she did. Quite funny. I guess it is safe to say that they are siblings and though they may or may not look like Devin or me, they are both our children! :)

Let's back up a bit

We just barely finished Jace's nursery a few days before his arrival. Here is the finished product for those who want to see it. This is Hallie's old room, but we moved her downstairs and she has been a happy camper down there (as have we- she sleeps longer due to it being darker. Yay!)

Also, the Saturday before Jace's big arrival, Devin and I dedicated the day to Hallie and let her choose what she wanted to do. We knew it would be one of her last days as the only child and that her world was about to turn upside down a bit.

Her first choice? Noodles and Pizza for lunch. Sound familiar? She wanted the same thing when Che and Landon had her on Jace's birthday. What a spoiled girl. We took her to Pizza Pie Cafe and enjoyed the BYU basketball game (the last one before the huge Davies blowout) at the same time. Hallie and Devin love their Cougs! Hals was sitting on the opposite side of the table and then insisted upon moving so that she could see the TV better to watch the game. She really does love basketball. You can see they were both enthralled by the good food and good game.

Our next order of business was to watch "Toy Story 3", which we rented from the Redbox. She said she wanted to go to the movies, but there wasn't anything great showing at the dollar movies and we are too cheap to pay for the regular priced movies. She loved Toy Story 3 though (and so did we- definitely a keeper). It is really hard to get her to sit through a movie, so the fact that she did was something special.

You can see in this picture that she was cuddling with me and wanted to be held like a baby. Regressing already. Love it. She brought down her milk in her sippy cup and would not feed herself. She kept saying "Feed it to me mom! I need my bottle." She also made me feed her yogurt (the go-gurt kind from a tube). Quite funny. She definitely had a sense of what was to come.


We also allowed as many outfit changes as she wanted that day- which was about 3 0r 4. She also wanted to go without pants, as seen here. Sure, why not?
After Devin left for work, Hallie and I read nearly every book she owns and put together all her puzzles. We had a smoothie for dinner (her request) and then she was off to bed.

Hopefully we will have more "Hallie days" as she gets older and can implement this with each of our kids, too. It was a lot of fun!